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barefut impressions


A typical check up

Posted by barefut , 14 October 2008 · 635 views

Barb, your 3 month checkups sound kind of like mine. A two and a half hour minimum, one way travel time, crossing 2 bodies of water, one by floating bridge that is usually open to submarine traffic every time I cross it and I must wait at least 1/2 hour. The other body of water crossed by ferry usually during commuter time. Then a treacherous hill climb through downtown traffic and dodging pedestrians running to beat the light. Finally to the top of the hill and into the parking garage. No sense even looking for a space until I get to the top floor. Then a 6 story descent by foot down the stairs to street level.

Once inside, a wait in line to check in, then the elevator to the 5th floor where I cross a skybridge to the next building and go up the elevator to the 6th floor. Around the corner and a life size cardboard cutout of Luke Skywalker dressed in real scrubs greets me at the reception desk. Seeing my childhood crush waiting for me at the end of my long journey is totally worth it all. :D The gals at the desk promised me I could have him. They even offered to carry him down to my car for me. But he belonged to their boss and she wasn't there that day, so I was a little hesitant about taking him. Upon my next visit he was gone. :(

Then yea, a 5 minute face to face with rheumatologist and it's all the way back home and all at a cost of about $120 for gas, ferry, parking and at least one meal on the road, not to mention missing work. So, I talked my rheumatologist into seeing me every 6 months as long as I was feeling the same. I can get my bloodwork done locally and they'll fax results to her. When I see my pulmonologist and have my PFT every 6 months, I see my rheumatologist too. The clinics have been great at scheduling my appointments all within an hour of each other.

As far as complaints or questions to ask, I really don't have much to say anymore either. "Uhhh......I got nuthin' - wanna look at my toe?" So at last visit I showed her my painful pinky toe with the brownsih toenail (which I have concluded is a stubborn fungal infection not gangrene). She said, sometimes people just have it cut off. Knowing what she meant I teasingly said, "The toe?!" :o to which she replied, "No, the nail." <_< I think she thought I was serious. Now she thinks I'm a nut case. I was concerned about the healing process with Raynaud's and all but since she didn't seem at all concerned, I think I will have it cut off - sick of dealing with it.

What a lovely discussion! :P


Dear Rhyming Barb

Posted by barefut , 09 October 2008 · 790 views

Oh dear Barb what can I say?
Your poems always brighten my day. :D

You are so clever, you have such wit
Your writing you'd better never quit

I am so sorry you are feeling pain to the bone
I want to tell you, you are not alone.

My hips are rebelling going up the stairs
And my knees are screaming at the weight they must bear.

My shoulder too is giving me grief
When can we ever find some relief?

The pain has gone up my neck and down my arm
This dismobility is causing alarm

Why must we work harder than anyone else
To do the same things and with so much pain felt?

I am not looking for sympathy either
(Just a Rhyme for either right now)

Your poems on life always amaze
I hope you're not shy of a little praise

You make rhyming look easy but it 'aint all the time
Like Yoda I write just to make it rhyme

So, thanks once again for another smile
And la -la -la something to rhyme with smile

Love you!
Feel better soon!


New Affliction

Posted by barefut , 07 October 2008 · 829 views

My brain turned to mush at work with a balancing nightmare. If you work in banking or with numbers at all, I'm sure at one point or another you've experienced mushbrain. I was relieved to know that there is such a thing and that it was not just me.

One of my very understanding and sympathetic supervisors, bless her sweet soul, told me that mush brain is very real and that if you can remember your name when asked, or even understand the question, then you will recover quite nicely.

I stared at her blankly. Uhhhhh What? My name? Uhhhhhh, my name is.......What is my name??!!!

