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CFM Babs from Chorley FM


Here At Last

Posted by CFMBabs , 26 September 2006 · 993 views

Well now I know how to post, there's no stopping me! I won't say it was easy, there were times I wanted to give up, and I think that myself and Shelley clogged up cyberspace with our constant emails to and fro.

So here I am, square eyed, sore finger tipped and numb bottom. I'd like to say wide eyed and legless but since I no longer drink alchohol, and hardly ever sleep, never mind the rhyme I wrote I was just kidding, I can't boast being either.
My sole task for today has to be housework since I neglected that chore somewhat over the past two or three days, and my computer is giving off a plasticky smell due to constant usage.

Today began with the usual paraphanalia such as the postman's arrival. It's a case of who gets to him first, the geese, dog or me, no prizes for guessing who wins! We only get mail on certain days now, that's because the regular postie has this thing going with the dog, no one else dare take such liberties. He's yet to conquer the geese though and somehow I don't think that's possible. The dog has tried to make friends many times, but the geese are a law unto themselves, and if you ain't got a beak and webbed feet, you ain't in their gang.

My hubby has yet another whim. Winemaking this time, well at least it's not bringing home any more dangerous animals. He wants me to make it so he can drink it, who's the fool here! I gave up the old tipple two years ago but not for the want of trying. I have endulged a couple of times only to curl up with pain and wish I'd never gone there. I guess I'm commited to an achohol free life, how many more pleasures can a woman give up, I can think of another but I won't go there, I've only just got on the blog, being booted off at this delicate stage would be too embarassing, and speaking of embarassment, how embarassing is a clinic appointment. Prodded here and there, asked to reveal the most personal questions, watched by new interns and those wanting to learn, about me! I ask you, would they be interested if I was normal! Nope not in me. I'm just a living text book, not a person, and do I complain!......... I'll leave that one up to you!

I long to go back to Greece, somehow my life is better there. No more raynauds attacks, wooly jumpers or aches and pains, they should prescribe Greece on the National Health Service, probably cost a whole lot less than the mountain of drugs I get through each year. Scleroderma costs both in health and money and that's something to think about.

I'll go and do my thinking and since writing this has got me out of a little housework for an hour, the reason won't wash with my hubby who already thinks I'm lazy.
Time for real work and perhaps a glance at the TV. I think "Monk" is on this afternoon, and I need a little smile.


Setting Up The Blog

Posted by CFMBabs , 26 September 2006 · 973 views

Let's set up a new venture, said Shelley Ensz one day
We'll make a place to air our views, where we can have our say
So they enlisted me and others to write upon the board
Perhaps a little blog or two, the anticipation soared
So away they worked in the background amidst the sweat and the toil
They tweeked at every little switch, and the keyboards they did oil
They perfected every link and click, and then invited me to join
They said it would be easy, just as easy as flipping a coin
So in I went with a head full of junk and silly poetic rhyme
But it wouldn't let me join the gang it revoked me every time
I changed my name to Barbara, my real name not my tag
And played around with every key, my confidence began to sag
Still I wasn't accepted, and as my frustration grew
I went to open the cupboard it was the only thing to do
I poured myself a little drink and then another after that
My head full of jolly robbins so at the computer I went and sat
I couldn't find the cursor, the keys all looked double to me
And I couldn't log myself in, the words I could not see
So Shelley e mailed me a message and marked them for a jerk
Technology and I do not mix, and the site I could not work
My animals were going hungry and my family reported me lost
I spent so much time at the computer, my marriage it nearly cost
I deleted so much jargon then found myself confused!
I don't think Shelley was happy and I was not amused
For every time I used my mouse the computer began to groan
And by this time I was so ###### drunk and frozen to the bone
My fingers were in spasm, my Raynauds out full bloom
And I was getting hypothermia just sitting in the room
And still I was in wilderness whilst others already there
And by this time I was merry and I didn't really care
I grabbed myself the bottle and the last drop I did sup
Then slumped back upon my chair about to give it up
I'd done everything possible to post a ###### blog
But all I kept getting was a blank brain fog
I'd never been so clever in fact I flunked at school
And always played the idiot, the prankster and the fool
I wished I'd learned to listen then perhaps I'd be a boff
Instead of being a blogger who couldn't pull it off
And so the story went on and on, for days it would seem
My mentors were all waiting for me to join their team
But I was just too ###### drunk I forgot that I was a member
I'd used so many alias's my own name I couldn't remember
Well finally I got there, don't ask coz I don't know how!
I guess you already knew that or you wouldn't be reading this now
So thanks to all the moderators for their guidance and anticipation
And for allowing me to post this rhyme with some exageration
I wish that this new venture will be as successful as the board
And I won't have to get drunk no more, the gin I can't afford.


Amazing Bloodless Woman Poem

Posted by CFMBabs , 25 September 2006 · 940 views

Well! I have scleroderma -- Sclero what! I heard you say
Oh something very nasty a greek word by the way
I'll give this vein another try, I won't be beaten y'know
I sigh "why not" just have another go.
No! theres nothing there, are you sure you live and breathe
Well! I think I need some of your blood before I up and leave
I'll get someone more specialised, someone who never fails
She's quite a formidable person who has no time for males

The rustle of the curtain told me that she was here
In came this huge brash person -- "Is it you I need my dear!
I've heard so much about you, the woman with no veins"
Why do I feel so worried as they passed over the reins
This woman hovering round me who'd left her last one on the floor
Was about to have a go at me, I was looking for the door.
"Now C'mon love" she said as though I'd jump up and run
And then boasted about her victims as if she was having fun
My last one was a policeman a big strong kind of guy
Screamed out loud for all to hear as if he was going to die
I had another this morning, said that he was the "man"
When I got my needle out he jumped up and ran

My arm outstretched, her hand grabbed mine I really wasn't getting away
This woman they'd got from the crimean war was getting my blood today
Out came this tiny needle and a dish full of viles
I wasn't sitting comfortably and it wasn't due to my piles
She scanned my arm with x ray vision, then began to rub away
That little blighter I think is there had better come out to play
In went the needle for the umpteenth time in succesion
And out came the blood, slow but a steady progression
"There you are dear" She exclaimed with a certain joy
"This is what makes us women, and men a mere boy"
"Did you say you had scleroderma, to do with skin I believe is true
I heard you tell the other nurse so I already knew
Y'see you're never too old to learn my dear and that's what makes me good
So whenever you need to come again ask me to take your blood.
The moral of this poem is never judge a book by it's cover
I want that lady every time I'd never have another

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