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Posted by CFMBabs , 22 October 2006 · 649 views

Thank goodness for the weekend, the family's all home
I'm sick of being stranded every day on my own
At least I'll have some company for a day or two
And find lots of little jobs that they can help me do
I want to choose a carpet, so off to the store in town
I had a colour in my mind, the price was knocked right down
I wanted a nice rich colour of red to match my warm decor
But my daughter wasn't that impressed and found it quite a bore

The salesman tried his level best to sell me his choice of style
But I was just as adamant, it had taken my eye for a while
I wanted stain resistant, my liquid food is just so runny
And trying to mop up the messy spills, really isn't that funny
My husband loses interest and begins to puff and moan
And hasn't the slightest interest in all he's being shown
So I choose the priciest carpet much to the salesman's glee
And watch my hubby's twisted face as he makes up the bill for me
My goodness! I hear my hubby cry although I tell a lie
He's really hopping up and down swearing not to buy

Going home there's silence, the shock has been too great
His wallet flat and deflated, struck dumb in such a state
I chose the nicest carpet the showroom had in stock
A busy little number with a beautiful red flock
It will suit all my decor, my curtains and the suite
And round the whole front room it will look kind of neat
I can picture my little dream home looking like a palace
My hubby J.R Ewing and me Sue Ellen in Dallas.

Then we arrive at our abode, my dream ends right there
The driveway full of goose poo, I can smell it in the air
Piles of buliders rubbish, bricks and beams on the floor
No proper wooden windows and ****! not even a door
My hubby frowns at all the work, he'll have to work real quick
My carpet comes in two more weeks, he looks quite pale and sick
This renovation nightmare has gone on way too long
And I'm sick of listening to the same old whining song
I want to live in a real home instead of a tin can
It's more than I can take, enough for any man
Four long years of making do, living day to day
And I'm not doing it anymore, no Sir, no way!

I'm thinking of the winter holidays, a log fire and a tree
And 10 of my old relatives all coming over to me
I can picture all the oldies, the atmosphere get's madder
I should like to see them tipsy and try to climb the ladder!
Coz that's all we have at the moment to get us to the loo
And if there's an emergency, what else can you do!
But at least I'll have a carpet for all who come to admire
And in the corner a 4 piece suite and a real open log fire
And this will be the winter that we finally move in
Out of that trailer and it's walls of wood and tin
So that's why I bought a carpet, it's not such a crazy thought
It will be the greatest thing that we have ever bought

I hope so any way!

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