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Mid-life Crisis


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#1 KarenL

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Posted 22 January 2008 - 11:37 AM

Hi all,

Next week is my (gulp) 50th birthday! I'm trying really hard to be positive, I had a heart attack at age 47 and at that time I was thinking "wow, I can't believe I'm not even gonna get to 50"! Then I had two more heart attacks! I know I should be greatful to be alive and I AM! But...Well, here it comes and I'm feeling weird. I don't feel 50, I don't think I even look 50, I don't think like what I think 50 thinks like! When I think of 50 I think of old lady school teachers in pull on pants who need to retire! LOL...Not me!!! I still think of myself as a fun loving hippe girl from the 70's!

I hate the fat roll(s), the wrinkles, the grey hairs here and there (!) on my body. The loss of libido, the night sweats. The men who look at me because they are all old, and not young studs anymore! All this and the number 50 too! Sorry to rant, with everything else it just seems crazy for this to be bothering me at all. I guess it's just female vanity, or some other unattractive thing. Thanks for listening.....how have any of you handled this birthday with grace?

Peace,
Karen

#2 truman

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Posted 22 January 2008 - 12:05 PM

Karen:

I'm 52 (still doesn't sound right when I say it), and I can't quite get the feel of what the "fifties" should feel like. I mean, I always knew how to be 30+ and 40+, but just can't get a handle on this 50 thing. :blink:

The mind is forever going in the 20-30 arena, but then I realize the body isn't catching up.

Stranger for me is that I still run in the circle of my high school friends (quite a large circle), as we all basically stayed put in the same town or returned as we got older. They don't look 50+ either.

I was just awoken from a nap by the doctor's office calling. A "nap". I remember staying out all night and coming home to change clothes to go to work when I was in my 20s.

So, you're not alone. I think once you hit 50, you never quite get used to the progression. I guess that's why most people stop counting birthdays at 29. :D
Tru

It is what it is...........

#3 Sherion

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Posted 22 January 2008 - 02:39 PM

This is going to be hard for me to say and it's gonna hurt but, I'm , GULP, 60!!!!! Ouch, that really hurt LOL. I know exactly how you feel!!! Just be good to yourself, it'll be fine. LOL

Sherion

#4 jefa

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Posted 22 January 2008 - 11:23 PM

I'm 60 also and I got married for the second time when I was 50. When I was 48, I saw an interview of George Burns after his 100th birthday (he died later that year). When I listened to him tell his stories with so much life and energy, I said to myself, "Hey, I haven't even lived half as long as him -- what have I done?" I then decided that the best years of my life were still ahead of me. Since then I moved to the other side of the world, wrote my first (and several other) novels, among other things. OK, I am not in the best of health, but the important thing is to keep reaching for life and live it to the fullest in whatever ways you can.
Warm wishes,
Jefa

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#5 kelowna52

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Posted 23 January 2008 - 05:25 AM

Hi Karen, I am 53 and still can't believe it. I to feel and think like a 40 year old, I don't feel that great at times, actually most of the time, but my mind is still thinking great clothes, shoes, purses, parties, etc. My daughter is 29 and graduating from university this year, she will be a Mechanical Engineer, I still can't believe it, I am so proud of her, she's just incredible. She keeps telling me you don't look your age, maybe she's just trying to be nice, but it sure feels good. Well, take care, I think if you feel young you will portray young, have a great day.

Jackie S.

#6 janey

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Posted 23 January 2008 - 05:40 AM

Karen,
Haven't you heard? 50 is the new 40. 60 is the new 50. So you still have 10 years to go! :D

Big Hugs.
Janey Willis
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#7 KarenL

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Posted 23 January 2008 - 02:22 PM

Thanks everyone, you cheered me somewhat. I'm reading an awesome book and it's helping a lot. I think the baby boomer generation never really believed we'd age! Remember all that don't trust anyone over 30 stuff! I have a step-son older than that!
Karen

#8 barefut

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Posted 24 January 2008 - 05:11 PM

Hi Karen,

For what it's worth, your photo looks nothing like 50. Maybe 30 something.

You're as young as you feel.

I'm still 16 in my mind.

