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CFM Babs from Chorley FM


Short Sentiment

Posted by CFMBabs , 08 November 2006 · 797 views

We complain when it's hot, complain when it's cold. We're never just right, are we?
Complain about summer and wintertime too. We're never just satisfied are we?
Just look around and then complain, the world needs putting to right
And if you're someone just like me, we have one thing in common,don't we?
Scleroderma, Raynauds too and all the trouble this brings, we're not alone trust me!

All these questions and worries, all the pressures and pain, funny things aren't they
All the doctors who shake their heads and don't know much, do they?
How would some folk like this life, they'd be fed up wouldn't they!
Or is it me, am I just daft, or am I sane, I don't know just ask me!
This pain feels real enough to me, so don't bother I won't tell thee!
I don't want sympathy a smile would be nice, a friendly face I ask you!
I'm still the same as I always was, my personality unchanged so like me!
I'll never give in or ask for help, so don't worry for me I beg you!
This disease won't win and I won't give in so just be my friend I need you!


If My Fingers Will Allow

Posted by CFMBabs , 08 November 2006 · 756 views

Oh no my fingers dead again as I fumbled with a dress
Let me help you darlin, the shopkeeper sighed in stress
I cannot get the ###### thing off it's lovely but a bit tight
And the zip won't move up or down Oh what a fight!
What's wrong with your fingers, the assistant grabbed my hands
Then began to rub them "They're white, oh, my lands!"
Do you have bad circulation or something else my dear
I couldn't wait to get away and flee right out of here.
In the end the dress came off and with it all my pride
I was so relieved to say goodbye and finally get outside.

My shopping trip in tatters, my fingers totally numb
And I felt like a real jerk, boy that move was dumb
Me trying on a skimpy dress when all I wear is jeans
I just wanted to be normal; for once a woman of means
I'm going to a wedding and I just won't look right
To have my picture taken in jeans would be a sight
And what would I do with my backpack, I'd look like a hiker had just dropped by
And crashed in on a wedding and be the, whose that guy!

I guess I'll have to give it a miss and stay home instead
And be the only person to miss the day they wed
I'll send them my little present, my best wishes and all the luck
And send a card with love for both and in the post I stuck
But my fingers wouldn't hold it, and down the road it flew
I stood and watched it tumble and didn't know what to do.
Oh! I screamed "I hate this disease", I nearly swore as well
So I began to chase it down the road and on a pebble I fell.
With bloody knees and dented pride I walked home, what a day!
My shopping trip a disaster and a card that blew away.

So much for the wedding, I'll make it somehow just see
So I sat and smiled and said out loud this always happens to me!
No pretty dress, no fancy card, elastoplast for my knees
And they say that bad luck usually comes in three's
My fingers warm around my cup, the tea will do the trick
And I'll go out some other day and another dress I'll pick.

If my fingers will allow!



Posted by CFMBabs , 08 November 2006 · 830 views

I get depressed, yes I do, oh! please not again
I look out of my window and all I see is rain
My life is just a merry go round, there's so much more I'm sure
I was always such a busy lass, a confident person,a do-er
And now I'm just a nothing, with nothing to do with her time
Except write upon the internet making up a silly rhyme

I've got a rare condition so does that make me unique
I don't have it tattooed on, don't advertise it so to speak
And if you didn't know me personally, well, you would never guess
That I lay in a hospital bed for two years in a terrible mess
Yes, I look quite wonderful, my face is shiny and taut
And there isn't any wonder drug although one is very much sought
You look younger every day, my dear, my what some would give for that
And I have a figure to die for at 46 I wish I was fat

A sigh tells me to buck up, get real, have a break, get a life!
And look at my life differently instead of toil and strife
I've got a world of love to share and the same is given to me
I have a lovely hubby and wonderful family
So what right have I to be depressed when I have riches like those
And continue being a sad old thing when this path in life I chose
I'm reaping all the good things of a previous life in health
And I'm counting all the good points adding to my wealth

I have nothing to be sad for, nothing to make me moan
I am surrounded by my family and at least I'm not alone
So when I think of sadness, I'll count my lucky stars
They don't sell this kind of happiness in any glass jars
So now I feel much better and the rain has finally waned
And I'm feeling on top of the world now that it's finally rained



Posted by CFMBabs , 07 November 2006 · 938 views

Spent the entire weekend burning rubbish, my contribution to global warming. It was nice and warm though and it beat the **** out of staying indoors.

The TV's full of seasonal ideas and everywhere you look there's a reminder that 'Silly season' will soon be upon us. Hey, what happened to Autumn? It's just skipped past these days and the trees, well you hardly notice the change anymore. Fact is they don't notice it either! The seasons are upside down just like me!