Symptoms of Mushbrain

Early warning signs
1. A feeling that something isn't quite right
2. Attempts to research the cause of the feeling are foiled time and time again
3. Frustration ensues but must be squashed
4. You are now overwhelmed, the clock is ticking, there is no one to help you

Early stage Mushbrain attack
1. You overcompensate your lack of knowledge with gushing friendliness
2. In an attempt to regroup you only become more disorganized
3. Constant interruptions are slowly eating your brain cells
4. You will take advice from anyone
5. Eyes become glazed

Full blown Mushbrain attack
1. Headache (what doesn't ache?)
2. Loud ringing in the ears
3. Blank stare
4. Inability to answer simple questions
5. Inability to utter a comprehensive word
6. Fight or flight instinct kicks in

Complicating Factors
1. 11:00 am lunch, no afternoon break, it's now 5:30 pm
2. You must find someone to pick up your children at daycare before 6:00pm
3. No one you call is home
4. Four different people are telling you 4 different things to do all at the same time

Although fleeing did cross my mind, I stayed and fought to the bitter end which is a punch line in itself because the answer to the balancing nightmare was sitting on the copy machine the whole time.


Random stuff

Posted by barefut , 23 September 2008 · 782 views

In thumbing through a specialty catalog the other day I came across 2 items that reminded me of a couple of members here. One was a T-shirt that said, "It Is What It Is". The other was an outdoor 'welcome' mat that said, "Close The Door The Chickens Will Come In!" I'll let you all try and figure out who I am talking about. ;) And if anyone wants the name of that catalog, feel free to PM me.

I may have over done it a bit in my workout tonight. Sharp chest pains. Please, if I have to have a heart attack, don't let it happen until my insurance kicks in. I have 8 more days.....can you put heart attacks on hold?

I have a gripe to vent. "When does she not have a gripe to vent?" I hear some of you who know me well and/or have worked with me, say ;) But listen, I've been keeping all my gripes to myself lately and honestly there haven't been a whole lot either. But this one has to come out.

I need to know why every single public woman's restroom I have ever been in that has gigantic toilet paper roll dispensers, has them mounted so low that you have to stand on your head to dispense the toilet paper?! Is there some kind of regulation, mandate or standard building code that requires this? What logical reason must there be for not installing them 2 feet higher?

Is it just one of those things that has always been done that way and now that we have King Kong sized toilet paper rolls enclosed in plastic dispensers (which when holding a full roll is so heavy that the tissue can't pull it's own weight and breaks off in little tiny pieces in your hands) that no one has stopped to think, "Gee, this would be hard to reach even for someone not in a delicate situation; maybe it should be higher?"

I have a trophy for the first establishment I visit that has this type of dispenser installed with common sense.

Okay, now on to the motion sensor, automatic flushing toilets which flush (and splash) on you when you lean forward into your headstand to tear off your 1200 thumb-sized toilet paper rations. Yea, gotta gripe about that too. And why does the toilet sometimes choose not to flush at all? Huh? Then you're looking all over the place for the over-ride switch/default flusher button (or else the candid camera) because they never put them in the same place from one manufacturer to the next. I imagine a bunch of people in security laughing their socks off as they sit there with a remote control flusher, just messing with people.

Well, I guess that's enough potty talk for one night. This blog may not even be approved!

1:25 am. Going to be a fun day today. Man I wish I could sleep!


A short update

Posted by barefut , 21 September 2008 · 716 views

Long time no blog. Just enjoying my first cup of decaf for the day as the sweat from house cleaning evaporates from my forehead (why do I need a treadmill?).

My new employer held its annual awards dinner lastnight at a fancy golf and country club. I really wanted to go but my body didn't. I even had something to wear and the boys were pawned off on the neighbors for the night. Oh well, there's always next year.

Since the kids spent the night at the neighbors, I got to sleep in until 8:30! :D Even better, I get a peaceful, productive morning before the whole neighborhood of boys shows up at my house as is the usual Sunday routine. So not sure how much blogging time I have this morning. Trying to blog with kids in the house is like trying to....do something futile (not very witty this morning <_< ).

I was noticing how neglected my pantry has become. It's scary. Speaking of scary, I decided to leave the cobwebs up for decoration as October is fast approaching anyway. I'm trying hard to not become overwhelmed. I still have to file my 2007 tax return, finish and file divorce papers, renew a number of assistance applications and get to know what I'm doing at work.

