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#1 barefut

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Posted 07 March 2008 - 12:55 AM

Anybody have any ideas on how to get your kids to clean their rooms?

Should I even care? I can't help it. I DO CARE! It bugs me to death when I can't walk in there. It really is a danger zone, a safety hazard. My 5 year old leaves his drawers open that are under his bed and he has scraped himself pretty good on their sharp corners getting off the bed.

Not sclero related I know, but I feel like in the Den I can talk about anything. If you think about it though you can probably make almost anything sclero related just on the fatigue factor alone.

If my kids picked up after themselves it would sure save me some spoons!

There. Sclero-related. :rolleyes:

Anyway, I want them to care about their things and take good care of them. I want them to know the advantages of being organized - knowing where their things are and even what they have!

We don't tend to accumulate a lot of "stuff" because I am always weeding through it and giving to charity but what they do have is always strewn. Even garbage is on the floor 2 feet from their trash cans! AGH!

Tell me they will grow out of this or please give me some ideas to help make them want to be neat.

Thanks!

Barefut

#2 relicmom1

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Posted 07 March 2008 - 04:40 AM

Ohhhh, Barefut I feel your pain!! :( My kids are now 18(daughter) and 23(son) and both still at home.The 18 year old is a senior in high school and the 23 year old works nights for a trucking company, but he still is at home. Neither of them have ever kept their room clean and it used to drive me absolutely crazy. Before I became sick and still worked, I had off every Wednesday, that meant I was here alone while they were in school and I would clean their room to my satisfaction. If I tried to do it when they were home, everything I deemed "trash" was something they couldn't live without and they would get it out of the trash. I know I shouldn't have been cleaning their room, but I just couldn't stand it. I live in an average size tri level home and I used to clean this place top to bottom in one day, and I did it every week. Now, I do good to put the dishes in the dishwasher :lol: . When I began getting sick and I could no longer do things the way I used to, it was a very hard thing for me to accept. I no longer clean the house like I should, much less their rooms. I make them keep their bedroom door closed so I don't have to see it. It's ironic around here, everybody is always "fussing" at me for trying to do too much, yet NO ONE (including hubby) will lift a finger to help. I do the best I can and I finally stopped obsessing over what I couldn't get done. :blink: Being that I consider myself a type A personality ( and I think most of us with sclero are ,for some reason) accepting my limitations was one of the most difficult things I've had to do. I'm sorry I don't have any better suggstions for you, but I thought you'd like to know you're not in this boat alone :P
Peace :)
Barbara aka relicmom1

#3 debonair susie

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Posted 07 March 2008 - 08:09 AM

barefut, I've got to stand with Barbara on this, I'm afraid :(
When I married my hubby, we blended our families. he had 3 out on their own and a 17 y-o who lived with us. At the time, I had a 15 y-o daughter and 13 y-o son. I worked fulltime, and my hubby had 2 businesses, so our time was filled. Our children "never" had clean clothes... Dirty or clean, they were on the floor. I had always felt it was MY job to do everything... until my hubby made me realize it wasn't my job to go nuts ...before my time :P
He told the kids to keep their bedroom doors closed because we didn't need to see their messy rooms... He is not unlike me, when it comes to clean ;) I also told them to do their own laundry, which lightened my load. They all were given tasks, but my daughter was the LEAST cooperative.
Today, hubby's son is VERY tidy, my daughter does well, but my son.... Well, suffice it to say... he's so busy raising his own son by himself and working, that a clean house just isn't a top priority, right now! He's great with my grandson and they are neat about their person.

Anyway, I totally understand how you feel, barefut... but save the spoons for things that make you feel good!
In the meantime... if you should happen to find the "magic bullet", please let me know, because I have grandchildren who could do much better in this department, too!

Hugs, Susie
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#4 omaeva

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Posted 07 March 2008 - 09:55 AM

My mom used to threaten me with the 'belt' lol! :lol:

#5 Patty1

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Posted 07 March 2008 - 10:36 AM

Barefut I feel your pain too! Mine are about the same age as yours, relicmom, 24 and 17, and both still at home.It is pretty much the same deal. I gave up trying to clean their rooms even before I got sick. I used to take a trash bag or bags up to my son's room and bag everything that was on the floor. It didn't bother him a bit! I have tried every threat and punishment allowable by law ;) The only thing that worked was revoking privileges. If they wanted to go to a friends house for a sleep over, or a special trip, the deal was they didn't go anywhere until the room was clean. That only works on my 17 year old daughter now! :lol: My 24 year old will soon be the headache of my soon to be daughter-in-law!! I really don't have the energy to stress over their rooms anymore, it's all I can do too to keep the house acceptably clean. I think you are right about us being type A personalities, cause I used to have a black belt in cleaning, (all in one weekend!) now I am satisfied if the windows get washed once a year. I PAY my kids to do it, with 28 windows, sliders and doors to wash, it is worth every penny I pay them.
Allowances and chores were part of their growing up. I remember when they were little though, the rooms were sometimes a battle. At times, instead of fighting with them, I would "help" them with the cleaning, alot of it was just pointing out what needed to be put in the toy box, dresser draws that needed to be closed. clothes that needed to go in the hamper, etc....
There is nothing wrong in wanting them to learn the advantages of being organized, its never too soon to start teaching, and believe it or not, it does sink in after a while! I believe my two "kids" are starting to see the light! Hang in there Barefut...
Warm wishes
Patty

