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CFM Babs from Chorley FM


Lucky If I Get Old

Posted by CFMBabs , 17 October 2006 · 943 views

A pain shot in my mouth, "ouch" I've broken a tooth
I was sucking on a popsicle when crack it went, "Strewth"
I spat it out to my daughter's horror. My husband gave a cry
That's coz you've got wooden teeth and I gave out a sigh
It isn't enough to have sclero, but I'm falling apart as well
Soon I'll be wailing " Unclean" as I wave my warning bell
My hair is going thinner, my teeth are falling out
My skin is getting tighter, my lips I cannot pout
The greyness is taking over, I'm begining to look like mum
And I can't chew on anything, I suck it with my gum.

They don't have a cure for sclero and they don't have one for age
I guess it's just another chapter and I'm turning another page
I think I'm half way through the book, the rest is there to read
Another 20 pages and false teeth and specs, I'll need
For my eyesight is also failing, is there no end to my spare parts
And I'm joining the old generation before it even starts
The bathroom is full of hair dye, the comb is full of hair
I used to have thick brown locks and now it isn't there
I hope I don't go bald as well, now that would be unfair
No hair, no teeth and blind as a bat, would be too much to bear

My bones are creaking like an old wooden door
My neck is stiff and I can't look around no more
My sex life is a memory, I'd rather have a sweet
For me to get excited would be a proper feat
Gone are the days of passion along with all the zest
I take so long to get in bed, I get out again for a rest
My hubby gets all heated his anticipation begins to surge
But with all my layers of clothing he finally loses the urge

I dread the day but I'm sure it will come
When not only my fingers will be numb
I'll have my teeth in a cup of solution
And my eyesight will only have one conclusion
I'll look like my granny, be permanently cold
But I'll think myself lucky if I get that old


Coincidental Scleroderma

Posted by CFMBabs , 15 October 2006 · 878 views

When I look back over my 46 years, I suddenly realise that, I either have a very good memory, or a very boring life. I mention the boring bit very loosely as I for one don't think my life is anything like boring.

I can't begin to put into context any one part of my life, most of it fortunately, has been very happy, or is it that I don't remember the bad times, whatever!

I remember one particular episode of my life being pretty wild. I was in my early twenties. I had a penpal-an American guy from Mobile. I loved to write and as it happened, so did he. He was studying here in England and I became his English friend, not girlfriend I have to add. He was residing in Canterbury and I lived here in the north some 300 or so miles away. We wrote almost weekly and when the winter holidays came round I invited him to stay at our humble abode, to which he agreed. It was 1982.

It was Dec 23rd and I was waiting for him to arrive at the train station. It was one of the worst winters on record and everywhere was covered in snow. I stood on the platform at Manchester Victoria, freezing my fingers off and jumping up and down to keep warm, when this figure appeared in front of me. I knew him instantly. He was extremely pleasent, nervous but curteous and was wearing the brightest heaviest jacket I'd ever seen. Anyway, after our initial greetings we caught a train to take us to my home.

The fire was built up high and my mum had made a meal for his arrival. He was so cold that he could hardly speak and he had the most dreadful head cold ever. We sat him beside the fire and my parents made such a fuss of this young man from Alabama almost treating him as a son. He spent the entire holidays with us and when it was time for him to leave, we asked him to stay in the Spring.
We continued to write throughout the year and when the Spring holidays came, he returned to us in Lancashire. This time he was more comfortable having met my parents previously. We went on several trips, to the English Lakes, York and the seaside. He told me that he intended to return home soon but he was hoping that we could still be penpals across the miles. We did just that!

The years passed, we wrote less frequently but kept in touch occasionally. Then I met my future husband, it was 1985. I didn't write again, and I think he understood because he had other commitments too. The years rolled on.