When I was a kid, please I do still remember that far back, I remember November being so cold that you could see your breath indoors. No, we didn't have the luxury of central heating. More like a single coal fire and we lived and breathed in front of it. I got undressed at night, dressed in the morning and toasted bread on that little hole in the wall.

I remember jumping up and down with feet so cold they ached and a face as red as a baboon's bottom to match. November was winter and December was like the picture on most seasonal cards.

The milk was delivered to the door in pint glass bottles by a man in a white overall and peak cap. In winter the milk was cold and creamy, in summer it was yuck!
My gran raised her bread in a tin bowl with a damp cloth draped over the top and when she cooked it, the smell beckoned you indoors no matter where you were or what you were doing. And the first slice of warm bread in your hand with creamy butter running down your palm was a moment to die for.

The smell drifting through the kitchen from my gran's cooking in winter was worth bottling, it never was the same in summer.

My gran had the perfect answer for Raynauds. I didn't have the condition then but I can almost invisage her dragging me back indoors to collect two hot potatoes to place in my pockets, that was her remedy for cold hands. And she always muffled me up so tight, scarf, hat, heavy jacket, boots with itchy socks and an equally itchy jumper under all the outside layers. I was so stiff, I walked round like R2D2 before he was ever thought of, but guess what? I was lovely and warm!

The school plays were always eagerly awaited and my gran's defining moment was when I played a character who sung one of the songs completely on my own in front of an adult audience. Okay, I was the front end of a cow but that didn't matter and to me well, I was just grateful that I wasn't playing the rear. My gran was so proud as I sung 'Silent Night' I got an extra special treat on the way home that night.

I miss those days terribly. I miss my gran, her ways, her cooking, her smile just everything she stood for, and if she could see me now she'd wrap me up with love.
My daughter knows my gran although she died long before she was born. Her memory lives on in me and hopefully through my daughter too.

Memories are a such wonderful thing!


Guy Fawkes Night

Posted by CFMBabs , 03 November 2006 · 1,090 views

What is global warming? In fact, where is global warming? It's early Nov and already the temperatures have fallen way below zero.
Today is Nov 4th and traditionally, as most Brits know, it's Guy Fawkes Night! Actually, Guy Fawkes Night or bonfire night is the 5th but such a celebration would not be fitting for a lazy Sunday.
Guy Fawkes was the geezer who tried to blow up the houses of parliament in the 1600s. Had he succeeded it would have been the greatest acheivement at the time. We still have the same problem today. Funny how events repeat themselves.
This is the time of year when self respecting individuals turn arsonists in their own back yard and burn almost anything. No wonder the fire service is on high alert!
The kids all get to make a Guy!
The event will involve traditional foods such as Treacle toffee, Parkin ( a dark treacle, oatmeal and ginger cake), potatoes cooked in their skins with butter or cheese, hot dogs, burgers, black pea soup, Hot pot (layered meat and potato dish) and a hot fruit punch.
We'll be heading for an organised display. I've been to many unsafe events where friends have attempted to emulate the millennium celebrations, only to burn down the shed and have sky rockets shooting through the neighbours' greenhouses. One year in particular, a friend melted all his window frames such was the intense heat from the fire. Needless to say, a visit from the fire service was required and it all came to a damp unceremonious end!
I'll be there tonight freezing my toes off in a field not far from here. I'll be rubbing my fingers and jumping up and down to keep warm, am I mad? Anyway, I'll keep up the tradition as usual. The fireworks will be nice though and when finally allowed close to the fire, I'll be first in the que.
Crazy Brits!


December Holidays

Posted by CFMBabs , 31 October 2006 · 818 views

December will be upon us and the festivities begin
The stores are full of glitter, every one you go in
I'm thinking about the turkey, I'll need a whopper this year
Coz, I've got the family coming, it's my turn here
I remember about the last time, what a disaster it turned out to be
Auntie Mary drunk as a lord and knocking over the tree
Then there was the pudding my mother took care of that
But left it on the stove too long, and in the front room sat
The kitchen was full of acrid smoke the pudding was on fire
And I was running up and down, the situation dire

Uncle John was red in face, jolly and quite merry
He's drunk a bottle of cheap red wine and now he's at the sherry
Singing songs from way back when, the party's in full swing
Whoever in their right minds told Auntie Mary to sing
The cat ran under the table, the dog chased it under the tree
There was string and paper everywhere, as far as you could see
Poor puss was spitting and hissing, the dog was having fun
That tree was sure to go over before the day was done

