I just went in and took down the last remnants of anything "preschool". I cried like a baby - still am crying. I miss it so much. I didn't know how much. It's hard to look at anything we did last year. The "All About Me" assignments with the kids' photos, the holiday crafts, the books we read all snuggled up on the couch together.
I miss our circle time songs, our deep conversations at snack and lunch time, the lessons about manners and sharing and recycling and safety. The day the firemen came and brought the fire truck and aid car, field trips to the library and out to ice-cream, show and tell...I miss it all. I especially miss the kids.
I've never been good at accepting that things change. I watched the town I grew up in change from quiet suburb to bustling city. People we care about change and move away. Kids grow up and lose their innocence all too soon. Sooner nowadays than when I grew up. I was still playing with dolls at age 13. Thirteen year olds nowadays are just way too big for their britches (did I really just say that?) - and their britches are way too small for them by the way.
I guess I'm getting old. That, I can accept. I just hate to see things and people I love change or go away. If I could have one wish. I would wish that I could time travel whenever I wanted. I would go back in time and hold my baby boys, and nurse them, and sing them to sleep - the lullaby I made up for them. And I would dance with them in the kitchen, holding them on my hip, sing the "dancing with my baby" song I made up and give them the dip and laugh when they squealed with delight.
But I can only time travel in my mind. So I will blow my nose and wipe my tears and save the memories for a rainy day.
My preschool may be no more but I can put it on my list of things I've always wanted to do - and did.