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Posted by CFMBabs , 28 October 2006 · 833 views

That pain in my stomach ached for me to go
I'd put it off for so long, but I just had to blow
I nervously sat on the toilet but nothing to report
So this little toilet trip was another to abort
I went to my doctor, she sighed and almost broke with a smile
But I'll tell you something honey, It hurts when you ain't been for a while
How come you're quite happy to prescribe something for any situation
But laugh at the prospect of a script for constipation
She gave me some bullets and a bottle of of something sweet
I wasn't sure what to do with them, do I insert them or eat!

I sat alone on the toilet, everyone was out
I strained with all my might and even gave a shout
But nothing was appearing the pain was getting worse
And soon I'll need an enema from the district nurse
I sat and watched the TV and all of a sudden came the pain
I knew I had to move quite fast, I needed to go again
The traumatic events that followed were worth it I confess
Out came the little blighter what a wonderful success!

The smile upon my face told of the extreme delight
I felt so relieved and happy and about a stone light
It's funny how such a natural thing can make you feel so ill
When straining won't relieve it without the aid of a pill
I skipped around the housework, I felt as light as a feather
And I felt as fresh as a daisy in the glorious sunny weather
I guess the moral of the story is, keep yourself fit and eat yourself well
Or you too will be in the bathroom with a tin of lubricant gel!

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