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CFM Babs from Chorley FM


Hugs for Serena

Posted by CFMBabs , 02 December 2008 · 780 views

Oh Serena! How I hate those days and cars that don't behave. I guess they need TLC too, only difference is they can be fixed -- we, on the other hand can't.

I've had those days too so you're not on your own. I mean C'mon how many out there haven't. It must be hard holding down a job on top of everything else and that kind of makes me glad that I opted out of the rat race some years ago. Of course it's different for me I suppose, the salary comes in no matter what, even if my contribution wouldn't feed the fish!

Sometimes I feel used and completely on the scrap heap. Not good enough to work but good enough to maintain family harmony, as long as I do my bit. I'm not excused from making dinner, even though I don't eat. If I ask for help with chores, I'm quickly reminded of my position -- I don't work!

If the car won't start -- it's probably my fault according to my husband, I mean, can you actually do anything other than turn the ignition on that would make the car die a death? If it won't start, it won't start, end of story! I hate the accusation that follows, usually it begins with "What have you done?" I'm tempted to resort to a hammer and chisel and stand ceremoniously over the engine and say!

"Oh I smashed a couple of things because it didn't start up first time"

Garage bills are always the result of my lack of maintenance and the last time my car was in the garage, that was my fault too! Someone reversed across the road and hit me -- so my fault for being there perhaps?

Yes I empathise very much with you. How do you cope, carry on, keep positive? The answer is you just do!



Posted by CFMBabs , 01 December 2008 · 797 views

With this condition you learn to become patient, like it or not! You become tolerant too with the old saying "Good comes to he who waits!" I was all that yesterday as I sat in our local hospital emergency dept. If there was going to be an annoying fellow individual then the odds were that she'd sit next to me-- She did! It was instantly obvious that she was a little drunk, well it was 2.30 in the afternoon and rather apt that I should be suffering with tooth -- hur-- tee don't you think?

Not to laugh at really because I was in some agony, in fact excruciating pain that almost had me in tears! I'd checked in at reception looking like a Zombie, feeling a bit like one too. How on earth I managed to drive to the department is beyond me. I was in a daze and totally oblivious to anything but this horrible ache in my jaw.

I sat in crowded room with my head down. I thought people were staring at me so I became quite paranoid. Children ran around the room, parents screamed at their kids, magazines everywhere and aggravation all round. There were people limping, holding faces, groaning and then this one who plonked herself down with such lack of grace that the draught nearly blew me off my chair. Her breath nearly cured my pain until she elbowed me in the chest as she nearly fell off her seat.

"Oh boy do I get em!"

I was on the verge of going home. I'd been sat for an hour without being seen and listening to others saying they'd been there hours already, my heart sunk! The lady beside me began to fidget and rummage in a plastic bag. She turned to me and asked if I could listen out for her name as she needed the bathroom. I hesitantly said yes, and she got up very shakily and stumbled towards the door.

My name was called -- thank goodness, I thought. I was shown into a cubicle and sat down to be questioned and assessed by the nurse who looked like the end of her shift couldn't come any sooner. I explained my pain and then she asked if I had any other symptoms or illnesses. Well where do you start? I told her briefly about my condition and was quite surprised to learn that she knew all about sclero, Raynaud's etc and wasn't particularly phased about my tube. I explained that it wasn't working and was due to be changed early next week, so I was having trouble getting pain relief since I couldn't swallow tablets or drink dispersable ones because they made me sick.

"You are in a predicament love, aren't you? You look very pasty and weary, do you feel unwell?"

"Well I don't feel great but it's more with pain and tiredness than with ill."

She checked me over and told me to sit back in the waiting room and a doctor would see me shortly. I returned to my chair since the lady who'd sat beside me appeared to have left or was being seen by the doctor. I was a bit disappointed to see her stagger back to her seat clutching the plastic bag as before. She began to bother me. Talking into my face, nudging me, asking about my condition and asking if they'd called her name. Everyone by this time had realised that she was taking something and an air of quiet went round the room. I felt as though I was on centre stage -- was they looking at me or her? I was being completely paranoid, most unlike me!

Finally I was called by the doctor and placed in yet another cubicle where I sat feeling dreadful and wishing I wasn't there! I went through all my symptoms again as he stood over me.