It was 1997, I got my first computer. I had a child and a wonderful hubby. I'd had a particulary tough year having just recovered from pneumonia. The next few years, my health deteriorated. I'd always had Raynauds and it seemed to be worsening as was my swallowing too. I was being passed backwards and forwards, different hospitals, different doctors, one misdiagnosis after another. I ran my own business, which against all the odds became sucessful, and I continued with my wilderness years as I call it until I was diagnosed with scleroderma in 1999. I often thought about my American penfriend and what he'd be doing now, but I didn't like to contact him as I knew nothing of his present life.

I was playing around with my computer at work one day when an employee asked me the name of my condition. She nodded and asked me if I'd been on the internet to find out more about the condition! I'd never been one for tinkering around the net, especially to learn of my fate but I typed in 'Scleroderma' all the same. A list of headings came up on my screen, one being ISN. I spent the entire afternoon browsing the site, then I joined. It was the year 2000.
I began to write posts, read all about the condition and spent more time on line than ever before. Then one day I was going through the list of members and their stories, when I came across a name I knew very well. "No, it can't be" I thought but I continued to read on. I was sure, it was my American penfriend.

I nervously typed out an email and pressed 'send' with an apology for my contact, just in case it wasn't him. The weeks went by and I checked my mail box daily but there was no reply. I put it down to contacting the wrong person and thought it would have been too good to be true anyhow.

I arrived home from a particular taxing day at work. I'd been so busy that I'd never been near the computer for days. That night, however, I needed to do some accounting so I switched it on. My mail box alerted me that I had email, probably spam I thought. I looked in amazement as a name I once knew came up. It began with, "I can't believe it." It was my penfriend! I was so excited, my fingers couldn't type fast enough and I returned a reply with my disbelief that Scleroderma had affected both our lives in some way or another. He wrote back quickly and began to tell me the story of his girlfriend who had died with Scleroderma and that's why he wrote the story on the ISN website. He couldn't believe the coincidence and neither could I. How can it be that such a rare condition had touched his life twice.

We still write occasionally to each other and if it had'nt been for ISN we would never have found each other again after 20 years. If that's not a coincidence then show me one better.

Scleroderma tears your life apart but it can also bring old friends back together even if it's only through pen and paper.


I Can't See That!

Posted by CFMBabs , 14 October 2006 · 839 views

A visit to the Optician made me realise just how much I need spectacles. It wasn't quite like "Read the top line of letters on the wall", more like "Can you see the wall, dear?"

I read A, O, T, X. Then stuck my neck out as far as it would stretch, screwed up my eyes and then recited letters that were never on the board to begin with. "Mmmm, you do indeed need spectacles" said my Optician who's age is about 90 and still has 20, 20, vision. It may be no surprise to learn that his name is Mr Young.

I've been going to the same place since I was five years old. I was amazed that he continues to remember me, although he did scorn me for not keeping regular appointments, it was 1992 since my last visit! I could hear my husband and daughter outside the room. Hubby was talking on the mobile to someone about goats, and I was straining to hear how many he was agreeing to buy, at the same time Mr Young was dropping various lenses into a binocular type contraption that I was wearing on my face.

"Is that any better" he asked! I just kept saying "Yes" not realising how many different one's he'd tried in there. I heard my hubby say "Well, I'll take them all."

By now I was worried and not listening to Mr Young who had just gone through the entire range of lenses and was moving on to double glazed, when I finally said "That's okay, I can see, it's a miracle." He asked me how I'd made my way into town today and I wondered if he meant, how I'd got there at all. Are my eyes really so bad? In fact, he was asking a general question and I pointed to the door. "My hubby and daughter are outside and I came with them".

He smiled and then inquired about my health noting that I was connected to a rucksack with my enteral feeding in it. Of course, I didn't go through my entire history since 1992. We'd have been there till he retired or drew his last eternal breath but I gave him enough to go on with.

I came out with a prescription and imediately challenged my hubby about the conversation I overheard. "Don't worry there's only 3 and one is a kid."

I was called to another room full of spectacles and my daughter got very excited. I began to try on numerous pairs and none of them really suited me but I settled for a humble pair almost frameless so they don't look too obvious. My daughter loved all the designer pairs and as a result, decided to arrange an eye test appointment for herself. I can't believe she actually wants spectacles. She's never had an eye test except when she was younger and she had almost perfect vision. Anyway, I couldn't see any reason why she shouldn't have another test just in case.

