Where Is Global Warming?
I'm counting on my chickens for when it finally comes in
For the very thought of warmness fills me with such glad
I haven't been warm since Greece, the best warm I've ever had
I was just alright in the sunshine whilst others wilted and hit the shade
And I lounged just like a lizard, coz that's how I'm made
At night I wrapped up in clothing before we hit the bars
And all the tourists looked at me as if I'd come from Mars
For they were dressed in skimpy wear with hardly anything on
And I was shivering for them after the sun had gone
Where is this global warming? Oh, I wish it would hurry up!
As my lips sipped a coffee, my fingers round the cup
And when I'd finished drinking I simply asked for more
Then moved further inside the room away from the door
"Don't tell me that your'e freezing," my hubby said with shock
"We're almost on the coast of Egypt, over there by the rock
"If you can shiver here, my dear, then pity you when we get home
"You'll freeze like an ice cube right through to the bone."
At night the air conditioning was sneakily switched to low
And underneath the duvet I would always go
Whilst hubby sweltered in the heat and moaned that he was hot
I was nice and warm that's all, and that's all I ever got
Still I never once got bitten, those mossies kept away
They had a feast on hubby and then went their merry way
Back home again in England and I'm sitting by the fire
In my furry little boots and fluffy night attire
I've got my regular position stoking up the grate
And my hubby in his undies in a melting state
Where is this global warming? It can't come soon enough
For someone who had Raynaud's, the weather here is tough
I'm sorry for the penguins, the polar bears and the seals
But unless you have this condition you don't know how it feels!