"Have you looked in the mirror Mrs Lowe? Have you seen the swelling over your cheek bone?"

I'd not been in the mood for mirrors of late except to comb my hair so the answer was no!

"I think you have an abscess under your tooth" He said as he examined the inside of my mouth.

"Yes it's infected your gums and roof of your mouth. It will make you quite poorly if left."

I felt annoyed because I'd been to the dentist not two days ago and he told me there was no sign of infection or an abscess! I'd suffered for over a week when it could have been sorted much sooner. I thanked the doctor and left with two bottles of liquid antibiotics and painkillers. I walked through the waiting room were an argument had broken out with the lady beside me and several other people who simply weren't in the mood for her antics.

Now I have to work out how to get the antibiotics in --- down a tube that is kinked and only works intermittently.

Today as I write, the pain is still there. It looks like winter outside and I'm about to attempt a dose of medication. Wish me luck.



Posted by CFMBabs , 27 November 2008 · 871 views

What a week so far, please don't tell me it's Friday. I've pretty much sat around all week feeling sorry for myself and doing little about it! May I ask what to do if you have the worst toothache imaginable and your dentist can't fit you in for an appointment? Well, I decided to ride it out but then hit another major problem -- my feeding tube is blocked.

So I contact the hospital who in turn can't see me until today (Friday) Meantime I'm pacing the floor at night with what feels like someone ripping my face off and sticking a pole up into my brain. Oh me and my exaggerations but it's just how it feels -- agony!

I've always looked after my teeth until sclero decided to do it for me! Now my gums have receded and I think this is the problem. I was fine when the dispersable paracetamol was going in with ease down my tube but when it blocked I had a fountain of water and I leaked like an old bucket! I lay awake most of last night and the night before that, moaning and trying to bury my face in the pillow, but it throbbed relentlessly and I'm not an happy bunny!

My quest for today will begin with getting my tube sorted out at the hospital and then, I think, a face off with my dentist --- he either sees me now or I ain't going nowhere! I simply refuse to take any more of this pain when there is no need. My set appointment was for the 17th Dec anyway for a check up, so I can't see the problem. Surely a bit of overtime won't damage his huge pay packet and goodness knows I've contributed to that over the past two years. I think he sees pound notes in my fillings not mercury. By the time I die my mouth will be worth more than gold in scrap metal.

With the holidays creeping up behind me, I need to give myself some TLC. The festivities will not happen if I'm not at my best. I have 10 members of our very small family coming for dinner with not enough chairs to go around! I worry about seeting arrangements whilst my daughter puts things into perspective like, no gable end, slippy drive full of goose poo and with only one room useable for a gathering, well I think who's the sensible one here? I'm planning a meal, she's being methodical.

Looking out of the window reminds me to get my skates on, it's looking decisively seasonal. I'm having my second Raynaud's attack of the day and there's no way I'm going outdoors for fuel. The family are still in slumber and I'm waiting for the water to heat up for the bathtub. I'll have to be on my way up the very busy motorway soon -- not looking forward to a stressfull journey and an aching jaw! I'm not looking forward to all the jiggery pokery when I get there. All in all, lousy week!


Just Manic!

Posted by CFMBabs , 19 November 2008 · 1,000 views

There I go again -- me and my big mouth! I can't help myself from volunteering my services for almost anything. I've got myself into cooking 100 chicken drumsticks, 200 sausage rolls and 200 vol au vents! What for? you may ask! Well it's our annual radio presentation evening for which I've been nominated for an award. Don't jump for joy for me because it's nothing too special, in fact everyone at the station gets one and without sounding ungrateful, I suppose I'd be upset if I was the only one without. So I shall accept with grace!

It's a community radio station with no funds to spare. We have to raise our own to keep going -- hence the buffet, cooked by me and others of course! It's a tricky operation and a bit underhanded because I'm meeting Carl our Jamaican DJ at the chicken stall -- hopefully he'll have a bag of drumsticks for me! He's making a curry, or in his words "I'ma Mackin-a corry" He's so sweet, I love him dearly and I can't wait to have a taste of his speciality. Of course that's all it will be but I'm looking forward to it all the same!

The Pixie outfit looks promising for this weekend's project. I've been a busy bee this week because sitting on my table is a cake for a baby naming ceremony which takes place on Sunday. Me and my big mouth again you see! "Oh I'll make your cake," without stopping to think that I may have enough on my plate, but that's just me!

