In For Life!
I was sitting in my hospital bed
Reading a book I'd already read
In came this lady who caught my attention
Hello! she said, my name, did I mention!
To which I replied No! but mine's Barbara, what's yours
Margaret, she answered, Margaret Doors.
What are you in for?, she asked tentatively
Life! I replied, rather cynically
So you've been here a while she said with a grin
Almost a year, a long time to be in
I joked I was admitted for a ingrowing nail
I saw her face turn quite pale
Just a nail?, she asked, with certain degree of horror
I'm having the same and I'm homeward bound tomorrow!
Don't be too sure, I said with a sneer
They told me that, and I've been in a year!
I went on with the joke for half an hour or so
Till I told poor Margaret I was only joking Y'know
She covered her mouth, then began to smile
I knew you were joking all the while!
What a great introduction, we giggled all night
But in the morning I knew that thing's weren't right
A nurse stood worryingly at the bottom of my bed
Writing her notes and shaking her head
"Oh Barbara are you sure you feel okay?"
I really didn't know what to say!
"Do you feel a bit queasy or a little faint?"
I didn't feel perfect, but dying I ain't
"I think we need the doctor, I'll get him round real quick
I began to think well this is it, I must be really sick!
"Just lie back and take it easy, I'll be back and don't you flinch"
You look a bit green today and your face looks like the grinch!
I lay real still not daring to move, my head was spinning round
What could have happened in the night, what else had they found?
Then in came a doctor, a solemn figure there was he
Looking through my every note and then looking right at me
Well you have something most incurable, something very pure
It's called a wicked sense of humour and there isn't any cure
He laughed out loud, Margaret too, said they were just having fun
For that doctor and the nurse were her daughter and son
I had to admit that I'd been duped and I thought that it was cool
For Margaret had paid me back for playing the silly fool