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What A Week, What A Day!

Posted by CFMBabs , 29 September 2006 · 697 views

Argggh! can you hear me screaming. I wrote this piece once and the whole thing disappeared right in front of my eyes. So here goes again.
Boy! I've had a frustrating week. Besides having sclero, running a dangerous farm animal sanctuary and having a blocked tube, I've also had the usual run in's with the medical profession.
I have not one but two different hospitals, yes, two, sounds straightforward, Nope!
My problems began earlier in the week when my feeding tube just blocked up. I was running round in circles for two days and then finally today I met a freckle faced jam jar bespectacled secretary, whose sole purpose in life was to file her fingernails to the wick! After I'd stood there half an hour or so, she put down her nail file and asked what I wanted. " Can I help you! " That word of course does not exist in the NHS. I explained about my tube and that it was blocked. She began her response sounding like that ###### owl that keeps me awake every night. " Oooh, I think we can't help you today, not here" I was slightly confused by this and pointed to a sign above her head which said 'Gastroenterology Dept' She looked up like she'd never noticed it before and said " Yes but there's no one here today who can help you" I gave out a huge sigh after what seemed like a million phone calls to and from different people all pointing me to this department. " You'll have to go to Preston" she said. Preston is my other hospital, the one which looks after my tube. Manchester is my sclero centre, so that explains why I have two.
I set off amidst the rush hour traffic, straight up the M6 motorway in Lancashire. I heard on the news that there had been an accident involving two vehicles right where I needed to get off. To make matters worse, I was sandwiched between two large oil tankers and a geek in a landrover with what looked suspiciously like the non helpful secretary I'd just left. I finally exited the motorway and arrived at my destination. The next trial was to find a parking space. You couldn't get a piece of tissue paper between parked cars, and I knew I was in for a long day. Finally a space became available and I shot in, much to the annoyance of another motorist who was also waiting for a space but I was there first. I was tempted to make a rude gesture, but the urge just fizzled away as I got out of the car.
I got to the department and much to my surprise I was expected. I was led into a room and given all the sympathy I justly deserved. Finally someone who knew me, about my condition and was prepared to help me. She lay me on the all too familliar couch and began to push and shove at the syringe attached to my tube. She was labouriously pushing and shoving, grunting and groaning, then finally, whoosh, I let out a scream and she let out a well earned "Yes" I shuddered to think what anyone passing by outside must have thought, dare I say climax!
Much to my relief and her delight my tube was free and so was I, now for the drive back home.
I arrived to a welcoming party of two cats, one dog and nine geese, all hungry and waiting for me. The biggest animal of all, my hubby was coming home for his lunch and I got there just in time.
So now I'm writing this, for the second time today. I've just been distracted by an irate motorist honking at the gate. My clever hubby has left the gate open and my geese are all over the road and having a honking competition with the driver. The dog's barking at the commotion and I've just been verbally abused by a man in a bright yellow junk heap of a car outside my gate. Surely he was having a laugh when he bought that big yellow banana, small wonder the geese were honking, it sounded like laughter to me.
So what a week, what a day, what a life. I'm going for a lie down before anything else goes wrong, and I think it will Y'know!

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