Anyway, that's all done now and waiting to go and this weekend will see the last of my voluntary predicaments over and done with. I'll try to keep my big mouth shut, especially as it's getting close to December and I'm afraid that's just wild!

My daughter is convinced that I've lost my sanity! The geese turn me into a raging maniac in a morning. They chew my window bottom and nibble my door, much to my annoyance. The noise they make reverberates throughout the house and after listening to their constant honking -- I just lose my head! Yesterday they got to me so bad that I flew into the kitchen, grabbed the sink bowl, filled it with water and chucked it at them, shouting and screaming!

"Mum, calm down -- leave then alone!" my daughter pleaded, but I was on a mission and I had it in for the gander who by all accounts hates me and vice versa! The dog ran round in circles until one of the flock or gaggle, let's get it right, nipped her on the back and she shot under the car for safety. Well they all kicked off again just as if they were laughing and this infuriated me more. Of course when my hubby came home, he got an earful from me.

"Pen those insane critters up before I behead them all and roast them for dinner!" I exploded. "They make loads of mess and I'm scared to walk outside because it's so slippery!"

My hubby goes through life without a care and he just shrugged his shoulders and commented, "What can I do, poor little geese!"

Y'know he bought an electric guitar -- yes! electric guitar. What for? well to play at the festive family gathering. One problem though -- he can't play a note, neither can anyone else so we're going to end up in some noise with wannabe rock stars as well as my daughters electronic game and, of course the geese, if they're not sitting cooked on my table? All we need now is drums and we have a quartet since my daughter already has a keyboard. "Oh save me someone?"

This week has been hectic and I'm glad to see the back of it! Next Monday will be the start of a new me -- no volunteering, no getting stressed, being nice to my geese, goats, chickens, dog, cat and hubby, and being a good little wife sewing in the corner -- roses round the door? ------ NOT!, NOT!, NOT!


Give Me A Cushy Job!

Posted by CFMBabs , 19 November 2008 · 776 views

I'm not going to complain today -- I'm beginning to sound like a grouch! I should be contented with everything I have rather than have not! and I should be thankful that my condition is not as worse as others and that is a very good thought!

I have been rather busy though. I remarked to a friend that I would probably be better off at work and she agreed remembering her own time at home! I do much more than would be expected of me. Maybe it's the amount of work I do that keeps me well or away from dwelling about what's really going on!

I'm off to collect my Aunt from a nursing home today. I manage to see her every two weeks, the reason being she's so far away. My Dad moans "Your'e doing too much lady" but expects the same treatment as always, running up and down to his place and making sure he's okay. He's on the phone 14 times a day if not and the recent exploits with my phone just make my day unbearable.

I have my instructions for my daily routine. My daughter got out of the car this morning departing with the words "Three o clock today mum" and then swanned off into college, keeping her head down in the wind. I arrived home and negotiated the drive -- the best way of walking up it without slipping. It's so slippery due to the bad weather and dirty geese. I've fallen too many times lately and it's no fun believe me. By the time I've made it to the door, the goats have got there ahead of me and wait for bread, unmoving until they get some. So by this time I'm on auto pilot -- walk of fear, bread for goats and geese, let chickens out, make fire, feed the cat and do the housework!

The phone rings just as I make through the door with a request for shopping for my dad. I'll pick up whatever he needs on my travels and somewhere between here and there, I might just have time to connect my feeding regime, if not it's boiled sweets for me!

If I had a job, I'd know exactly where I was each day. I'd make time to do the things I needed to do because I wouldn't have time for anyone else -- does that make sense? Of course those jobs are few if any. Who would employ me for a start? It would have to be a 10am start, a sitting down job with frequent breaks, above average working temperatures, and a very understanding boss! Sounds ideal to me and I'd get paid for it! -- Give me a job!

Better get on with my day much to do, plenty to see!



Posted by CFMBabs , 18 November 2008 · 773 views

I awoke to find a big yellow thing in the sky. It took me a moment to recognise it and I almost reported it as being a UFO. Of course after the initial shock, I was pleased to put it down to the sun, Y'know that big orange star in our galaxy -- I presume it's a star and not a planet, least ways it's a star to me whenever it makes an appearance!
It made it's entrance today, right in time for the local market which was a complete wash out last week. I needed some material for a fancy dress that my daughter wishes to wear over the festive season. I don't know anywhere as cheap or of better quality that our little market so I was quite pleased when I saw the little man standing at the stall.