My spectacles will take one week to make, then I'll join the realms of forty somethings with eyewear. I reckon it's a sign of getting old. What next, false teeth! I already colour my hair. Saggy arms, bingo wings as my daughter calls them, everything going south.

Not much to look forward to, getting old but y'know what! if I make it, it'll be a personal acheivement for me.


It Will All Be Worth It In The End!

Posted by CFMBabs , 11 October 2006 · 985 views

A visit from the local building regulations officer had us ripping down the kitchen and re-arranging every corner of the house. What for?, you might ask. Well I
have a solid fuel cooker, AGA, and the flue system was in the wrong place according to building regulations. The problem was if we moved it where it was supposed to be, it would be coming up through the stairs. The only logical place after that was on another wall with the flue coming through the bathroom and out the roof. You have no idea the trouble this has caused! I now have a kitchen smaller than before,or so it appears, and a husband so whacked he doesn't know what day it is. My daughter pulled her face and disappeared at the very sight of work and went back to the tin can (trailer) to save her nails.
The last thing I needed was a major setback like this. I have family coming over for the December holidays. All 10, perhaps 12 of them, and all they'll be sitting on is cupboard carcasses at this rate. My Aunt complains at everything, she'll be in her element with this situation. The way it's going, all they'll get is a ham salad,
turkey if they're lucky. And there's me thinking I could show off my new home this year, what a disaster!
On a lighter note, we did have a few holidays to Greece in the summer. The only summer I saw. We've been flooded out more often than not this year and it
would have been more suitable for us to build a boat, never mind a house. But then again, knowing our luck it would have sunk long before now.
One thing I have to be grateful for is the freedom I have this year. Freedom from being an inpatient at the hospital where I spent much of the last two years. The
very mention of hospital gives me goosebumps and shivers. I sure ain't going back there no time soon!
By now you've probably guessed that we're building a house--well renovating actually. It all began 4 years ago when we inherited the family farm. The mere
mention of this to people has them mentally visualising a picturesque scene of cows in the field, chickens in the yard and a quaint old English cottage with a
backdrop of rolling hills. Oh no! Not at all. The farm has been neglected, run down and overgrown for the best part of 10 years when my parents and two
uncles lived here. The farm has been in the family for over 100 years and I had some very sweet childhood memories of cows in the field, chickens in
the yard ...... you get the idea! My grandparents grew greenhouses full of tomatoes, cucumber, grapes and flowers. I spent many missing hours and many
tummy aches due to sitting in the greenhouse scoffing grapes and tomatoes in handfuls, then emerge with the biggest bunch of flowers for my mum. My
grandfather was so irate one day, that he chased me up the field, fell in a cowpat and gave up the chase after he realised that his 50 years seniority were no
match for my six year old youth. Later I was to help with haymaking age thirteen. I drove the tractor whilst my uncles loaded up the trailer with bales of hay. I thought I was the greatest driver in the world until I tipped the whole lot over after being too confident on a bend.
The summers were much longer then, or is that just my age! July and August was hot and September was Autumn. October and November wet cold and
blustery. Now we hardly know what season we're in. The whole weather has gone crazy. I mean tornadoes in Lancashire! Give me a break.
We lived in the Farmhouse and cottage, both of them built in 1660. I know that because there is a stone slab right over the doorway saying so. W.W 1660 I
never knew what the W.W stood for until a local farmer told me that his farm also had the same initials engraved in stone over his doorway too. They are the initials of the builder he told me, so I guess, mystery solved. The years took toll on the properties. After my grandparents died, my uncles and parents lost interest and the farm deteriorated. The houses were so old that rot set in the old beams, small repair jobs became huge projects and before anyone realised it, the whole place was derelict. My uncles died one after the other in a strange kind of way,like they just gave up. My parents became too old to care, and the house was plunging further and further into a point of no return. They left four years ago for an apartment which is small but warm and well managed. They often remark that it was the best thing they ever did. The best thing that I could have ever done was walk away and carry on with my life, being married with one child and living in a decent house in town. That's just me though, headfirst and into trouble. So we sold our home, moved into a trailer and began to rebuild the farm I once loved.
If I turn back the clock, I can see how far we've come in the last four years when all we seemed to do was demolish and rebuild. When I think of all the hours
we spent just cleaning bricks and drying out oak beams, it makes me wonder. The bricks had to be graded, which were suitable to put back and those which
were not. I pulled out numerous bricks with paw prints in them and someone's finger print, they were all handmade. The beams all had the carpenters mark
engraved into the wood, and I could smell cow dung in the walls of wattle and daub. We've painstakingly returned it to it's former glory with some modern
materials as well, and the second stage will begin next year which is another huge project and one I'm dreading undertaking.
If I had a penny for ever time I heard the phrase "It will all be worth it in the end" I'd be almost a millionaire. As it happens I never will be. This place swallows
up cash before it's earned and it's way above budget already. Mmmm will it be all worth it in the end! Only time will tell but I'll let you know when we get there.


