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#21 Vee

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Posted 05 February 2008 - 04:58 AM

Tears in my eyes, arms open for you.

I'm sorry

xo Vee
Happy people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have!

Warm and Happy to you! Vee

#22 Sweet

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Posted 05 February 2008 - 05:07 AM

Thank you Vee. I so appreciate it.
Warm and gentle hugs,

Pamela
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#23 barefut

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Posted 22 February 2008 - 10:41 PM

How have you been doing Pam?

Have you been able to spend more time with your grands lately?

Just thinking of you,
Love,
Barefut

#24 Cheri

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Posted 23 February 2008 - 10:20 AM

Hi Pam,

All I can say, is I understand. When my grandchildren moved from California to Washington, which is not near as far as yours, I thought I would die. I cried and cried and cried. I know from experience there is nothing anybody can say, all you want to do is be with them. I love the saying, "If I had known how great grandchildren are, I would have had them first." As much as I love my children and are close to them, grandchildren are a whole new world. I think Peanut's idea of a webcam is a good idea. Even though you won't get to cuddle and kiss them, it will still be a way of keeping in touch and you can do this much moreso than on the phone. Plus, it will keep you real in their life, and keep you involved in theirs. Lots of hugs to you -

Cheri

#25 Sweet

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Posted 23 February 2008 - 10:57 AM

Barefut,

I'm hanging in there. Still break into tears just at the thought of it. I actually have both of the grand babies right now that will be moving. so, getting in all the time I can!!!

Cheri,
You are so right about the feelings...... We did get a webcam and my son just ordered a pc with a webcam, so we're going to practice on them before they live.....wish I could reach right into the pc and get/give hugs!

Thanks guy for caring.
Warm and gentle hugs,

Pamela
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International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

#26 peanut

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Posted 23 February 2008 - 02:50 PM

I just got my webcam and got to chat with my brother who I haven't seen in 2 years. It was so wonderful to see him. We hug the camera... it's funny.

It's not the same as in person but you will enjoy it...
peanut

You can deprive the body but the soul needs chocolate
my HMO makes me wear a helmet...

#27 Sweet

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Posted 26 February 2008 - 09:14 AM

Oh Lisa, thanks for the encouragement! What program do you use to chat? Maybe you and I could try it??
Warm and gentle hugs,

Pamela
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International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

#28 Sweet

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Posted 20 March 2008 - 01:25 PM

Hi, Just wanted to give you a little update. The sale of my son's house is final. They move in with us next week for about 6 weeks before they move to New Zealand. My depression over this has not lifted. I cry everyday and it's hard to keep it in check. For the sake of my son and my grand daughters I hope that I can keep things a bit more upbeat while they are here. The 4 year old is having a really really hard time with it all and said she's not moving unless I go. So I've had to put up a brave front and tell her how fun it's going to be and how she'll get to see her other grandma and grandpa and cousins. (my daughter in law is from there, so all of her family is there)

Anyway, needless to say while they are here everything else will be pushed to the back burner. So I may not be on here as much.

I did download Skype and that is what we are going to use to chat/see each other. We'll practice with it over the next few weeks to make sure we get it down. Jen and I are going to be skype buddies as well.

Love you all and thanks for all your kind words and support.
Warm and gentle hugs,

Pamela
ISN Support Specialist
International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

#29 jefa

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Posted 20 March 2008 - 01:52 PM

Oh, Pam - I did not realise your daughter-in-law was going to be where her family lives. It does make things a little different to know that there will be people there who are close to her. I am sure she will gain much from seeing them again. I know it will be hard for you. I grew up in a military family and we had to move a lot. I was also in the service as was my daughter and son-in-law. As a result, we have had many separations in various ways and forms. I got to know my own mother best when I lived on the other side of the USA from her. Now I am on the other side of the world. My daughter lived in Okinawa for 6 years. The experience was enriching for her and her family.

