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CFM Babs from Chorley FM


If You Can't Beat Em -- Join Em

Posted by CFMBabs , 19 April 2007 · 742 views

I can honestly say that being home all day has it's good and bad points like anything else. First there's the boredom especially since I worked for a living for 27 years, was seriously ill for 4 years and gave up my business. I started work when I was 15 and if you work that one out you'll now know my age -- 46!
So in the last 4 years, two of which I was in hospital. I've now been home 2 years or 22 months 11 days --- How this is messing with my brain!
I've been trying new ways to motivate myself into doing something more constructive than daytime TV brainwashing and Boy does it! There's Soap Opera's of all descriptions, adverts for Soaps, people doing what they shouldn't be doing, Soap stars singing badly, Singers dancing flatfootedly, Members of the general public singing hoping for a contract and last but not least DIY programmes and Chat Shows of the worst family situations in the UK -- need I go on, all for entertainment! ... Or cheap TV
I've gotta get out of this hole I've dug for sanity's sake. I'm becoming one of the millions of bored housewife's switching on the TV and then talking back to the screen sometimes out loud --- what am I becoming for goodness sake?
I watched a programme yesterday that had me growling from my chair. It featured a couple buying a home in the country with the help of a TV presenter. It was obvious from the outset that the couple only wanted media exposure and not remotely anything to do with buying the house of their dreams. They sat in a room and literally verbally abused the decor, situation and price. I tell you if they'd have been in my house I'd have chucked them out with the scruff of the neck. I even found myself telling my hubby about it when he came home from work. " Ugh, so that's what you've been doing all day is it?" Is all I got from him.
So if you can't beat em -- join em! I'm doing my spot in the media. I have plenty of experience from all the shows I've watched on TV these last 2 years. I figured if they can get away with trash than so can I.
My radio show starts a week next Friday, perhaps housewives will be shouting at me from their armchairs but the beauty of it is -- I can't hear them!
Here's to fame-- fortune will have to wait


Our Little Lancashire Farm

Posted by CFMBabs , 16 April 2007 · 813 views

I've got on my little green wellies, my gloves, hat and spade
I'm going in the garden to the veggie patch I've made
I've never been greenfingered more like blue to be exact
The colour of my raynauds when it does it's unique act
I've never been a gardener, I should with the land I've got
But I've never had a thrill out of watching cow dung rot
I was born into farming but never took interest
Rather go out with the boys, I liked that the best

It's such a terrible pity I never listened well
My grandad the farmer gave all he could tell
He could grow a plant from nothing but tender loving care
And work the fields till sundown and I was never there
I never cared for tractors -- Ferrari's more my style
My grandad used to mock me with his red faced smile
You'll never drive a sports car until you drive my bess
He was talking about his tractor if you need to guess
It was pre 1940's started like a gun
But once it was going, all day it would run
It's thick white smoke a puffing as it chuffed across the land
And Uncle joe behind it giving grandad a hand

July was time to make the hay, the smell of new mown grass
And all hands to the deck we all mucked in on mass
Grandad on his tractor, Mum my Uncles and me
Getting in the hay bales, filling the barn before tea
Then out the following morning for the bales we didn't get
Those type of distant memories are the kind you don't forget
I'm smiling as I'm digging, my grandad would be so glad
I've finally taken an interest in something I always had
Funny how things come around and now I seem to enjoy
I always thought I shouldn't be a girl, instead a farmers boy

So I'm planting out my peas and beans and my cabbage too
No sign of numb fingers I'm feeling warm right through
I think I'm getting into this and thinking far ahead
I might just get rid of my car and buy a tractor instead
I never got my Ferrari, no sport cars of my dreams
I settled for a family and I grew up, so it seems
With only fading memories one's which did me no harm
Of day's spent in the fields on our little Lancashire farm


Grow Your Own!

