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My Hand Cream is Safe (from Me at Least)

Posted by Penny , 15 April 2009 · 1,113 views

As I sit glaring in mute frustration at my foe, the safety wrapper on a new tube of skin cream, I have to wonder just who is being kept safe here.

Everything you buy these days is glued, sealed, shrink wrapped and welded shut to prevent product tampering and while I can fully understand that this is a necessary evil in today’s world, I also know that it makes life so much more difficult for me, the end consumer.

I have considered tossing such things to Loki, my faithful service dog, and see if he could just gnaw a little on the “perforated lines for easy opening” and get it started for me, but he refuses that task since he learned as a puppy that chewing was a definite no-no. Sigh…

So, off I go, scraping that clear plastic fortress on the counter-top then biting at it myself (Loki is appalled and decides he wants nothing to do with this and heads elsewhere so he does not get the blame) until finally I get a small opening in the hand cream citadel’s defenses. Success!

Full of self indulgent pride over defeating the mighty foe I toss the plastic in the trash and flip open the cap to squeeze some cream onto my palm—and nothing happens.

A quick visual inspection shows that there is a tiny silver foil covering welded to the opening and my thoughts fly to tossing the thing on the ground and rolling over it repeatedly with the wheelchair until it is destroyed. This means war -- survival of the fittest and to the victor goes the spoils. This would also mean that I would be sitting on the floor for hours trying to get hand cream out of the carpet.

So, instead I will sit here with dry hands and simply place it on the counter and admit defeat until my reserve unit comes home from work, that opener of pickle jars and slayer of spiders. Meanwhile, I have a Chihuahua to coax out from under the couch and apologize to.

October 2016

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