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Sticky Mess

Posted by CFMBabs , 02 October 2008 · 834 views

Making treacle toffee is not for me I guess
I always end up with an awful sticky mess
No matter how I make it - it's never a success
I have to say I'm beaten, can't make it I confess

My grandma had the knack, that I did not inherit
Never got the recipe so never gained the merit
It was always very edible, better than my mum's
Didn't need a trolley jack to prise apart your gums

My last attempt was fabled and went straight in the bin
Couldn't get it out the pan or even out the tin
It stuck like glue to everything, sticking to my cloth
And when the dog found it, up the field she was off

The entourage was following and every animal we own
Was taking little pieces and wandering off alone
The geese's beaks were soldered, the goats had some too
No matter how they tried they couldn't help but chew

I've never witnessed such a scene, the animals were queuing
Instead of grazing on the grass they were simply chewing
The geese were full of treacle, the cat had it on its fur
The dog was running in circles, the goats had it in their hair

By george those goats were quiet, geese were silent too
The dog had given up trying to chew the toffee through
There was treacle in the garden and even in the trough
They'd all had a bath to try and get it off

I'm not making toffee, my family cry hooray!
I can't afford the vet bills that I would have to pay
I can't afford the dentist, so I guess I'll just give in
And buy the toffee from the shop to save all the din.

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