#9 emmie

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Posted 24 January 2008 - 05:27 PM

Hi Karen,

I'm 53. Looking back, I think the anticipation of turning 50 is worse than the actual day you turn 50. You find it's just another day, and you wake up the next day as the very same person you were the last day you were 49.

Now that I've spent 3 years in my "fifties" I have found it to be very liberating. I do what I like/want to do without worrying if others will like it or if it is the "in" thing to do. I buy what I like to wear and if others don't like it, oh well, I do. In other words, I feel totally free to be me and not be restrained. I do still mind my manners, however :-) I hope I have given you a fairly good idea of what I find good about hitting this stage of living.

You'll deal, don't worry,

emmie

#10 truman

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Posted 24 January 2008 - 10:18 PM

Emmie:

That's what I felt like at reaching 40. I just didn't care anymore. Didn't worry if my outfit was "right", didn't worry if dinner was "perfect", didn't worry if the bills were a "tad" late.

I just felt after raising the two boys alone all these years, my life would no longer be dictated to me by anyone.

Just last year, my then boss told me I had to work at a sight far from my home, traveling everyday, using, my vehicle, a 50 year old woman alone on the road when it's dark going in and dark coming home. He said that would prevent being "laid off". I laughed and told him 20 years ago he may have scared me when I needed the money and job, but now it only insulted me. I told him to do what was necessary and that the payment of unemployment these days was well enough to keep me satisfied. He quickly recoiled and the subject was never brought up again.

Granted, shortly afterward I went out on disability, but shortly after my leave, he was let go.
Tru

It is what it is...........

#11 emmie

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Posted 27 January 2008 - 04:58 PM

Good for you, Tru!

emmie

#12 Sweet

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Posted 28 January 2008 - 06:49 AM

OK now this will make you laugh. Turning 23 about killed me. LOL I'm 48 now, and have never had an issues with any other age than 23. Go figure. Although I have to say when I turn 50, that may be a mile stone of some sort. Hmmmm I'll let you know. :)
Warm and gentle hugs,

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#13 lizzie

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Posted 28 January 2008 - 11:14 AM

Hi karen, I've turned 50 and it really feels no different to being in my 40's. My worst moment was turning 30 its seems so young now! I really do think that becoming or not becoming old' is more a matter of attitude than of actual age. In the course of my work I have met plenty of people who are chronologically old (over 80) but who are young in attitude and had a vibrancy about them. One of the most charismatic people I have met was a lady in her 80's. so severely disabled by a stroke that she could not walk ot care for herself but who was so full of life - she was someone you really enjoyed spending time with. My mother- in - law was another 'young' person - in her 70's she started piano lessons and took up yoga and in her 80's used to pick up drive "the old ladies" to church - many of them were younger than her. My motto is think young -stay young ( in spirit if not in body!)
Lizzie

#14 debonair susie

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Posted 28 January 2008 - 12:11 PM

tru,
You exceeded me... in attitude... by 10 years :P I'm with emmie.... Good for YOU! I am in awe of you, the self-confidence you demonstrate is so totally Awesome! (I wish I had been a mouse in the corner after you said what you did... to the boss you had)! How freeing that must have felt! It's good that his "threat" didn't intimidate you... Sometimes, a "guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do!
At any rate, folks like that end up awfully lonely too.

Janey, I LOVED what you said! :lol:

emmie, I agree with you 100%... I too felt liberated, once I hit 50... It's as though we've "earned" our stripes! :lol:
Isn't it amazing... the older we get the "younger" the years ahead of us "become"?!

I celebrated... turning 30... for 2 weeks; I was VERY depressed... for 2 weeks, as I turned 40; I was really tickled to be turning 50, but I'm not at all "tickled"... at the age of 55... This too, shall pass...Maybe I'll "outgrow" this soon!

Hugs Around!!!
Susie
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#15 KarenL

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Posted 01 February 2008 - 09:51 AM

Thanks so much ladies!! The day came and went with no ill efects, I still feel the same as I did at age 35. Ya know, I had my first heart attack at age 47. As I lay there in the ER, looking at my dear husband with tears in both our eyes, I thought, "I cannot believe I'm not even going to hit 50! I can't believe I'm gonna die so young!" Since then I've had two more heart attacks and may have more. The doctors think it's sclero related, but the point is, I got to be 50 and it feels good. Thanks so much for your replies and compliments.
Karen