All That I Am - Part 3
Tiredness, well if there was a prize for being constantly fatigued, I'd win hands down! My day only get's going around mid-morning, speeds up a little by afternoon and then grinds to a halt around 7pm, that's when the "Yawns" begin.
To think back 6 years, and that's not a lot of elapsed time, I used to run my own business, employed several people, and kept up with the rest in a very chauvenistic world of high-flying executives. I worked within an industry of tight schedules and demanding deadlines. I took the knocks -- I took the blows -- I'm sure there's a song in there somewhere?
But, yes, I did it my way!
I was a well rounded individual in many ways, weight-wise being just one issue! I loved my food although it stuck in my gullet on most occasions and ruined the best nights out I've ever had. Still, my love for curry never stopped me indulging in a feast of different courses until my esophagus filled up to the top and I couldn't physically squeeze any more in. I'd spend the rest of the evening afterwards holding my breath as the food moved backwards and forwards in my throat. Eventually though, I began to eat less because of it, and then gradually things became a whole lot worse. The decision to do something about it became the biggest turning point in my life and began a journey that I'm still travelling on today!
I guess it was 2002, it must have been something like that. I remember moving to the farm into a 2 bedroom trailer. We'd set our sights on rebuilding the farmhouse cottage within a year. We'd had several pitfalls along the way. We lost our builder for a start as he went off on another job, didn't bother to tell us and then never came back and that was before we took down a wall or laid a brick! The months rolled on and we slid into winter. Of course we weren't prepared for snow and ice and all that a cold winter had to throw at us. It's absolutely no fun having a condition that reacts to the cold when you are living in a tin can.
Spring came along and we were still looking at the house and watching pieces of it deteriorate in the March winds. Finally we made a decision -- the most stupid one to date. We would rebuild the house ourselves! I mean, why not? My hubby was an engineer, I was creative and rather than doing nothing but stare at an empty shell, we might as well have a go at it. So, then I became Barbara the Mum, housewife, business woman, scleroderma sufferer and builder. I was "Jack of All Trades" but, as the saying goes, "Master of None!"
We had many misfortunes along the way. I became very sick after spending long spells in hospital. The building work suffered -- the family suffered, my life was becoming very different indeed.