Radio Ga Ga!
Today I sat with my most favourite presenter at the station. He's my favourite because he makes me laugh and makes me go all unnecessarily unprofessional as he pulls faces as I try to describe my Dish Of The Week. Today was no exception and I found myself giggling live on air as I did something with a vegetable that he found highly amusing. I do not need to paint the picture, I think you can visualise the innuendo? To make matters worse, a guest sat doubled up with laughter and then mayhem ensued. Well, the switchboard lit up and the station manager burst in dragging his finger across his throat without actually saying "Cut!"but we knew what he meant simply by his actions. If I was under any disillusions of becoming the third female presenter, my time was about to be cut short before I'd even played my first jingle.
My headphones cradled around my neck as I walked into his office trying to keep a straight face. It's difficult to remember what you've said since you've already said it! I was hoping it was nothing too insulting or offensive and my head was full of "I really wish I hadn't taken this recipe in today -- the cucumber was a bad idea." I tapped on the door and a voice shouted "Yeah!" which in radio terms means "come in!" The station manager swivelled in his leather look chair chewing the end off a pencil. I cleared my throat and began to apologise although I wasn't sure what for.
"Don't apologise, it wasn't your fault. Fact is it was quite funny and actually you handled it really well. I need to ask you what days you're available?
Phew! I was off the hook and not about to be shown the door in disgrace. We worked out a schedule, my training and co-presenting would be carried out over the space of a week and when I feel more confident and ready to host the show when the reins will be handed over.
I got home just in time to apprehend one of the goats who had found a new pastime -- the limbo under the fence game! We've just paid a fortune to keep them in and the little critters have worked out how to escape without jumping the fence. Apple was the culprit and was enjoying dandelions whilst the road was stopped with a line of traffic and well meaning busy body motorists telling me that I had a goat on the wayside. I spent the next 10 minutes trying to shove its head under the bottom plank followed by its rear end! It was pretty pointless in the end because once she'd tasted the lovely yellow flowers, there was no stopping her. I endured the next few hours on goat watch smiling and waving at passing motorists.
Worse was to come as the geese spotted me from the yard and decided to come down and keep me company so now I was stuck between herding the geese back and shepherding a determined goat. Of course the goose brought the goslings to see me as well so the Awww factor was very much reverberating through the traffic. I really should charge for the entertainment because I'm sure that car went by twice?
Hubby came home to my nagging and I sent him down to the fence where it was quite obvious how she'd managed to get out at will. The hammer and nails went from the shed along with several lengths of wood, well at least I'll sleep better tonight!
My exciting day at the station and my news of becoming a DJ took a back seat and I didn't bother mentioning it until later in the evening, by then it wasn't exciting at all. I watered my plants and tended the weeds. I smiled at the cucumber plants and said under my breath, "You caused me some problems today!"