Little boy just burst through the door. I guess a short blog is better than no blog at all (hey now! <_< ) It's football time anyway. GO SEAHAWKS!!! GO PEANUT!!!!



Posted by barefut , 02 September 2008 · 740 views

First day of school. YAY!!! Need I say more? Nah.

First day on the new job. YAY!!! Need I say more? Yes! Not only do I have a desk, I have an office! A brand new cushy office in a brand new cushy bank with brand new cushy furniture. It will make up for losing my water view at my old bank.

My new bank is a bank/coffee shop upstairs from a funky uptown market/deli. My new position is Personal Banker. I am looking forward to new challenges and a better paycheck. Pretty cool I have my fancy coffee so handy, not to mention all the delectable pastries and muffins. This afternoon I was subjected to the torture of all the mouth watering aromas wafting upstairs from the deli. I can see myself going broke from eating out everyday and gaining 400 pounds from all the mochas and sweets.

I am afraid that I will have to have my picture in the business news section of our local paper, introducing me to the public as their new Personal Banker. Hopefully they only do that for the higher-ups. I so hate my picture taken! I am just one of those very unphotogenic people, no matter which side of me faces the camera. In my whole life I have had maybe 2 good pictures taken. Maybe they can use one of those? Of course I was 15 in one, and 22 in the other and 80 pounds lighter in both. <_< But most of all, I'm very self-conscience of the changes sclero has made to my face. I hate my small mouth and my lipless donkey smile. I really don't want to advertise it.

Not looking forward to another change of health insurance coverage - and then another in November as we will most likely change providers due to rising costs. I have had a rough time getting my mail order prescriptions all ironed out and as soon as I think I have it all under control, it changes. But hey - I'm not complaining! New job, new bank, bigger paycheck - I am grateful!!!

I guess I do need to say more about the first day of school: I wasn't able to be there for my youngest's first day of first grade but I have a wonderful neighbor who has watched the boys for me for these past 2 weeks and she took the boys out to breakfast this morning and drove them to school, taking little one in to purchase his school supply kit in the office and help him find his classroom. I am so blessed to have such special people come into my life and take over for me when I can't be there to be mom.

Another busy day tomorrow, must get some sleep.....zzzzzzzzzzz


Wake up call

Posted by barefut , 25 August 2008 · 781 views

We attempted a day at the Lake yesterday but got rained out 1/2 way there so we went school shopping with grandpa's gift money instead. On the way home we were stopped on the highway for nearly 2 hours due to a terrible multi car accident. We counted 6 aid cars passing us to get to the scene. I was sick in my stomach. Had I not stopped to rummage for empty boxes on our way out of the warehouse store, we could have been part of that accident.

Driving by the wreckage, the worst of the cars was unrecognizable. My stomach churned. If anyone survived that, it would be unbelievable. I couldn't help but to imagine what the victims and their families were feeling. One minute they are on their way to somewhere, with a plan for the day and the next minute their whole life is changed.

How would I handle it? What would I do? In my imagination, I never handle it well. Don't ask me why I let myself think things like that. Maybe to prepare myself should anything terrible ever really happen to me or my family. Or maybe I'm just warped.

It was a wake up call for all. Pay attention when driving! We've been driving for so long and so often, it becomes mundane, like brushing our teeth. We let our minds wander and even our eyes wander and it only takes a split second to kill or be killed in an automobile. I know I will lose some of my bad driving habits after seeing that wreck.

I didn't intend for this blog to sound like a public service announcement. Just want you all to be careful out there and don't forget that what you are driving can kill in an instant.

The newspaper this morning said there were no fatalities in the accident - thank goodness!