A Day In The Life Of!

Posted by CFMBabs , 11 October 2006 · 814 views

They usually say, the older you get, the wiser! I would like to put that to the test in a laboratory since my Dad seems to defy all odds.
He's 78, or is he 79! Who knows? He doesn't and neither do I. He lost his birth certificate along with his driving licence when I was a kid and now he doesn't even know what year he got married, except of course there's me and by doing a rough calculation I make it 47yrs 2 weeks. My mum has slight dementia but is very silent with it. She's never been a great conversationalist. Partly I think, to not being able to get a word in between me and my Dad who never shut up, you may have already realised that from my posts.
I had 50 million messages on my phone the other day, well okay, 20 million! All from my Dad. He's bought himself a camcorder, don't ask why, he ain't got a computer or the slightest idea how to work the ###### thing. He just keeps saying it goes on the telly, TV to you and me! Never mind the inadequacy of being able to use it, he didn't know where the batteries went, you know you're on a loser then.
My Mum just sits there taking it all in, smiling until she has a cramp in her cheeks waiting for my Dad to put her on the telly, as he says. What a situation, he'll never make photographer of the year at this rate!
I'm taking time out this morning. I have a delivery of radiators for my central heating arriving but they never come when it's convenient do they! All they said was, it would be between 8am and 5pm, who are they kidding! You watch 4.55 they'll be offloading after me sitting around all day keeping the geese up the field and the dog locked up. I've gone through 2 loaves of bread already and it's only 9am! And then there's the phone call, it's my Dad. " What time are you coming over. I need some mini tapes for my machine" He means his camcorder. And on top of all this, we have an appointment with a teacher from my daughter's school at 3pm concerning her mathematics. She's just like me in that department. Adding up, taking away and Algebra, what in the **** do you need Algebra for!
I managed fine with a calculator when I ran my own business, and I got through doing three monthly VAT returns, not to mention the Tax, National insurance and the staff's weekly salary. I keep telling her not to worry but my hubby is a genius in the field of Maths and thinks that she should be the same. She's not! Ask him to set the video and he's clueless and common sense he has none, so what's the use of being numeric if you can't set a video to watch your favourite soap!
Anyway, that's my day pretty much mapped out. Wait for delivery, get tapes for my Dad's camcorder, appointment at the school, go to my parents for a lesson in the use of photographic equipment and finally make evening dinner. I'd rather be at work. Y'know, somehow life was easier then, at least I had a set menu.