Posted by CFMBabs , 15 April 2007 · 921 views

I don't know but there's something about having all the family home and then waving them off to school and work that makes me sigh with relief. It's not the prospect of daytime TV, nor the loneliness, it's the fact that all the time is to myself and I don't have any pressure to do anything. I guess it's the lazy attitude I've developed since becoming sick. Take this weekend for instance! We decided, or rather my hubby decided, to make a vegetable patch in our lawn. Okay, so practically thinking we could have our home grown produce which sounds idyllic, in reality it's hard work. We ended up with a 10 by 6ft oblong mound of earth
in which to grow, beans, peas and raddish, another oblong will be made next weekend for the rest of the veg. My daughter sulks that I'm not spending enough time in the house, my hubby say's not enough in the garden -- so I sit on the fence! I'm there trying to keep the calories in when an afternoon spent digging with a fork will have probably burned up the good I put in. Then I wonder why we're doing this? I look around the open fields and on the grand scale of things this is like a recreation ground for worms. The rabbits will have a glorious romp through the patch and the geese won't be able to quench their curiosity until they've destroyed every last plant. It will be a miracle if we ever see a pea or anything for that matter. And I know this will be the outcom as I bought a lovely cordyline plant, the type that looks a bit tropical. The man who sold it to me promised that geese would not eat it! Ugh!!! The plant stood for two days until one morning I happened to look outside and there was a goose chewing happily on the leaves, sad to say that all that's left is a twig with a few short leaves and looks more like a brush that would be used to clean the toilet. So much for geese not eating cordylines. What chance do we have when they'll eat something like that? I'd say absolutely none!
So apart from wasting a glorious sunny weekend in wellington boots and covered almost entirely in soil, we have a place to put our veg, or not, whatever! My hubby says he'll get some fencing but I know it will never happen and if he does the geese will simply fly over it ..... wing clipping is another story not to be missed!

Sanctuary and peacefulness returned. My routine wrecked and my day wondering what to do is just wonderful, at least I'm not being told to do anything. Good job I'm not healthy then! I guess I'd be doing 20 jobs instead of 10!
Hard work being a stay at home wife and mum, even harder with scleroderma.


First Radio Cook Show

Posted by CFMBabs , 14 April 2007 · 783 views

My first radio show will be aired on the 27th April and if I say that I'm nervous it would be a massive understatement.
My theme is upon healthy eating --- Dish of the Day! And for my first dish I plan to talk about a soup which will be made with ingredients purchased from our local market. I suppose I have to start with something simple and I only have around 15 minutes to deliver my recipe.
I think I might give out the recipe for Stilton and Leek soup -- one of my favourite soups when I was normal -- normal in the sense that I could eat perfectly well.
How ironic that I should be presenting a show entirely based on eating food which is now an impossibility for me! I guess it's my way of dealing with the situation.
All this put asside and I'm not thinking about it in the least, I'm quite looking forward to the challenge and since it's my idea I hope the listeners out there will enjoy the show. Of course there will be a little humor as it's not me to be serious for any length of time -- it's just how you incorporate it. I could be called the Manic Maid coz that's how I feel when in my kitchen at home, not in the least tidy and the flour --- well let's just say it's not always in the bowl.

Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it!


Coz Life's Like That!

Posted by CFMBabs , 11 April 2007 · 777 views

Well, I've made it through winter -- no mean feat you might say! But that's how you come to judge life with scleroderma -- another year, another challenge, another episode.
Life is just too short, so cramming as much into it as possible seems the logical thing to do. My brain works rather like my computer these days -- too much information and Wham! it crashes then shuts down for eons. That's me all over except I still function physically if not mentally. With my raynauds in remission for a few days, and I do say that cautiously, I managed to plant a few pretty flower seeds in my make-shift garden of sorts. Of course they're not pretty flowers as yet but one can only hope and in my situation it will be a miracle if they ever appear. The geese took an unhealthy interest in my greenfingered attempt and I'm sure they're waiting for the first green leaf to appear. I can imagine a goose running off with my first crysanthamum and me after it like a screaming ninja. They have just produced a new generation of two legged yellow feathered T Rex's and already they hiss just like mum and dad, so nine geese have become, well who knows as they haven't finished yet with three more geese on the nest we could quite easily double or tripple the gaggle and then that would be mayhem.
There's something within us all that makes even the toughest person wobble at the knees with a sigh of "Awww" at the sight of new born chicks waddling behind mum exept these are goslings but very cute none the same. My daughter as all "Aww'd" out if there is such a termination, every time they pass by! The postman "Awws" from a very safe distance behind the gate knowing that one foot on the other side will cause a tsunami of feathers and honking manic birds to attack, and that's just what they do -- will he ever learn?
The weather is unseasonal but very much to my liking. 70 degrees in April -- in England, never been known! It's set to reach the 80s in the next few days -- happy days indeed if you have Raynauds and why not feel selfish, anyone who has it will know exactly what I mean! Life's like that and so be it.
Having cleared out the last chocolate egg from the fridge, the reminants of tradition. My daughter's words ring in my ears and I constantly remind her rather cinically. "I'm too old for chocolate eggs, please don't buy me any" So in keeping with tradition I got all the eggs and she got cash, ever heard of having your cake and eating it? Well, that's one proverb that describes my daughter well, she took the cash and ate all the eggs and do I worry, nope, because somewhere in that grown up head of hers is the child I once knew and the cuddle on the couch at night with a mouthfull of chocolate was a sight I thought was lost in memory.
With that episode over with I'm now looking forward to summer -- Greece maybe!
If the weather stays warm here who knows, I might even give it a miss this year and stay home-- then again -- perhaps not!