A Day at the Lake, No Piece of Cake

Posted by barefut , 16 August 2008 · 711 views

I thought a day at the lake was in order since it was going to be a hot one. So trading in mountains of dirty laundry, dirty dishes and doggie mess for mountains of evergreens, I loaded up 'ol Betsy and headed out to pick up Ryan's friend and we were on our way. Right after we got the mail, finally returned All Star baseball uniforms, stopped at the grocery store for ice and water, and the deli mart for sandwiches. THEN we were on our way. Half-way there, another stop at the discount store for $3 floatie toys and vitamins then it was next stop, THE LAKE!!!

Finally there, all 3 boys took off like rockets towards the water, leaving me in a cloud of dust and juggling dog on a leash, beach bag, towels, life jacket and cooler. It was easily 95 degrees in the shade and I was sweating buckets. At least there was a breeze.......blowing my hair in my face and I didn't see the tree stump and stubbed my big toe, with the ingrown toenail. Yea, "ouch" but that's not what I said.

Okay, so found a nice spot beside the dock where I could put cooler and dog in the shade and keep an eye on the big boys jumping off the end of the dock - if it weren't for the 2 speed boats tied up out there and the dozen or so people camped out with beers in hand. After about a half hour, I spied an empty spot near some wooden lounge chairs and a driftwood log. Sun, shade, close to the parking lot, bathrooms and out of the line of sight of the strange woman who kept staring at me.

Ahhh, all settled - again. "Mom will you blow this up?" "What?!" Oh well, what's another PFT? I huffed and puffed until I saw stars and decided I was going to reap some of the rewards of this floatie if I was doing all the work. Little one donned his life jacket and we launched ourselves out into the crystal clear, sparkling blue water, but not without a bit of squealing on my part as the cold water flowed over my back.

Floating on an air matress on a beautiful lake surrounded by mountains of trees.....this is the life. I could have just fallen asleep out there - if it weren't for the speed boats making wake and my 6 year old splashing me. Well, maybe some other time. What did I expect on the hottest day of summer on the 2nd to last Saturday before school starts when I didn't even get to the lake until after noon - the place to be empty? All those people are just lucky that I share my special spot with them ;)


Sacrificial Rose

Posted by barefut , 11 August 2008 · 755 views

Weeds, disease and garden pests - AGH! I can't keep up with it! Watering my "gardens" (weed patches) tonight (a little late) I couldn't believe how fast and how many weeds popped up since I was in the garden last. How long ago was it? Seems like only last week but may well have been 2 or even 3 weeks ago - I don't know. All I know is I obviously can't keep up with it.

I have often wondered why I even keep the rosebush by the front door, which every year becomes ridden with disease and pests. Tonight it came to me that, that's why. It's a sacrificial rosebush, meant to be dinner for garden pests so that my other plants may live.

Kinda sad really but I hate using chemicals in my gardens. So my pathetic little martyr of a rosebush does its best every year until disease takes it over and I prune it to the ground. Now each spring it comes back with more and more buds than the year before, as if trying to prove something. You have to admire that.


Procrastination and Reflux

Posted by barefut , 30 July 2008 · 703 views

I am finding that I am starting to use blogging as a procrastination exercise when I should be doing something else. Just like in college when I suddenly decided it was crucial that I do the laundry or clean my room when I really should have been studying. I got a lot of organizing done that way.

I sit here bleary eyed and heavy headed with the clock pushing midnight and the acid pushing up my throat. I haven't even laid down yet and I ate an early dinner. I am going to blame this on my meds that I just took 20 minutes ago. Seems I can drink a gallon of water with them and still sometimes the acid flows. I don't know what's worse, the acid or the hung-over feeling I'll have tomorrow from the lack of sleep tonight.


Anyway, what I should be doing instead of procrastablogging is filing my giant piles of paper stuff. Where does all that stuff come from anyway?! Everyday on my To-Do list is "File the Pile" but it only seems to grow bigger and bigger like a science experiment gone bad.

But now my hip is cramping so I'd better just ease gently into my poor old broken down recliner -or what's left of it (we have a lot in common, my recliner and I; partly why I can't get rid of it I guess) and try some biofeedback on this reflux. Maybe it will work; it never hurts to try...

Acid go back~Acid go back~Acid go back..........

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