My self esteem may be running a little low but a confidence booster happened completely out of the blue yesterday. I may be hitting a midlife crisis but you have to make an effort sometimes. A day out with my hubby turned out to be quite eventful. I never intended to dress up or slap on make up and I don't know why I suddenly decided to do just that!
The day could not be any better. Lovely warm sunshine and a place in the pub which was warm and cozy. We'd gone simply to watch the soccer on TV. The atmosphere is so much better than staying at home cheering on your team. Unfortunately we lost but it mattered not because we met some old friends and made some new ones too!
My hubby was slightly tipsy towards the end of the game and his toilet trips were becoming more frequent and more lengthy due to the amount of talking he was doing at the bar. I found myself sitting virtually on my own but not feeling as vulnerable as you may think. A guy came over and began talking to me. I was being chatted up! Normally I'd have run a mile but I have to confess I quite enjoyed it! After all, I've spent the last three years looking like death itself and about as attractive as Gollom. Here I was being admired for once, and I have to say it was so flattering.
Long before my hubby came back, he'd moved on with his friends but not before a little peck on the cheek. I suddenly felt like a cheat. It wasn't like I was about to start an affair, I just enjoyed the right sort of attention for a change. He didn't know that I had a feeding tube, scleroderma or anything wrong with me, on the contrary he saw me as a bit of alright and I'm chuffed!
My hubby returned. Big smile upon his face -- "Guess who I've been talking to?" Mmmm guess who I've been talking to? I thought! He went on about all the news he'd gathered at the bar and then apologised for taking so long. I just smiled as he handed me a soft drink which by then was warm and without fizz.
I might make an effort every time I go out in future -- that sort of attention is something I need every day! I feel like Cinderella today because I'm back in my socks, jumpers and looking old and dowdy. Yesterday I was a princess!