It's three o clock and now's the time, the Queen goes on TV
And all the family settle down, this woman they want to see
My Uncle sneers in a drunken state, bet she's not having sprouts
She'll be having caviar, someone from the back shouts
She spoke about world peace and other things as well
But missed the bit in the middle coz Uncle John fell
Yeah, she'll be having a grand affair with servants to serve her dish
And served upon a silver plate with her every need and wish
And I bet she talked about the starving, and all those in toil and need
And what she'll have this afternoon will be nothing but lavish greed

The paper hats from crackers are gracing every head
And every bad joke ever thought are drunkenly being read
They're all sat round the table waiting for the feast
And I can't get the turkey out, this year it's just a beast
The legs are stuck in the oven as I push and pull the bird
And finally at the table, the loudest cheer could be heard
And what about the pudding? You thought I'd forgot about that
Well it's gone to make a special treat for a daft dog and hissing cat
The festivities now over and everyone heads for home
And finally we're quiet by ourselves and drinks alone
It wasn't such a bad day, everything went just fine
But someone can do it next year, they aint coming to mine!

That was 4 years ago
Watch this space!


Stealing Trash

Posted by CFMBabs , 30 October 2006 · 803 views

We live in an area which unfortunately suffers with fly tipping. Let me explain what fly tipping is: It's total ignorance and idleness of the general public to place household rubbish in a trash can or take it to a land fill site. The rubbish can contain anything from everyday trash to garden rubbish and even kitchen appliances. The local government here are so tired of this problem that they have placed signs in the area warning of a £20,000 fine if caught dumping trash. Does that stop the problem? No!

The damage this does to the countryside and the environment, makes me seethe with anger. Animals suffer from this total stupidity and the lovely countryside suffers from litter and unsightly items.

So why am I telling you this? Well, I have an amusing, albeit sad story of an event that happened just this weekend.

My husband was standing in the yard looking at the roof, note I said looking and not doing! There was a huge clatter on the very bad bend we have just at the end of the drive. A huge 4x4 car was throwing bags of rubbish out of the window. By this time I was in the yard also watching the event take place. My mouth was wide open with disbelief that anyone could be so blatently ignorant as to tip rubbish from their car! My hubby raced down the drive to try and note the registration plate of the vehicle but it was going too fast.

The task which followed was a dice with death on a very bad bend. My hubby began to pick up all the rubbish, which by now was blowing all over the road and into the field. He picked up two plastic supermarket bags full of paper and fast food wrappers, and brought them to the house. We know what to do with them and the scheme always works.

Ignorant people are also ignorant about personal details such as letters with addresses on them or credit card details, plastic card details and even bank statements, which I find incredible. Anyway, just as we thought, all the details we needed were contained in the rubbish.

The trash belonged to a lady with horses. We knew that from the receipt for stabling and horse feed. She had several credit slips in her name and the best one of all, her stable's telephone number on a letterhead.

My hubby went indoors and rang the stables immediately. A man answered the phone and my hubby asked to speak to the lady on the letterhead.

"Oh she's not my wife or anything," he said. " She just pays me rent for the stables. What is it you want with her?"

My hubby began to explain to a rather horrified man and he agreed with us that she should be held accountable for her actions. I told my hubby to ask if a message could be passed on to this lady, asking her to come back for her belongings or else we'd turn her in. The man on the phone laughed and said he'd certainly pass on that message as it seemed very humorous to him seeing this lady grovel back here for her rubbish.

It was late afternoon and we decided to go out for a drive. When we returned there was a huge notice stuck on my trash can. "Sorry for the trouble caused, it was my little girl who threw out the rubbish," it said, Yeah right!

My hubby happened to look in the bin and laughed out loud. "She's taken the entire contents of our rubbish," he said. Her rubbish was still in the barn. Amongst that rubbish were food leftovers and horrible medical items, not to mention empty tins of cat and dog food.

My bin is much lighter now and it serves that woman right for tipping outside my home. She can come back next week for her stuff and I'll get my bin emptied again. Crime certainly doesn't pay.


The Dentist Appointment

Posted by CFMBabs , 29 October 2006 · 793 views

Under any circumstances, good or bad, I hate going to the dentist! I know I'm not alone with this one. Go on, admit it, you hate it too! Well, I have a toothache so what else can I do but see Dr. Lecturous because that's exactly his attitude.

"Been at the chocolate again, have we?" he sneers at me. Ugh clever clogs!

"Actually, no just a lollipop!" I said, afraid to admit the crime.

"Even worse," was his response.

Why is my life revolved around being told how and what I should eat?! After all I can't eat very much at all and any food passing my lips is an achievement.

So here goes. "Open wide," as he peers down on my face. Does that light have to be so bright?

"Mmm, I can see the problem," and with that hits the tooth like he's playing a xylophone.