The trouble with market day is that it attracts so many people, especially if the sun is shining, that it's so difficult to park. I go early to avoid the rush but it seems no matter how early I arrive, the car park is always full and I have to walk a marathon to get there. Well, with my little car parked up further away than anticipated, I was quite miffed when I noticed I'd left my disabled badges at home, so now I had to walk to the ticket station to buy one which was another trek across the park. I sighed more than once and when I had to queue for the machine as well, my impatience grew ever thinner.

I needed to go to the bank for cash and then found myself in another queue. I had young lady behind me who was trying to cripple me with her baby's pram as she stuck her face in a book and rocked the baby to sleep. I let out a huge sigh and the people in front turned around and gazed at me to which I just gave half a smile and nothing else. By this time the back of my calf was becoming quite sore as the young lady rhythmically bumped it with the pram, much to my annoyance. I thought that if people moved forward slightly, she may just hang back a little but to no avail until finally she hit me so hard that my leg almost went from underneath me and with an apology she put down her book and stopped moving the pram back and forth.

I was next and just as the customer went away, so did the cashier, Arrgggh! I was in no man's land, not in the queue and stuck between an empty till and one which was about to become vacant -- should I quickly dash to that one? I thought. Too late the young lady with the battering ram was already there and I was left still waiting for the cashier to return! Finally she made her appearence with "Sorry" and then I had to move to one side as the battering ram and young lady squeezed past on exit. I got my cash along with numerous questions about who did my car insurance, life assurance and savings. I had no time to discuss my personal finances, so I just grabbed my money and left.

Back to the market and I managed to purchase the material. It had gone up slightly in price since I last enquired but I'd lost the will to live by now and the sanctuary of home seemed so welcoming.

At least the sun is still shining and I drove home feeling a bit frustrated but tingling with excitement as I planned my next project -- Pixie costume. I'd picked up numerous items from the local supermarket, a bag full of bread for us and the geese. I had four bags in total in the car and when I pulled up to the gate, I was greeted by a whole farmyard of animals.

I opened the gate and drove slowly up the drive. The geese were in front, goats at the side, dog at the back and the chickens were running everywhere! I couldn't get out of my car and Apple the grey female goat stared through the window but was more interested in the bags she could see on the back seat. I could see what was going to happen if I got the bags out, so I left the car and went indoors until they'd all lost interest.

I opened the front door with my key -- why I lock it, I don't know because I could just as easily come in through the gable end, but as I entered the phone was ringing and so was my mobile -- which do I answer first? I decided to answer my mobile because my phone had already rung 3 times and I only had two more rings before it went off, so I left it and answered my mobile. Whoever it was on the phone would probably ring back or leave a message I thought!

My hubby came home shortly afterwards for lunch and remarked there was no fire, no lunch and asked what I'd been doing all morning. Before I blew into a rage, he laughed as he saw how frustrated I was.

"Bad day dear?" he asked

Well at least the sun shone and still shines as I'm home alone thinking about getting my bags out of the car. With coast clear of animals I'll make a break and bring them in without being mobbed.

Strange! -- if it had rained my day would have been much more peaceful!


Raynaud's Dance!

Posted by CFMBabs , 17 November 2008 · 868 views

Rubbing my hands and stamping my feet -- no! I'm not doing a nursery rhyme dance but the Raynaud's Jig! I'd run on the spot but I'll give that a miss seeing as I'm stood right besides my car which is displaying a blue disabled badge -- what would the other drivers think of me:

"Oh yeah, bet those badges belong to someone else?"

Well I kind of wish they did and they can have this disease as well! I simply hate the cold but what choice do I have living on a rain soaked island that has forgot to order the sun. Pity it didn't forget to ask the rainman to cancel the last order!

You can probably tell that I'm about to moan again! Why not? it's all I seem to do these days, if it's not the weather, it's the institution! and if I hear the word credit crunch once more, It would be more than once too often.

