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Doctors And Their Egos

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#1 americanmike


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Posted 31 March 2007 - 05:32 PM

How many times have you read the posts or gone in yourself to see that Dr's hate educated patients or anyone who reads the "internet"

How presumptuous, condescending, and ignorantly stuck up are they!!!!

Doing research on the most important thing in your life... (your health especially when you face a deadly disease) is 100% rational and the smart thing to do.

Dr's need to know that their patients will be reading up and not oblivious when they come in for consult. Of course we're not experts but the desire to learn and be involved in your health is a no-brainer.

Do accountants get mad when you read up before a meeting. Do financial advisers mock their clients who research companies and stocks?

Why do doctors hate patients who want to know more and who don't trust 100% one mans opinion on something so precious as their life and health.

I just want to say... "get over yourself!!!! You are not Soooo smart and sooo thurough that we can just rest assured that you'll get it all 100% right. If someone told you to cross a busy street without looking.... would you????? Of course not, you'd want to check for yourself before risking your life. Well, I'm just shocked that any Dr. would not understand the desire to find info and be involved.

As if Doctors never make mistakes, or that every doctor knows all there is to know. We all know people are human and mistakes are made. We all know many doctors aren't aware of all the latest options, treatments or state of the art info on medical conditions especially rare disease.

Time magazine did a story on hospital and medical care and found that 50% of the time mistakes are made in patient care.

If a doctor doesn't know how to explain things to you, educate you and hear you out. If a doctor is angered or threatened by your knowledge even if it comes from that new fangled contraption called the "I-N-T-E-R-N-E-T" I say they are probably not good doctors.

Some of these doctors thing their "House" but many are so imcompetant you're you would be amazed.

I'm not anti doctor. I just think there are way too many bad ones, and they better learn to work with educated patients.

Michael In Florida

#2 beverly


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Posted 31 March 2007 - 06:11 PM

Dear Michael,

I'm so sorry, it's sounds as if you just had a visit. Mine is next week and it is always fifty/fifty on how I am going to walk out. Either feeling like a class project(because they really don't know what to do for you) or they just went to a conference and have heard something new for you to try(Ususally something you have allready read on the INTERNET).

I completely believe in being an advocate for your health, who else is going to. How crazy is it to walk into a car dealer without some information?

Communication is a must have in a Dr/patient relationship, maybe its time to find one that will listen as well as talk, they are out there.

Good luck and I will let you know how mine goes next week.


#3 jaateach


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Posted 01 April 2007 - 01:00 AM

Hi, I'm joe and very new to this site and very new to the world of diagnosis.
You could not be more right. INFORMATION IS POWER> Dr's who do not appreciate the info that u come in with are control freaks who get off on having all the pwer. WHen I first started experiencing symptoms I was in my mid 20's and dr's treated me like I was crazy and because I was so young I just stopped seeking medical care. My symptoms would relapse/rmission cycle on me and I was totally alone and even that was not as bad as how dr's made me feel. I did not go back to a dr. until I lnaded in the hosptial this past year. A span of 20 years went by. So, unhealthy ego's in any walk of life are a destructive, place an ugly ego in the way of some one fighting for their life and.... well, u said it all better than I can. Keep doing what u do. get the info, ask the questions. in the end it is our right and our duty to ourselves. When I go to a new dr. for any reason now, I make it clear on the first appt. thayt I am here to interview them.
I am in the market for a primary and I\ve been through 2 in the past few months. I tell them right up front this is what I expect from u and this is what I'll bring to the table. well so far 2 in a row were intimidated so I left without becomming their patient. At this point I have no time to dilly dally with such childish junk. You are here to serve my needs, I am not here to serve your ego. Anyway, sorry for the rant but you touched a deep one for me. Be well, ciao Joe

#4 barefut


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Posted 01 April 2007 - 04:08 AM

Very well said Mike! I agree 100%!