Dreams Of Lazy Days

Posted by CFMBabs , 20 March 2007 · 805 views

First day of spring and yet another year has passed. I have so much to look forward to, namely the completion of this ###### house which has dominated our lives since my husband's mad cap idea to rebuild a cottage that never had so much as a lick of paint since 1660. True it was a mammoth task, and we sure have made hard work of the whole thing -- I swear if I hear my daughter say "I hate living here" one more time, I'll up and leave myself.
The onset of spring has me dreaming of long summer days in the garden just relaxing, but my life has never been so straight forward. We had visions of many days such as those when we began our task back in 2002 -- now 5 years on we're still holding out for that very thing.
We moved into our abode just before the winter holidays and since then all that has been achieved is, well promises of completion! These visions are all it's become and if we continue to dream that's all it will ever be.
Our discussions in the car this morning took up the entire journey. My husband revealing his plan for the spring break. "I'm goin- a paint the house" he exclaimed but "What about my wall" I snapped. There was a long pause and then he promised that it was a summer job. In the next breath he told me that it was too cold for me outdoors just yet --- "What?" I screamed. "So you expect me to build it for you?" He thought for a while so as to choose words not to inflame the situation. "No, but you can help". I tell you, it was lucky that the journey ended right there or else we may have ended up in a field.
I got home in less than a mellow mood. My daughter was waiting for me to take her to school -- this is my early morning job of the day, take my hubby to work then home to collect my daughter and take her to school. Later I'll be round at my parents such is my day. Somewhere in between I'll be feeding the geese, preparing a meal and doing the housework, but since my family think I do nothing all day, how do they think their dinner gets on the table or how they commute from A to B. Speaking of geese well, they're all in a state of madness on account of 4 of them sitting on about 15 eggs each. If they all hatch, we're in for a merry time but of course they all won't and I'm looking for some inspiration here!
We're on our 4th postman, the other 3 refused to deliver the mail here. I can't say that I blame them, I myself venture outdoors with a broom in hand ready to whack that gander when he charges and he's cunning with it. He's learned the art of ambush and nothing short of a commando he dashes from behind, wings flapping and honking. I, on the other hand, have perfected the art of a batsman and although this may seem a little cruel, I'd challenge anyone to stand up to a huge full grown gander. My aim has gotten better and I can defend myself with just one hit instead of having a fit and swinging the broom like I was being attacked by a swarm of bees. At this point the whole gaggle begin honking just like they're laughing at me and they probably are "No bread for you today!" as he returns to his group with a little hurt pride.
I have such fun I can hardly contain myself. A half finished house, psychotic geese a very humble and bemused little dog and a daughter who hates living at home. My hubby is the only thing that accepts our situation and as well he should since he caused it! Why did I ever listen to his plan of rebuilding a house when all we'd ever built before was a garden wall. Perhaps this year our dream will finally come true!