Fact is, people are spending money everywhere as if to show the world that there is no shortage of dosh. The stores are full of seasonal stuff even though the outlook makes grim reading. My daughter still persists in asking for the latest gadget, which is constantly out of stock, much to the dismay of many who have resorted in placing their name on a list just in case there is a delivery. How do I know this? -- well I'm one of em! I thought those days were over but it seems they are not and I still find myself chasing my tail throughout November and December, hence the freezing extremities and risking pneumonia!

Back home, I sit beside the fire building the flames higher and higher. If I sat on top, I'd still feel as though I was on an ice cube. My whole body is cold and I mentioned to my hubby last night as we lay in bed that even my esophagus felt icy cold like I'd been eating extra strong mints. Of course he was so concerned that he cuddled me and offered to fill a hot water bottle -- not! He just turned over and continued to snore with a little grunt which showed he'd acknowledged my moan but wasn't that concerned!

I'm going out tonight --- oh no! Do I really want to? The answer is no, not at all. I can't be bothered getting ready or going outdoors again to some draughty pub and drinking fizzy liquids. I feel so odd asking for a coffee and I get some funny looks too.

"Hey this lady wants a hot drink -- get her! Comes to a pub and thinks it's a cafe, what a dweeb!"

Of course that's my over active imagination, but I don't think I'm far wrong. Everyone will be laughing at something which I just don't get! I'll join in and hope no one asks what I think because I don't know what I'm laughing about anyway. There was a time when I would have found a drunken observation highly amusing but all I do nowadays is sit there with eyes like dinner plates, hyper on caffeine! I'll arrive home, bouncing off the wall with self inflicted insomnia, and there goes my hubby snoring again!

I'm already making excuses, but I have to go because it's an important meeting. Perhaps I'll slip away early, right after the second round of nuts -- Mmmm, that sounds good to me!


Give Me A Break!

Posted by CFMBabs , 15 November 2008 · 774 views

Saturday morning already -- the weeks are just flying by. Soon it will be the end of the year and what do I have to show for it? We never did anything constructive this year, it hasn't been memorable in any way what-so-ever. In fact it's probably just an extension of last year and the year before that without any defining break.

The weather has been awful, my house is, well, still not a house, rather 4 rooms in a field, and there I go complaining again! I wonder how others would cope? If I base my assumption on my sister-in-law then I suppose I must be the most patient and uncomplaining person on the planet. She complains to me from Australia, it seems that she can never be too far away!

I hear, "You never complain about your illness!" from my friends. In actual fact I have much more to complain about than that, maybe that's the reason I don't. This will be the third year in our 3 walled humble abode. I've adapted so well that having 4 walls, a stair rail, doors which close properly in a monsoon, and a proper central heating system will be luxurious and overwhelming! It will seem strange to get up in the morning without a goose on the first step of the stairs, or a goat sticking it's head through my kitchen door. If you think that's a terrible scenario ---- for me it's normal.

Of course no one understands that but if they'd lived in a tin can for 4 years in cramped conditions and through one of the worst periods of their life, then moving into a half finished house was sanctuary at the time. Putting that time into perspective I don't know how I coped with being so ill, on a feeding tube with nurses attending most days. To have pancreatitis so bad that I collapsed, when the gastro consultant told me it was just surgery pain -- well! how do you cope?

I dreaded the nurses calling and worst still the dietician who was scared stiff of dogs and other animals. I had to escort her from the gate to my trailer and then back again to her car, no matter how I felt! The day I collapsed in agony, the ambulance arrived. They coudn't get a stretcher in or out of the door and the poor paramedic had to carry me. The drive was overgrown on the wayside, the ambulance was wider than the drive! We arrived at the hospital with half a field of weeds wrapped around the wheels. My hubby followed on and remarked that he just needed to follow the trail of greenery strewn all over the road to find me -- how embarrassing is that?

We felt like the Clampetts, Steve in rubber boots and the most awful jumper used only for outdoor building work. I'd been so cold that I had on more layers than an onion -- then there was the goose poo all over the hospital floor, not from us but the paramedics who'd stood in most of it. My blood pressure soared from the embarrasment of it all; I just wanted to leave!

We had a nice life once, so where did it all go wrong?. A lovely cozy house in town. Friends who popped in and out for a chat -- no animals except Tropical fish and I had my business. We all left at the same time each morning, and all returned together. I had my young daughter in a local school and life was just rosy except for a minor problem with scleroderma. I'd had my ups and downs with it for sure but nothing like the problems I was about to face in the future.