#5 WestCoast1


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Posted 01 April 2007 - 09:51 AM

Hello Mike,
This is a very touchy subject. The fact being that we do rely on the Dr.s knowlege to bring us back to health. It may be that some Dr.s find their patients relying soly on what they read and hear about. As patients in pain we are seeking immediate relief, this is not something that Dr.s can give us....especially with an autoimmune dissorder. If there was one thing that a Dr. could write me a perscription for, it is patients. I have been waiting for a Dr.s diagnosis for so long....i have read all I can read, I "play the game" by putting what I know in the back of my head and truly listening to what the Dr. has to say. I ask many questions at my apointment, and I just have faith that one day the Dr.s will find the right clue that leads them to a correct diagnosis.

I feel your frustration. I think it is something that we all experience.


#6 nan


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Posted 01 April 2007 - 11:07 AM

Just this past week I was discussing with someone how I had to find a new rheumatologist because I freak mine out because I know more about scleroderma than he does and he won't listen to me. When he couldn't decide whether I had Sjogren's or Scleroderma he said it really didn't matter because you just treat the symptons. Well, scleroderma is somewhat different from Sjogren's. I finally made it to Johns Hopkins and found out that I have both, plus Fibromyalgia. I agree with you 100%.
Take Care!

#7 Sweet


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Posted 01 April 2007 - 12:03 PM

Hi Mike,

I can relate to what you are saying all to well. I've been in the medical field for 25 years. I have come across a lot of great doctors that are truly in the business for the right reason. On the other hand there are those that chose to go into the field to toot their own horn so to speak. They have a level of superiority about them, and do not like being questioned - they are doctors after all!

You do have your facts correct in that only 50% of the time does a doctor truly knows what he/she is doing. The rest is an "educated guess". Another tidbit of trivia is that a patient will pick a doctor based more on their bedside manner than their knowledge - after all it is nice to be "heard" and have someone truly listen and care about you, more so than if you think they are a brilliant doctor that has all of the answers. (according to the doctor anyway).

However for those of us that truly need doctors in our lives, it leaves us with quite the plight.....in search of the one we can "live" with and feel we can relate to in order to better our health.

I say life is too short. If you have a doctor that just isn't doing it for you - get rid of them if possible and seek out one that cares about taking care of the patient, not just their own ego.
Warm and gentle hugs,

ISN Support Specialist
International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

#8 Vee


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Posted 01 April 2007 - 02:08 PM

Hi Mike,

I guess I've been fortunate in this area, I've only once had a doctor give me the "Oh, this one likes to read on the net" attitude. I just calmly told him "You obviously never had to fight for your life!, What did you think I was gonna do? Trust someone else with my life?" Well, that pretty much shut him up, but he was humbled enough to tell me that I was right and he was sorry. That was my general practitioner, and my specialists seem to be able to read me. My rheumatologist actually tells me "Your homework tonight is ..................." (meaning she expects me to research whichever drug she is considering using for me) and the next time I go in to see her, we discuss it. It works out well, so far. I've also been told that I am an intimidating patient! Go figure!
My advice to anyone going to see the doctor's is to have confindence and let them know that you want to take part in the decision making aspect of your life. Hear them out and hopefully they will return the action with closed open ears.

Stay strong! and Positive! And don't forget to laugh! :lol:
Happy people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have!

Warm and Happy to you! Vee

#9 Guest_Sherrill_*

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Posted 01 April 2007 - 04:20 PM

Boy, do I ever relate to everything said on this thread! At the start I went through 4 different general practitioner's and 3 rheumies before I settled on the ones I now see.

I also see a nephrologist, as I have renal failure with dialysis. That has been for over 6 years now, and as he has come to know me and understand where I'm coming from, we have developed a very good working relationship. He knows now that I question anything I am not happy with, and also that I research the Internet, which he is OK about as long as I research reputable websites, and peer reviewed papers.

