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My sister in Law is Pregnant


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#1 rlbrussell

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Posted 09 February 2008 - 09:05 AM

My sister in law just found out that her and her husband are going to be having a baby! It is wonderful news but since she told me I have been struggling with an overwhelming feeling of grief. Diffuse Sclero hit me before I had an opportunity to have children. It seems inappropriate for me to be feeling this way but I just cannot seem to stop crying today.
Rosa
Diffuse Sclero
dx Jan 2006

#2 truman

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Posted 09 February 2008 - 11:32 AM

Rosa:

I was having my second child when I noticed my sister-in-law acting ill at ease around me and avoiding me. She had had several miscarriages and finally was told there would be no babies. When she avoided me altogether and didn't attend functions I was at or any functions to do with the baby, I understood. It was a terrible time for her.

You feelings are not unusual and to pretend they don't exist would be a lie to yourself. It's a grieving period you need to go through. I don't know the seriousness of your condition, but many of us have children. Have you been told there will never be the hope, or is it just your thoughts.

In the end, quite later in life, my sister-in-law and bro wound up having two boys of their own. Everything is in due time.

There is a rhyme and reason for everything in life. Do you think I wanted this? I still cry at moments, but its here, its me and I will live my life to the best with this. There are reasons for everything.

The best is finding this site. The friends, information and caring given here can't be compared.

I hope I've helped a little, and if you need to yell, than yell......we're here........we'll listen.
Tru

It is what it is...........

#3 epasen

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Posted 09 February 2008 - 12:21 PM

Rosa,

it is perfectly normal that you're feeling sad because of this, cause it brings things you've lost to your mind. Maybe after a while, after going trough all this, you can joy with them. Don't put your feelings away. It's important to grieve.

Emmi

#4 Snowbird

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Posted 09 February 2008 - 01:41 PM

Yes, Rosa, I also think it is perfectly normal for you to feel that way because you are in a place of uncertainty in your own life right now...but as Truman said, there are reasons for everything. Give yourself time, things will work out.
Sending good wishes your way!

#5 Stacey

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Posted 11 February 2008 - 04:10 AM

Rosa,

I know exactly how you feel. I too haven't been able to have kids and 6 of my very close friends and relatives have told me that they are expecting. It's hard I know but just remember that all things happen for a reason!

Stacey

#6 rlbrussell

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Posted 11 February 2008 - 04:56 AM

Thanks so much for the encouragement. I am feeling a lot better about the situation. I just needed to take a moment to feel what I was feeling. The opportunity to have children is not completely closed for me. If I can get off my medications and remain stable than it might work, but I do worry about having a preterm infant and longterm complications that can come with that. But we are just taking it a day at a time and enjoying all the wonderful things about the flexibility we have without children.

Rosa
Rosa
Diffuse Sclero
dx Jan 2006

#7 Michelle2

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Posted 11 February 2008 - 05:17 AM

Hi Rosa~

What your feeling is perfectly normal and it's OK for you to be feeling this way. Take this time for yourself your not being selfish. Talk with your dr's. They may still be hope. Also, there is always the option of adoption. Keep you faith!
Take care and stay warm,

Michelle