"Ouch," I scream.

"That's the critter," he hit it again.

"Okay, okay, you got it, please don't hit it again."

Out came the needle and in went the stufff that makes you talk like Donald Duck for the rest of the day. Then the dreaded high pitch whir of the drill. At this point the nurse sticks a rod in my mouth and stinks my tongue and cheeks up into it. Slup, slup!

There's bits flying everywhere and I don't know whether to swallow or wait until she stinks it up into the tube.

"There, all done," he says triumphantly!

Now I'm really in a state. I have to go shopping for my dad, and at the counter I say, "Two piyesz pluplease."

"What?" says the shopkeeper!

To **** with that, I thought and I just pointed to two pies. I wanted other things too so I pointed to my mouth and explained that I'd been to the demphist!

She laughed and nodded. "Went there last week," she said. "Cost me a packet."

I got home and really wanted a drink. I felt like I was wrapping my lips round a bucket instead of a glass, and then I poured the drink all over me. To **** with that an all, I'll wait until the numbness wears off.

At least my toothache went. I wondered why I should spend so much money, time and care of them when I no longer need them. Vanity, I suppose. No more lollipops for me then.



Posted by CFMBabs , 28 October 2006 · 865 views

That pain in my stomach ached for me to go
I'd put it off for so long, but I just had to blow
I nervously sat on the toilet but nothing to report
So this little toilet trip was another to abort
I went to my doctor, she sighed and almost broke with a smile
But I'll tell you something honey, It hurts when you ain't been for a while
How come you're quite happy to prescribe something for any situation
But laugh at the prospect of a script for constipation
She gave me some bullets and a bottle of of something sweet
I wasn't sure what to do with them, do I insert them or eat!

I sat alone on the toilet, everyone was out
I strained with all my might and even gave a shout
But nothing was appearing the pain was getting worse
And soon I'll need an enema from the district nurse
I sat and watched the TV and all of a sudden came the pain
I knew I had to move quite fast, I needed to go again
The traumatic events that followed were worth it I confess
Out came the little blighter what a wonderful success!

The smile upon my face told of the extreme delight
I felt so relieved and happy and about a stone light
It's funny how such a natural thing can make you feel so ill
When straining won't relieve it without the aid of a pill
I skipped around the housework, I felt as light as a feather
And I felt as fresh as a daisy in the glorious sunny weather
I guess the moral of the story is, keep yourself fit and eat yourself well
Or you too will be in the bathroom with a tin of lubricant gel!


Getting Better!

Posted by CFMBabs , 27 October 2006 · 830 views

I did a spot of reminiscing last night, not of the good old day's, no sir not at all, more like the bad day's. I'm referring to just a couple of years ago when my life was so much different then.
The summer photographs fell out of the cupboard as I was looking for something else. I sat down with them on my lap and looked through every single one of them. The first packet contained all the pictures from Crete in early July, our first trip of the year. I looked pale, thin and like someone who'd just gone through the mill, of course, I had! The last two years could have been the end of me and at times that's how bad I felt. Endless bouts of surgery, pain, sickness, hospitalization and being artificially fed. At one point, I had so many tubes, wires and gadgets attached to me, I could have been in a horror movie. Then there were uncertain thoughts of the future for both myself and family.
There's not much that I do actually remember, lying in that hospital bed. I do remember some bad things but I was asleep for most of it, thankfully!
Boy! Did I really look as bad as that? When I came across a picture of myself on the balcony of our hotel, I shuddered, took a deep breath and quickly moved on to the next one which was equally as bad, and I thought I looked good on that trip!
I opened another packet, this time it was Crete in late July, our second trip! I looked much better I thought, but still not running on all engines. I still looked rather pale, thin and had come through the mill and out the back door. I had a slight tan in some of the pictures which made me look like a mummy, the Egyptian type, and they'd been dead for two thousand years! Ugh! I moved on swiftly to the next batch. This time was more recent, a trip to Skiathos in late August. One by one I looked at every photo, "I'm a Babe" I thought! I looked so much better. I was tanned, slim, and having the time of my life. That girl was ready for a good time, and I had! If I put the three packs of pictures together, you'd hardly realise that I was the same person. There I was staring at my recovery with every picture, a kind of diary in paint and colour.
I guess the moral of the story is: You can get better no matter how bad you feel. I thought my world had ended, that I would never recover and that scleroderma had finally got the better of me. "Look at me now" I thought! I beat that and I'll beat it again. I feel on top of the world and as for other problems, well, I still have my feeding tube but, hey! It's keeping me alive! I can still moan but it's more to myself these day's, and if I'm feeling blue, I'll just get those pictures out and take a look in the mirror!

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