Posted by CFMBabs , 11 October 2006 · 881 views


Gee I feel so bored today, I wish something good would occur
There's nothing on the TV and no juicy gossip to share
Oh, I'm not a gossip mind you, I just like a little chat
I like to talk about nothing but a bit of this and that!
I used to be so busy and time just seemed to fly
But now I'm busy watching, time just passing by
I have a daily list of jobs, I'm like a robot programmed to clean
And no matter how I do it, it's still the same routine

I need to break this system and go and do some work
And when I mentioned it to hubby, he simply went berserk
How can you hold down any job, you wouldn't last the day!
You'd cause so much damage, you'd owe them a week's pay
I knew that he was right of course, I'm permanently dropping the dinner
And keeping warm with layers of clothes, that hang off me coz I'm thinner
You'd be a liability, the office jerk, the ice woman, the freak
And you'd look a proper idiot wrapped up just like a geek

So much for my confidence, sclero takes that away from you too
I used to run my own business with so much work to get through
I used to employ several people, I had so much on my plate
The Tax, Insurance and VAT were jobs I used to hate
I used to be respected, a businesswoman with zest
I made it in a man's world and always came out best
I stood my ground with management, protected all my staff
Had fun with all my workers, oh how we used to laugh

Then one day like a bolt from the blue, I was struck down with this curse
I never thought life could be so bad, in fact it was much worse
I had to give up my business and my world changed from that point on
And everything I worked for suddenly vanished and it was gone
I spent so long in hospital I nearly had to pay them monthly rent
And flowers, cards and medicine couldn't replace the life that went

So ask me if I'm feeling down or if I feel my life will end
The answer is no way, not I, I won't lie down my friend
Coz what's the use of worrying it never put's things right
You have to take each day at a time prepare yourself to fight
And yes, I know how hard it is to face each coming day
Not much to look forward to, and not much else to say
The lack of understanding is sometimes hard to take
No proper diagnosis for each and every ache
The doctor who shakes his head coz he don't really know
And makes you feel a nuisance each time you have to go

I hope they eventually find a cure then we'd all be well together
And not worry about the clothes we wear to face the bitter weather
We'd eat the thing's we dare not try, live our lives to the extreme
And be the life and soul again, how distant that life may seem
So hang on in there please keep strong and keep an open mind
One day in the distant future a cure they may find
And I'll go back to my business and go about my life
But just for now I'm happy just being a mum and wife
You see, I'm not boring and I shouldn't feel so blue
Coz although I lost my business, I still have all of you!


Dog'gone, I'm In Trouble Again!

Posted by CFMBabs , 10 October 2006 · 780 views

The saying "It could only happen to me" describes my situation very well. The older I get, the more it happens, or is it just me! Who knows. But someone, somewhere is having a laugh spiritually.
Yesterday was just one of those days! If it could go wrong, it would, if I could get it wrong I could, you get the picture!
I picked my daughter up from school as usual. There'd been a few mishaps during the day, far too many to mention. Firstly, I'd forgot to wash my daughter's pants, boy! I was in trouble. Tonight is my support meeting and my daughter enjoys going with me, it's more like a night out with the girls than a group of sickly folk. Anyway I got the usual " You never do anything for me" and a face like thunder to match. Don't get me wrong, she's a great kid, honestly, so loving, gentle, kind, what more can I say except she's a teenager. Well we arrived home and as I pulled up to the gate I saw the next door neighbour coming down the hill. Now when I say next door, I mean kind of next door because she's way down the lane from me but on the next farm. We've known these people all our lives since we all kept our farms through the generations. This lady is genetically challenged in the nicest possible way. I'm not a tall person by any means, at 5ft 1.5 I nearly qualify for a festive elf but my neighbour is much smaller than me, in fact I can see right over her head quite clearly. So now you're wondering why I'm being so descriptive of this lady. Well, she breeds Great Dane's, does very well at Crufts I believe. When you see her walking down a hill with those two dogs on either side, you wonder who is taking who for a walk! A little head bobbing up and down and two great hounds trotting side by side. She called to me as I opened the gate and it was only courtesy for me to wait and have a chat. She remarked on how well I looked compared to last year and asked about the house and general stuff, then she hung her head and told me of a tragedy in the family. I expressed my deepest sympathy as she began to tell me about it. "Yes" she said " It happened two weeks ago. Our Elise, dreadful it was, she was the eldest you know! She was in the field looking over the gate when suddenly her legs went from beneath her, it was very quick, she didn't suffer" I was very, very sad. " Are you okay" I asked offering my condolences and my help if she needed it. " Oh yes, I'm over it now, she lived a long life, nothing ever ailed her". I asked what caused her death. "Heart attack" she frowned. " Oh I am so very sorry" remembering that her own mother had died with a bad heart. " She's at peace now" I said, trying to comfort her dithering lip " If there's anything I can do, or"... Then she stopped me. " Are you thinking it was one of the family! I froze, my mind went blank, a little voice was saying, "who were we talking about, I thought it was her sister" I smiled and said "Er who were you referring to" She looked puzzled and said. " Elise, my dog" My daughter, who'd been listening intensly to the conversation, burst out laughing and ran up the drive. " I thought it was one of the family, I mean human family" She in turn began to laugh. " How long have you known us, 40 years!, have you ever known me to have a sister Elise" I shook my head and apologized for being stupid but said I was sorry all the same, for the dog that is! I was simply dying to laugh but I was too embarrassed.
So you see, I'm just totally scatty. In the space of one day I managed to get just the simple things wrong.
I'm resting today. I can't cope with all this excitement, it's just too much. I keep getting myself into trouble without looking for it. Such is life!


