If My Fingers Will Allow
Let me help you darlin, the shopkeeper sighed in stress
I cannot get the ###### thing off it's lovely but a bit tight
And the zip won't move up or down Oh what a fight!
What's wrong with your fingers, the assistant grabbed my hands
Then began to rub them "They're white, oh, my lands!"
Do you have bad circulation or something else my dear
I couldn't wait to get away and flee right out of here.
In the end the dress came off and with it all my pride
I was so relieved to say goodbye and finally get outside.
My shopping trip in tatters, my fingers totally numb
And I felt like a real jerk, boy that move was dumb
Me trying on a skimpy dress when all I wear is jeans
I just wanted to be normal; for once a woman of means
I'm going to a wedding and I just won't look right
To have my picture taken in jeans would be a sight
And what would I do with my backpack, I'd look like a hiker had just dropped by
And crashed in on a wedding and be the, whose that guy!
I guess I'll have to give it a miss and stay home instead
And be the only person to miss the day they wed
I'll send them my little present, my best wishes and all the luck
And send a card with love for both and in the post I stuck
But my fingers wouldn't hold it, and down the road it flew
I stood and watched it tumble and didn't know what to do.
Oh! I screamed "I hate this disease", I nearly swore as well
So I began to chase it down the road and on a pebble I fell.
With bloody knees and dented pride I walked home, what a day!
My shopping trip a disaster and a card that blew away.
So much for the wedding, I'll make it somehow just see
So I sat and smiled and said out loud this always happens to me!
No pretty dress, no fancy card, elastoplast for my knees
And they say that bad luck usually comes in three's
My fingers warm around my cup, the tea will do the trick
And I'll go out some other day and another dress I'll pick.
If my fingers will allow!