I just saw him last Friday for my 6 monthly check. My BP has been a problem for some time now. One of the BP meds I take, Cardura, (also known as Doxazosin), has a greater risk of heart failure, strokes and some other cardiac effects! Ugh! But seeing I've done the rounds, and can't take any of the others except what I am on for other reasons, I am taking the risk. It's actually only a fourth choice for BP.

But......... last month I found the Cardura was making my BP spike all over the place! Seems it also increases anxiety and nervousness, and as I have always been a bit like that, I didn't need it reinforced! Only puts the BP up with the side effects! So........ I cautiously experimented (on my own) with dosages and times of dosing. I brought the dosage down from 6mg to 4 mg, and instead of a divided dose, I.e. morn and eve, I only take it in the evening now. I made a graph of my BP, before and after the alterations, and it was pretty conclusive. Before showed all spikes, and after was almost steady, barring when I ate some salty Chinese, and it messed up my dialysis, and also BP! :-( I presented the nephrologist with the graphs, and he was convinced, and actually quite fascinated. (I don't think many patients come in with graphs of their BP! LOL!) Taking it in the evening also has nearly stopped me feeling somewhat zombie-ish most of the day too! Ha ha!

But I think he now realizes that I don't do this sort of thing lightly, and exercise due caution. He has even given me leave to monitor the dosage I have of EPO, an injectable hormone to counter the effects of renal failure anemia. THAT was quite a coup for me!! So far it's working well.

When I first met this doctor I was quite scared of him, as I had heard he didn't suffer fools gladly. But now he cracks jokes, and we get on well, with him putting my results up on the computer screen, and we both have a discussion about them. But I've had to earn his respect!

But I really don't advise anyone to blithely change their medications or dosages without generally checking with their doctors first!

Warm hugs,

#10 americanmike


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Posted 05 April 2007 - 05:34 PM

Thanks everyone. Reading all your responses made me feel............... uh................................................................

well, madder than ever :angry:

how true what everyone said, and how terrible that patients need to put up with so much incompetence!!

My favorite quote is from V

"Well you obviously never had to fight for your life." And let um have it with did you really expect me not to try to research what might kill me.

That is the ultimate solution for all the doctors who give sclero patients any flack. Thanks V you are ingenious!!!!!

Michael in Florida

#11 Claudia-DR


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Posted 09 April 2007 - 04:20 AM

Hi there! I guess I'm lucky that no Dr. has ever gotten upset because I do a bit of research. Dr. Wigley once even printed out something from the Internet for me. I really can't complain...



#12 ErinF


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Posted 09 April 2007 - 05:43 AM

My general practitioner actually encouraged me to research on the internet, with a gentle reminder that a lot of what's on there are worst case scenarios. When I was having a particularly bad time coping with the diagnosis, I made another appt. and we talked about what I had read on the internet, and she wasn't mad in the slightest or perturbed or anything. In fact, when she first walked in and I blurted out that I was having a hard time because of everything I'd read on the internet she said, "Oh, I'll bet you've been on almost 24 hours a day. We need a computer intervention." But she said it with kindness. She makes me copies of everything she prints out from her medline account and wants me to be as educated possible. I wish she were a rheumatologist!!! Anyway, she didn't tell me to stop reading, but she did say (as Shelly and Mike on here have said as well) that reading too much will stress me out and stress can exacerbate the disease--that last thing I need. She prescribed an anti-anxiety drug for me to help out a bit, and just said one more time as I was leaving that everyone is different and that what I read on the internet isn't in any way a guarantee of how the disease (if I even truly have it) would progress in me. I wish she could be your doctor too! I'd love to be able to do some Star Trek kung fu and send her to all of you when you need a doctor who is respectful and caring. You know, my "new patient" appt. with her lasted 2 1/2 hours--that's right, she spent 2 1/2 hours with me. Sat on the floor, spread the last 10 years of my medical records out on the floor in front of her and said, "Let's figure this out together!" I'm realizing more and more how fortunate I am, at least at this stage!

Warm hugs,