Global Warming

Posted by CFMBabs , 19 March 2007 · 878 views

Global warming! -----Where?. Climatic change is certainly happening but my views on the cause are very controversial. I'm a complete skeptic and don't believe what I'm being told. Sure we burn too much fossil fuels and we're all guilty of littering the planet -- there's just too many humans per square mile and too much technology. But my theory is this: I think global warming will happen anyway with or without our help. The dinosaurs would still be with us if nothing had changed although their demise was blamed upon an asteroid.
Looking back through time -- didn't we have an ice age? If global warming hadn't begun centuries ago, we'd be living in igloos and the poor souls with raynauds, well that doesn't bear thinking about.
The technology we have today wasn't around 2000 years ago, neither was the population explosion, can we blame the Romans for everything? Did they have congested roads, smoky factories and CFC's.... er! They probably did, so lets forget the Romans. Okay, let's have a go at the generations before that! Well, we were running around in loin cloths and making fire with two sticks -- could that contribute to global warming??? The truth is, we ain't making things any better but my theory is we would get global warming anyway.
The planet is running out of resources, do you think it's a ploy to make us slow down -- I do! Global warming is big business. Take the theory away and just imagine the job losses, revenue and the desire to use nuclear fuel. I think we're being groomed to accept the nuclear power age. It's clean -- supposedly and a cheaper alternative to fossil fuels.
Okay, I'm being very political here and not one of my normal blog posts but I feel so strongly about this issue and whether anyone agrees with me or not I won't change my stance. All I can say at this present moment, if there is global warming please hurry. It's 36 degrees here today, blowing a gale and snowing. I'm gonna fill my fire up with coal, turn up the heating and make my carbon footprint as the government likes to call it, upon this earth this afternoon. My Raynauds is in full bloom, my cough is never ending and I'm back to my obnoxious self worrying about something that effects us all. Why worry? Global warming is a high agenda, perhaps we'll all get some respite when it finally arrives.


She's My Baby

Posted by CFMBabs , 15 March 2007 · 788 views

It seems like only yesterday that I led my 3 year old daughter by the hand and into a room full of screaming rugrats and hyperventilating nursery assistants. The whole morning as I remember was upsetting and traumatic, not for my daughter... for me! She just let go of my grip and headed for the doll house in the corner with not so much as a sniffle. Me on the other hand, walked home with a lump stuck in my throat ready to burst at any moment and as soon as I got through my front door, I let go. My baby was at school and my house was empty for the first time in 3 years. Gone were the little giggles and constant need for attention -- gone too the mess all over the floor but most of all the empty feeling I felt as I wandered from room to room without my little shadow.
That was 13 years ago and what I have now is a complete reversal. My daughter led me by the hand into her chosen college and introduced me to the tutors. I suddenly felt like the child and that same lump returned to my throat -- my little girl is at college!
Time flies, it certainly does. When I think back it doesn't seem like 13 years have passed and it certainly doesn't feel like 16 years ago she was born. Yet when I look in the mirror and then at the photograph of us as a family in 1993, I shudder. Was that really me? My hubby had hair. I had natural colour and there in the middle was our offspring when she did everything we asked. Now she does entirely the opposite but lovely with it.
Walking around that college last night, I realised that it wasn't just me getting older but my daughter growing up into a young independent woman. My hubby ate his way around campus, every time I turned round he had something stuck in his orifice--first a burger, then a hot dog and then a piece of cake. Where was he getting all this stuff from? Then I realised that there was a department for food technology, my hubby took no time in finding that! "Honestly Steve, can you not stop eating for just one hour of the day!" He couldn't reply because his mouth was full of something else. I heard a grunt which was his attempt at an excuse but we walked on leaving him to dispose of a handful of wrappers and waddle on behind.
We made our way home and I shook my head in disgust as he pulled up beside the Pizza takeaway in town and duly went inside for a huge pepperoni. If this was his idea of a night out, what do I have to look forward to in old age? My daughter will have left home before I know it and I'll be stuck with Mr Hungry 24/7.
Ah! The comfort of my own home and the inviting warmth of our log fire awaited. He devoured his pizza and then went to the cupboard for antacids. I never like to say "I told you so", but I took great pleasure in reciting that phrase to him as he sat down rubbing his tum. My daughter was more concerned about the flatulence issue later on -- pizza always makes him play a few tunes and it's not pleasant.
"At least I don't have to sleep with him" she said looking directly at me.
"No, but guess who does?" I snapped and his face twisted into laughter as though it was quite humorous.
I went to bed early and was deep in slumber when he finally came to bed. If he was windy, I was too well gone to notice and I rose early this morning to the sound of manic honking geese.
My daughter's off to school this morning -- he's off to work and me ..... I'm sitting here typing this with one frozen finger. Back to reality..


Shopping On The Nhs?