The world is a lot smaller now than it used to be. The spirit we all share is not limited to physical contact. You will find many ways to make contact. My son in California called me on Skype last weekend and wants me to join, too. I will let you know when I have connected. Hugs to you, Sweetie.
Warm wishes,
Jefa

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#30 Sweet

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Posted 20 March 2008 - 02:29 PM

Thanks Carrie,

Your words of wisdom mean more than you know. Let me know when you have skype and we'll skype each other!!
Warm and gentle hugs,

Pamela
ISN Support Specialist
International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

#31 Sweet

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Posted 07 June 2008 - 06:46 PM

Well the time has come and my son and his family left for NZ yesterday. I've done nothing but cry/sob. After having them here for 9 weeks, I feel so lost. I have rambled through my house picking up toys, changing sheets, going through the clothes and toys they ended up not taking with them...... I burst into tears and the littlest thing, the drawings left on my desk, the smell of them through my house. It feels like someone has died and I'm cleaning up the mess. I know in time it will get better, but for now it's all too overwhelming.



Please keep me in your thoughts, I need the strength.
Warm and gentle hugs,

Pamela
ISN Support Specialist
International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

#32 barefut

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Posted 07 June 2008 - 07:36 PM

Oh Pam,

You're making me cry. I can imagine the hole in your heart and the emptiness you feel. It must be just too quiet there for you. I wish I could zip over the mountains and hug you.

When I had to close my preschool I left things alone for months, putting off the painful task of clearing out the craft room and putting away/selling the toys. One day I just threw up my emotional brick wall and dove into it. Once it was all finally out of sight it was better. But there were many tears.

Your situation is far more emotionally draining than mine was. I'm glad you know it will get better but in the meantime I know you must feel so depressed. Please keep an eye on that. Stay connected with friends and loved ones.

I will be thinking of you and sending you strength and peace.

Love you!

#33 jefa

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Posted 07 June 2008 - 09:57 PM

Yes, Pam, it will get better. I now have a huge bulletin board, a hanging photo ladder with little clips on the crosswires and two magnetic whiteboards. They are now nearly covered with stuff - letters, cards, pictures. When my son visited last year on his own, he nearly cried seeing all the pictures and letters from his own kids. I love talking to them on the phone when I can. I keep in email communication with all of the adults and play online games with two of them. You will find ways to cope. Just remember that as bad as you feel right now, they are expanding their lives and it should be a celebration of life opportunities. I suggest you get yourself into some personal activity to create your own opportunites for growth.
Warm wishes,
Jefa

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#34 Peggy

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Posted 08 June 2008 - 04:34 PM

I can't imagine what your going through only knowing that the hurt is so bad. I am so sorry and I just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts and I hope each day gets better. If you need to cry then cry. Tears heal the soul they say and you need to let it happen. Remember all of the good times and plan for the good times yet to come. I have a son in Afghanistan and there isn't a day or a minute or an hour that goes by that I just want him back home where I can hug him. But like you, I remember the times we had and plan for the times we will have. I really hope each day is better for you. You are too good of a person to suffer and you have enough to deal with regarding your health that you need to take care of yourself. Blessings to you.

Warm hugs,

Peggy

#35 debonair susie

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Posted 09 June 2008 - 06:53 AM

Aaaahh, Sweet...

Honey, I'm so sorry the kids and kidlets have left, but I'm so glad you have had this time to spend withthem.

Savor the smells, keep those precious pictures in full view and be good to yourself.

Soft Hugs,
Susie
Special Hugs,

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#36 Sweet

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Posted 09 June 2008 - 11:33 AM

Thanks everyone. Each day is getting a little easier, but I still cry daily. I'm sure that is normal. I have been keeping myself busy putting my house back together and cleaning it. Frankly that will take weeks. :) My local friends have been great in keeping me busy and finding fun things to do. I know it'll be a bit easier once they get their computer hooked up and we can skype and see each other online!!!



Don't know what I would do without you guys.
Warm and gentle hugs,

Pamela
ISN Support Specialist
International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

#37 debonair susie

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Posted 10 June 2008 - 02:42 AM

Isn't it great to have good friends?!

skype...this is the first time I've heard that... and I LOVE it!!

Thanks for letting us know how your're doing.

Hugs,
Susie
Special Hugs,

Susie Kraft
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