I also find it strangely comforting to say, "It is what it is." Actually, when I first heard the saying, I had a knee-jerk bad reaction to it. I suppose I must have been thinking, oh no, you can *always* change things for the better!
But much to my everlasting dismay, it isn't possible to change the vast majority of things in life, and I've done myself a lot of harm by trying. It is probably a matter of thinking or hoping that we have more control than we really do.
I've not only wasted energies on worrying too much, but I also have a "watched pot" mentality. I can actually stare at food cooking, or the computer cranking away, and think that somehow by mere force of will, it will cook or compute faster! Or that by being impatient, it will somehow speed up a tardy friend.
Being human means we get to spend huge amounts of time being silly gooses, doesn't it? I've found some success by telling myself over and over that I'm resilient. It's a good word to me, as it acknowledges that there is, indeed, something there that could use some overcoming, either a major tragedy or a minor irritating thing, and it helps me find or create the emotional wherewithal to deal with it. Happily, resilience can entail some crying and even some worrying, if we still overall keep our eye on the ball, which is that we are resilient, so we can figure out a way to deal. Eventually!
I do believe that some of us are just not naturally worriers. And then again, there are people like me. Even videos from my childhood show me as being cranky, tearful and in dire need of a nap! So what comes naturally to many for me has required an awful lot of study and unrelenting practice.
One thing I've picked up on is that all of us are continually scanning our environment, and we are always assessing it as to whether it holds promises or threats. The amazing thing is that we can exert control over which aspect we are going to focus on!
So I could, for example, look out my window and see a tree. If I wanted to, I could consider the fact that the tree is probably home to hundreds of spiders, maybe some of them poisonous. It could be suffering dry rot, and about to topple over into my house and land on me during the next high wind. It might harbor a squirrel, and the squirrel might be rabid! Maybe the squirrel will bite me on my way to the car, so perhaps I should stay inside. For the rest of my life. Plus, the tree could be sawed down, and made into weapons, and someone could attack me with them!
Or, I could consider that it is a lovely tree. I could listen to the harmony of the birds singing away, accompanied by the gentle rustling of the leaves. I could recall the joy of climbing trees when I was younger, and how I had rescued the neighbor's stray cat who was too scaredy-cat to come down! Why, altogether, it could lead me to imagining all the endless joys and mysteries of the universe, and being astonished at how even the sun managed to rise this morning, even though I had not spent a moment mentally urging it along.
I have free choice and an imagination. I can use it to my benefit, and the benefit of the human race, or not. My pick entirely, and my choice from one minute to the next.
So maybe "it is what it is", or maybe it is...only what I make of it, for better, or for worse.