WARNING - UNPLEASANT TOPIC
The reason I am here is I need to know if anyone else has had this happen because of this disease.
Last night I was laying in bed with my husband and pets. All of a sudden without warning I realized that I was "going". I immediately jumped out of bed. I couldn't stop it. My husband ran and got some towels. It was literally pouring out. I finally just tried to use the towels to get to the bathroom. I got in the shower and it still continued. I had NO CONTROL.
The sclero has robbed me of what "was" my life. What I can't stand happening is what it does to my husband. Every day he calls me numerous times to see how I am doing. He sees me in pain; he sees me not being able to eat due to horrible nausea and pain whether it's by mouth or by infusion; he sees me so tired all of the time and even has to keep nudging me awake at worship services. But for him to have to clean up after me is just too much. He couldn't change the kids diapers without having to throw up.
I feel just terrible for putting him thru this. So now what? Do I dare to go anywhere? Do I keep a diaper on? What kind of life is this to live for me and more importantly for my husband?! I have no motility in my esophagus and no motility in my stomach. I was told it will go thru my digestive system. So is this what happens when it goes thru my intestines? All I know is I am so tired.
The last year-and-half it has been one thing after another. But this issue is too much. The "in sickness and health" shouldn't mean this for my husband. I am at such a dark place. Any input would be appreciated.