So it's almost the end of November! And here we are stuck in a rut, in fact a bit worse off than last year since we took the wall down. We keep hoping for better weather; all we have to hope for now is just a dry spell but nearly every day it rains. I can't even say "Roll on summer!" I said that last year and we're still waiting for it!

Please give me a break someone!


Should I Just Scream!

Posted by CFMBabs , 14 November 2008 · 800 views

Okay, enough about the exploits of my telephone problem -- I have much more to deal with than that if I put it in perspective! I awoke this morning feeling like I'd been hit by a double decker bus and then scraped up off the floor with a road sweeper's brush! All right that was a bit graphic and over the top but you know me?

My situation bears the fruit of no sympathy so I don't bother to mention that I had my head over the toilet for most of the day. It's like being pregnant all over again and I remember the first 3 months all too well. When the family come home, I'm my usual perky little self and I went about the rest of the day looking like I had an hangover.

As a nation of complainers other than the weather where there is much to complain about! I think we don't complain enough. I realise that if I had a full time job I would succumb to many injustices this wacky world has to throw at me! Am I a lone soldier, seeing as I'm home all day with nothing better to do than have a go at the institution? I just don't have rose tinted lenses, I'm afraid, and I can see around the corner much more clearly than most.

I knew I couldn't go any further without mentioning telecommunications. Yes! I have a mobile phone which confuses me each time it rings -- well it doesn't ring actually -- I have The Puddy Cat Dolls doing their stuff whilst I fiddle with the controls in order to answer.

Text messaging -- What is that? My daughter has lost the art of reasonable conversation and her spelling along with it. I always spend an unprecedented amount of time deciphering her words trying to make head or tail of it. I mean what does this mean: Mos cya L8tr @ cos, tb, lvya st lol? I need a book, it certainly isn't English! I lose patience just listening to the click, click, clickety, click as her fingers tap at breakneck speed on the keypad.

"Will you give it a rest you're jarring on my nerves!" Then it vibrates on the table which sounds a whole lot louder than it should. I ask her not to text me because if it's anything to do with picking her up from college -- by the time I've ingested and understood the words, I'll be late for sure!

Feeling better by the hour. I'll be fine before bedtime and then it will all start again tomorrow. Oh, I love my disease!


The Telephone Man!

Posted by CFMBabs , 13 November 2008 · 814 views

My telephone infuriated me so I thought I'd write a rhyme
The problem was it's ringing and couldn't get there in time
I had to do a marathon to answer an important call
But it just rang 5 times and that was it! --- that's all!
I complained to the company who gave a silly excuse
I told them 5 short rings for me were simply just no use
So they told me there was a charge, one I thought was free
My telephone bill is enormous without another fee!

For seven rings it will cost me ---- just two more rings I ask?
Well it's £7,50 per quarter, Ugh! even Dick Turpin wore a mask!
It's the rate my dear and if you don't want to pay
I cannot help you further so have a nice day!

Well, I gritted my teeth and grew ever mad
This was the worst excuse I've ever had
It's my own phone and I own the bell
What kind of service are they trying to sell?
My phone can ring just seven times and then that's my lot
For every ring thereafter the bill will start to tot
I rang the head office to explain my little plight
And spoke to a gentleman to put things right

You say you are disabled and the phone is far away?
Well move it closer to you and then went on to say
I wear spectacles because of my failing sight
And my optician charges me extra--- allright!
So why should you be different just because it's you
It's not my fault your telephone get's you off the loo

I could not believe his attitude, this guy was mocking me
If not enough to be disabled, he tells me he can't see
To mention his predicument, and to mine he compares
I think he needs binoculars and a few more extra pairs
He said the phone is a luxury, and I should be in awe
That 7 rings are chargeable and that is the law!

So I reported him imediately for his arrogant attitude
I was greeted with apologies for him being so rude
He really shouldn't have said those things
But all I'm left with is five short rings

The gist of it all is evidently clear
It kicks in when I'm not here
And if I can't make it to the phone
People think that I'm not home
My husband is sure I'm having an affair
Each time he rings I'm just not there!

Better get a mobile phone!

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