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Really Really Bad Day


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#1 barefut

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Posted 22 February 2007 - 01:47 PM

Just a really REALLY bad day today. It started out bad from the get go and snowballed from there. It's been one of those days where no matter how much you try to focus on the little good things that happened, the bad stuff just kept on coming and getting bigger and badder.

It was the kind of day that makes you think, well, nothing ELSE could POSSIBLY go wrong and yet it does and in the worst possible way. I bend over backwards to accomodate everyone else's schdules and everyone else's delicate feelings and when I need MY feelings or MY schedule taken into consideration everybody acts like THEY are victims. And then to have to endure their snide remarks and unjustified personal attacks ....well it was just too much.

Then when I realized that I don't even have any girlfriends to call up and unload on without feeling guilty or pathetic, I of course turned to my message board in tears.

It was the kind of day that makes me question what I'm doing with my life even though I have never felt better and more on track lately. I know these days happen to us all but it hasn't happened to me in a long time maybe that's why its throwing me for such a loop.

It just seemed that the universe was against me. In the midst of one of my battles with people today, I found it ironic that it was my soon-to-be ex husband who was in my corner. The only other person who didn't give me any grief today was my hand therapist. She was great and made me feel really good about myself and how I'm dealing with this disease and my life.

I guess that's a good note to leave this on so I will stop now. My hands have been totally purple for the past 2 hours from the stress and I need to get them into some warm water.

Thanks for 'listening'
Here's to better days tomorrow.
Barefut

#2 Sweet

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Posted 22 February 2007 - 02:03 PM

Hey Barefut,

You have me in tears. I'm so sorry today was such a struggle and you had to deal with others meanness.

I hope you can take care and give yourself the TLC that you need tonight and that tomorrow will be a better day.
Warm and gentle hugs,

Pamela
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International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

#3 Heidi

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Posted 22 February 2007 - 02:25 PM

Hi Barefut,

I am so sorry you had such a rotten day......no fun at all! I am glad to see you ended your post on a positive note. Keep up that positive attitude and I hope everything looks better tomorrow!

Warm wishes,
Heidi

#4 janey

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Posted 22 February 2007 - 03:29 PM

Barefut,
(((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
It's sad that days like this have to happen but you know we are always here for you. Brew a cup of black tea to help relieve some of that stress and think of tomorrow being a MUCH better day.
Big Hugs,
Janey

#5 jefa

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Posted 22 February 2007 - 11:07 PM

Hi Barefut,

I was just thinking the other day about the first posts of yours I had read on the old forum and how low you seemed at the time. I was noticing how long it has been since that time and how positive your posts had become since then. Of course it is not the sort of thing you would call to someone's attention, fearing that it might jinx things! Anyway, it is not unusual for us to have our ups and downs, even when your physical symptoms may be improving. At least you have this forum to come to. It is good that your ex-to-be is being more supportive -- take your friends wherever you can find them.

I don't say much, but I do read the posts in this forum daily and always find that you have something interesting and worthwhile to add. Hope you are feeling a bit better now.

hugs,

jefa

#6 susie54

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Posted 23 February 2007 - 01:13 AM

Hi Barefut,

Sorry your day went from nowhere on down. It's a spiraling feeling on those days and I think we all get them. I don't think I would know what to do if I could not come here and feel someone would understand. Hope you feel better today and HUGGGG!!!!!!!!!Susie54

#7 Margaret

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Posted 23 February 2007 - 02:57 AM

Hi Barefut ,

If it makes you fell any better, I also had a really bad day yesterday with a visit to Gareth's rheumatologist and reports from his PFT that he has restrictive lung disease. His rheumatologist. said Dr Medsger is 'big' on d-Penacilliam (sp) but from what I have read on that drug, it will either kill you or cure you. I wish I lived near you and I would reach out and give you a much needed hug of support. I went to the info on PFT tests and read up last night. His Pediatrian is the one who called me with the reports on his PFT and said he's glad Gareth has an appt with Dr Medgser. I can understand why you all have bouts of depression....I am getting so bummed myself and I don't even have Sclero.
You are all in my thoughts. My heart goes out to all of you and your extended families. This disease is definitely one that affects every member of the family.....from those afflicted, to spouses and to young kids who don't quite understand why Mom can't do things with them.
Take care, Everyone.
Margaret

#8 nan

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Posted 23 February 2007 - 03:24 AM

Barefut,
The sun is shining brightly here!!! I hope that the sun is shining where you are and that you have a great day today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A hug to you,
Nan

#9 Clementine

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Posted 23 February 2007 - 03:37 AM

Dear Barefut,
Oh Sweetie, I am soooo sorry to hear about your day. I can only hope things got better or at least you are doing better now. When it rains it pours, right?

How are things today? I am so thankful everytime I log on to this site because I do not know where I'd be today if I did not have everyone here to vent to and ask questions you can't ask anyone else.

I really do not have anyone else I can vent to either but I"d say if I wanted to vent to anyone it would be you all! We're here for you Sweetie Pie.

Post us soon and let us know how you are.
xo
Jennifer D (there are two of us now :) )

#10 debonair susie

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Posted 23 February 2007 - 02:51 PM

Oh Barefut....Just like the rest of your friends here.... I sure hope that your day went better.. today. I also hope that the sun is shining and will keep on shining over you.

Take care of yourself and please give us a shout and let us know how you're doing?

Big Hugs, Susie
Special Hugs,

Susie Kraft
ISN Support Specialist
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International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

#11 emmie

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Posted 23 February 2007 - 06:20 PM

Hi Barefut,

I, too, hope your day was better today. I figure it was because if nothing else, today is Friday. If you have another bad day on a Thursday, remind yourself that Thursday is Friday Eve. A bad day on Wednesday can be neutralized with a reminder that tomorrow, Thursday, is Friday Eve.

Now if you get a bad day on a Monday, you simply deal with it because we all know that Mondays are destined to be horrible simply because they are Mondays and we'd rather stay in bed. Tuesdays that go bad can be dealt with by reminding yourself that hey, tomorrow, Wednesday is the day I can start anticipating Friday Eve.

If you're not totally confused by now and if I haven't totally messed the whole thing up, you might have a method of dealing with the blues on any of the 5 days of the typical work week. If you get a bad day on Sat. I'd say just indulge in it. If you get one on Sun. then I think a little self discipline is in order so at least you'll be able to follow the 5 day work week plan.

Best Wishes - Hope you're feeling better!

xoxo emmie

#12 barefut

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Posted 24 February 2007 - 08:55 PM

Well Thanks Girlfriends!

Yes, my yesterday went much better.

There were three big "challenges" for me on Thursday. I kept asking myself what in the world am I supposed to learn from all of this?! The one thought that kept coming back to me was that I should just "let it go". It was hard, but I did and I feel better.

Learning to let some things go IS something that has been hard for me especially where there is injustice. I have always carried an over developed sensitivity to justice and fairness. (Comes from not getting any as a child.) So it was another challenge to recognize that this was one of those times it would be best to just let it go.

Funny thing (weird, sort of creepy thing) - my 4 year old said that out of the blue lastnight when he was watching TV, "Let it go, just let it go" I asked him what made him say that but he didn't have an answer. That confirmed to me that I was doing the right thing, letting it go. And today I didn't even think about Thursday's challenges.

*SIGH*

Thanks again for your kind sympathy and words of encouragement. Love you all!

Barefut