That Old Goat!

Posted by CFMBabs , 08 October 2006 · 858 views

My husband's bright idea came from hating to mow the lawn
He'd ponder on it for hours and then decide to do it next morn
Of course that morning never came and it was always another day
He never intended doing it, the long grass was there to stay.
Then one day he was thinking, a rare thing for me to note
That if he used his head a little bit he was sure to get a goat
Now, no one told my hubby that goats can be awful mean
And that they stink like an old pole cat who's smell can turn you green
So decision made and off he went to buy himself a Billy
Came home with one behind him on a rope he looked so silly
My how that goat pushed me, I had it's horns up my back all the way
I think it kinda likes me and the farmer took no pay
He seemed pretty relieved to see the back of it somehow
I think it's settling in quite nice, it's in the orchard now
What! I shouted with some distress, me apples it will take
What ever made you want a ###### goat for goodness sake
It was eating all the apples, the fence and wire too
My hubby was getting frantic and didn't know what to do
Oh ****, it's got the washing line and it's eating all me socks
The prop, the pegs and all the clothes and even the old mail box
He ran to tether up the goat and coaxed it with some bread
But as he walked ever closer the goat lowered it's head
It's eyes were red as thunder, steam came out it's nose
It set off with a mighty charge and poor old hubby froze
He dropped his rope and ran so fast his feet hardly touching the floor
And catapulted inside the house as the goat rammed into the door
I don't think it likes to be tied up I could tell that from it's action
I think if it had caught you up you'd have been 6 weeks in traction
Whatever made you get a goat all you had to do was ask
I would have helped you mow the lawn. It's not such a daunting task
But hubby thought it better to let an animal eat for free
And now he's peering out the door, that old goat is tupping the tree
I think he's a little mad, and perhaps it's a big mistake
My backside feels a little raw and both my cheeks ache
We spent the day at the window occasionally giving a yell
It ate my best conifer and all the flowers as well
The telephone wire and gatepost, the Gnome that belonged to mother
It was going in at one end and coming out the other
It was bleating, and chewing everything in sight
And didn't stop it's feasting until the day came night
You'll have to take it back I scorned at my stupid spouse
If it carries on tomorrow he'll eat us and the house
He finally agreed to return it, though to catch it was a feat
I'll get up early tomorrow and my worst enemy I'll meet
I'll creep on up behind it and casually slip on the rope
And return it to the farmer before it gets settled here I hope
So morning came and off he went with little time to spare
Behind a bush he tip toed and saw it resting there
He gently stretched the collar for it's neck to follow through
But that old goat was cunning he knew just what to do
He turned upon my hubby then through the air he flew
He must have lifted 6 ft high and he screamed with every butt
He ran towards the shed at speed then behind him the door he shut
That goat stayed there for most of the day and my hubby wouldn't come out
I'll stay in here forever if that goats still wandering about
But I had other ideas and I phoned the farmer to plead
It's not just eating our long grass, but any kind of feed
I won't have a place to live and with that the farmer laughed
I knew he wouldn't keep it, your hubby seemed so daft
A goat isn't just a lawnmower it needs love and care
But how can you love an animal when near it you cannot dare
I'll come around right away and take old Billy back
You have to treat him nicely there is a cetain knack
I've never felt so grateful I shouted over to the shed
It's okay you can come out soon as away the farmer led
I'm sure that goat winked at me with as much as to say
I did the job for you just see as he went on his way
My hubby popped his head out and looked to see if clear
Then routed about the cabin, "What are you doing dear"
I'm getting out the mower, and I'm going to mow the lawn
And that was the last I saw of him until the following dawn
That goat now gone, and good riddance said my hubby to it
Then screamed as he sat on the chair "Oh it hurts when I sit"
No more bright ideas then, I asked with a smirk
And no more trying to get out of a little bit of work
He smiled and admitted that he was wrong for once it's true
It was the worst mistake I ever made to name but just a few
The moral of the story is, never shirk out of a chore
Or I'll be sending Billy round to play his game once more.