Posted by CFMBabs , 12 March 2007 · 862 views

I'm almost up and running again, well up anyway! My nose continues to run and I have a nasty great cold sore right underneath my left nostril -- I'm sure in the old days I'd have been labeled a candidate for the Black Death, didn't they paint a huge X above the door? Anyway since my house needs a lick of paint, as long as they continue all round with it I have no worries.
The cough is still troublesome -- I hear my hubby moan and turn quickly over in bed when I go into spasm, like Yeah! I can help it Y'know.
This being ill isn't all it's cracked up to be and I don't do ill very well. As a patient I must be the model variety, as a moaner I must be a pain in the derrière. I just don't do ill!
Anyway to show the world I'm back, I've volunteered my services yet again -- going for my aunt this afternoon and treating her to an afternoon shopping -- there that should do it! If ever there was a cure, that sure would be it.. As my hubby said this morning "You love spending money don't you and wild horses couldn't hold you down on that one" Having thought for a while I came to the assumption that he was right, although I would never admit that in front of him when so many times I tell him that he's wrong. Funny housework doesn't have the same enthusiasm, that sure is a no, no when I'm out of sorts.
His last words before departing for work this morning were "Are you going to the doctor's for some more antibiotics?" I nodded my head unconvincingly. Truth is, I'd rather face an old grouchy teacher of mine than walk into her surgery again. My confidence is so low with my general practitioner it's like a premonition or de ja vu I know what she will say before she opens her mouth and it's always the same. Asking for antibiotics is like a lottery win and about the same odds! She doesn't give the blighters away that easily.
I'll give most things a miss today. Housework is way down on my priorities so is doing the washing. My therapy begins with purse in hand and a bag full of goodies. They should prescribe shopping on the NHS.
I look in the mirror, my hair looks like straw and I look like something out of a horror flick. Thank goodness for my daughter's make up, though this make over will be of catastrophic proportions. How to hide a cold sore and pale skin is yet to be explored. I'll start with my hair, a bit of gel will set it. Some nice perfume, antipersperant and my new jacket should do the trick. I ain't pretending that I'll look a million dollars but at least I might look like 50 pence, where right now I feel about 20.
A cup of coffee and I'll be off.


No Time To Be Ill

Posted by CFMBabs , 12 March 2007 · 767 views

One thing for sure about being ill, you have time to think! Not that I am a great thinker -- I go straight in feet first and no thought about anything, always willing to volunteer my services whatever the project.
I couldn't find anything remotely humorous lying in bed staring at the ceiling and counting the flaws in the plaster except perhaps the cough which produced nothing but a gurgling rattle and then a blast of wind at the other end, at least something was moving. I couldn't just lie there, but I simply had no choice.
My daughter piled up the magazines, what seemed like good stories to her were nothing short of crazy to me. Long gone are the days when I thought pop stars were the most important people on earth with their vital statistics listed in a paragraph below. Truth is I felt a bit vain, my vital statistics read in comparison giving them a run for their money at 46. Huh! I wonder if they'll have a figure like me then eh! Shame on myself for being so awful but I guess that's what it comes down to when you're sick -- anything to make you feel better.
At least I've had a short break from being concierge to my family. Their patience finally ran out and I found myself climbing out of bed for company. I could have died up there and rigamortis set in before they'd come upstairs and offer me a drink. What's that saying -- Out of sight, out of mind --- Yep! I put that one to the test. I was of course met with, "Oh there you are dear, come and sit beside the fire -- what's for dinner?" I scorned with the look that my daughter knows only too well and my Hubby quickly corrected his greeting. "I mean I'll make it, you just relax"
Well the relaxation lasted a grand total of 20 minutes when I heard my kitchen being destroyed, pots pans and lot's of little swear words all coming from my domain. The freezer was bleeping because of the amount of time he'd been scurrying around looking for frozen peas and then he was slamming the worktop with a couple of chops which were stuck together. In the end and after the worst abuse he could inflict, I heard the fish fingers land on the table along with frozen fries. My daughter groaned and whispered "Fish fingers....again"
I was tempted -- very tempted to just throw him out of the kitchen and start afresh but, no, I was ill and I'm staying right beside the fire. Once I enter the kitchen with any sort of input, he'll be off like a shot and in front of the football on TV and yesterday it was an all day affair. He was like a cuckoo jumping in and out of a cuckoo clock each time the crowd cheered with a frantic look on his face, "Have they scored?" By the time the match was over the hinges on the door needed oil and my hubby plasters with all the cuts he'd encountered not from the food but from ripping the door open too many times. What is it with men and football?
It hasn't taken long for me to return to my old ways -- the house simply does not run. I'm back with a vengeance and in my routine. I don't have time to be ill it's just an inconvenience. Still, I've weathered the storm and as I pour out my last dose of antibiotic -- Thank goodness for perseverance I say?

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