Craft Morning With The Golden Oldies

Posted by CFMBabs , 08 October 2006 · 804 views

Anyone who knows me and I mean personally, will know that I am totally scatty. I always have been and having a chronic disorder gives me no excuse to either blame my scattiness upon that, nor to pardon my actions due to age or circumstance.
I go head first into everything, never first thinking what the outcome may be. Take yesterday for instance. I visit my parents almost every day. They live in an old folks apartment within a complex, nearby. Every Thursday is craft day and this week the topic was creating festive cards. My Dad asked me to join them, so that's just me again, in there head first.
I arrived early just to spend some time with my parents before going into a room full of elderly people and a huge mound of card material and paper all scattered around a huge table. I remarked to my Dad, rather discreetly, that it looked like we were
bout to have a Seance, I could imagine screaming 'Is anybody there!" Anyway I placed myself next to a lovely lady of 90, my Mum to my right. My Dad sat himself next to the tutor, Oh yes, he was having first bite of the cherry. We began by introducing
each other. I was looked upon as the baby since I was the only one there under 70, except the tutor and the warden who are probably the same age as me. Out came a pile of pre-prepared cards for us all to wonder at. There were lots of "Ooohs and Arrrr"
and "Mmms and Ohhhs" I just said, "they're very nice" as I passed each one around the table. Then I did something I promised myself I wouldn't, I opened my big mouth and asked if the tutor had ever been to the wholesale department that I use in Manchester.
Then began a long conversation about all the things they sell, what you could buy and what you have to do to join. Well! don't ask me how but, I've ended up volunteering myself to take a car full of golden oldies, a tutor and a warden to Manchester.
On top of that I now have two more guests, age 85 and 90, on December 25th for dinner, My husband will kill me when he finds out!
We all began a conversation which was far more interesting than making cards, in fact by the end of the session we'd made a grand total of one! and that was made by the tutor as a demo. The warden ceremoniously announced that although the craft morning
was basically a disaster, we'd had fun just the same and everyone is biting the bit for next week. At this rate, the tutor may as well bring one piece of card, some sticky tape and a bit of glue for all the cards she'll be making next time. So she may as
well save the bother of loading her car up with boxes of the stuff, in fact if she just arrived with nothing it wouldn't matter for all the work we'd be getting through. And as for me well, another one of these craft mornings will see everyone coming to
dinner, I already had ten, now twelve, who knows how many may end up coming. If we don't get this house finished. we'll all be in the tin can ( Trailer ) and somehow I don't think it will be ideal.
So now I have the daunting task of explaining my goodwill offer to my hubby, Somehow I don't think he'll be as accommodating as me and he certainly won't be in favour. Did I mention that I also offered to show them how to ice a cake! Oh well, I did!
ll slip that into conversation when my hubby has calmed down a bit.
I think the morning on the whole went well. Okay we never managed to make a card but the topics of discussion that were being made were far more interesting. I never knew the old one's still had it in em! Made me blush I can tell you, and to think my own parents did that! Memories of childhood scorns for doing just the same came flooding back and I finally realized that parents can be hypocrites, Oh yes, that much I learned, So I'm going to be very careful in my criticism towards my daughter for in the future it may come back to haunt.!
Next installment......... next week!


Funny Person

Posted by CFMBabs , 07 October 2006 · 878 views

Funny Person

I'm perhaps a little scatty, some say that's my age, oh yes
Some say that I am witty and never in a stress
I do the most incredible things, get everything mostly wrong
Like trying on a pair of shorts that look more like a thong
I drop so many items, my cupboard is almost bare
And when I go out for a meal, people often stare
I might have a mid life crisis, who knows who cares anyway!
And I will have one more trial to get me through today.
The sun is shining and out comes the skimpy wear
But not for me, oh no, for those I dare not wear
I'm happy in my hat and scarf, and gloves all to match
With not so much of a hot flush, nor bare skin not a patch
I look a proper idiot, the high school geek no doubt
And friends all seem to wonder why I want to go out.
I'd opt for a coffee or just a cup of hot tea
Whilst they all drink their beer right in front of me
They laugh and make merry and seem to think it's bliss
And try to make me jealous over the good time that I miss
But I can have a giggle no matter what I drink
I'll have another cup of tea, and a coffee next I think

So who am I and what makes me different, I guess my skin is firmer
The doctor told me years ago that I have scleroderma
Sclero - what! my friends all say, We've never heard of that
Is that what makes you sit around in your gloves, scarf and hat
Or is it that what makes you younger, we envy your complexion
We'd love to look like that too, Can you give us the infection!
And why are you always ill when a cold is all you get!
You're such a funny person, the strangest one we've met
With fingers that do funny tricks and you don't drink or smoke
And if we go out for a meal at the menu you will poke
I can't eat this, I can't that, why! what will it do!
You say that it will stick in your throat and set just like glue
You're always at the doctors I bet you have your own seat
And sit beside the heater absorbing all the heat
What does the general practitioner think of you, are they tired of your trials!
I think your doctor must have a desk full of your files
No room in his cupboard you have a shelf of your own
What do you find to talk about if all you do is moan!
But I never say how bad I feel it would be worse if it were they
I'm sure they'd be much worse than me in every single way.
And who are they to mock me I was once normal not ill not I
I was just your average person who'd give anything a try
I was first to arrange a girls' night out, the first to go to the bar
The first to jump on the dance floor, first to drive a car
First one to go up the aisle, and first to have a child
I guess my teenage years took toll I was kinda wild
So now I'm in my middle years and memories are in my mind
And so called friends are very few and very hard to find
Who wants a friend who's never well or looks different from the rest
And wears thick clothing all year round and jeans and hats for best
And what's the use of restaurants they're places I do not go
They don't give you a discount for eating very slow
They hover round the table like vultures stalking prey
And wonder if you're going to finish the meal in front of you today
Are you very fussy ma'am or don't you like the food!
I can tell they're getting anxious, I think they're very rude
And when we finally leave for home I ask for my hat and coat
Dressed up like a sailor upon the Atlantic on a boat
Yes, I'm a funny person but in a humorous sort of way
For that is all I have to offer, not much else to say
Except I have a wonderful life, a good family and home
And I don't feel isolated don't even feel alone
This disease has gotten hold of me, but it chose the wrong guy
And I won't lie down defeated and watch my life go by
I'll live my life a day at time, and fight it till the end
And the person who is dear to me I shall call them friend
It's not pity I need, and I'd like you to know
That if there is a party I'd be the first to go.
So who is this person I talk about, I bet you're wondering who!
Well, it's the person reading this poem now, my friend -- it's you!

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