#6 Sherion

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Posted 07 March 2008 - 03:19 PM

Barefut,
I sure wish I could help but I've been there/done that! I had three daughters that were all totally different. The oldest couldn't care less one way ore the other. Number two has always been a clean freak. Number three is, or was, the biggest slob this side of the moon. She is 33 now and the only thing that changed her was moving in with her boyfriend. He's a neat freak, now so is she!!!! Too bad he wasn't around when she was younger!!!! I also would just close their door and hope no one opened it by "mistake". Take a deep breath and think that this to will pass.

Sherion

#7 Shelley Ensz

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Posted 08 March 2008 - 05:13 AM

Hi Barefut,

Here are some creative ideas you may want to consider.

How about making mini-clean-ups a standard fun part of every day? For example, just before bath time every evening, have a five minute Happy Room Party.

Put on some of their favorite lively music. Change themes around to keep it fun; like Mexican music with a little hat dance to polish it off; dragon hats for fire-breathing dusters. Don everyone with Crazy Cleaners hats (make them out of newspaper if you are short on costumes). Make it into a game. How much can get done in five minutes? Give points for a basket -- clothes landing in the laundry basket! This is not the time to be fussy-clean but focus on the majors, like having a main pathway through the room, or the majority of clothes into the laundry hamper.

On Saturdays, it can be a 10-minute party where the vacuum cleaner also gets invited and then whoever does the most vacuuming within that 10 minutes (don't worry, this adds up by happening every week) -- sometimes mom might need to help a tad, you know -- also gets the special Secret Cleaning Prize of the Week. (Buy or make a selection of mini prizes and wrap them up.)

Dance and hug and clap and high five your way through it. Totally ignore whatever isn't accomplished in any one clean up session. No criticism -- of any sort! -- allowed. Think of this as being a Stress Free Zone. The daily practice alone, combined with the enormous fun factor of mommy wearing a silly hat and making clown faces everytime the clothes are all put away will make it a Favorite Happy Event rather than a Dull Boring Horrid Event.

I save a special talk radio station that I like, which I play only when I am doing a 20-minute mild exercise session and combined pick up and clean up around the house each morning. If I miss a morning, then no radio, simple as that. So it always gives me incentive to get back on track, as soon as I am able.

When our granddaughter is here, we make up names for each other, like Dust Bunny or Cleanerator, and we all do our daily quick pick-ups together, always starting in the right hand side of each room and working our way quickly around. As soon as we're done (and this doesn't take long at all, as we do it often) we celebrate with some lively music while she does the Dust Bunny dance, often with some lip-syncing to her favorite song.
Warm Hugs,

Shelley Ensz
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#8 jefa

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Posted 08 March 2008 - 05:54 AM

My kids are now struggling with these same issues with varying levels of success with my grandchildren. My daughter-in-law seems to have zones where certain clutter is allowed but it is easy to pick up quickly in the case of company. The kids rooms have been ordered by type of toy. My grandson, for example, has a shelf with a series of baskets and one of them is full of cars, another action figures, etc. Beds are simpler to make these days with colorful duvets over a single sheet than they were when mine were young with blankets and topsheets. When my kids were little, I used to have to get them dressed and ready to go for a ride which dropped them off at a babysitter before school and me to work. We used to play what they called the 'doodly-doo' game when time was getting tight. In that we would all pretend we were in a silent movie like the keystone cops where the action was exaggeratedly fast. We would run around making beds, putting clothes in the hamper, etc. while singing "Doodly-doo, doodly-doo, doodly-doodly-doodly-doo" like the piano accompaniment to the silent movie. I am smiling now thinking about that. :D

As they got older, I insisted that all jackets, books, etc. were put by the door before bedtime. Lunchboxes (until they were 'too cool' to carry them) were staged the night before to be assembled by me while they ate breakfast. I kept color coded laundry baskets near the washer (it didn't seem to work having the clothes in their rooms. By the time they were in their teens, each person had their own laundry day. They were responsible for doing their own wash, sorting it as necessary, drying, folding and putting away. I did not do anybody's laundry or ironing by then, including my husband's. The only concession I made for him was switching to color underwear and socks so he didn't have to sort. My husband and I took turns cooking, the kids took turns washing the dishes. Both of the kids had their own jobs (paper routes) so they had to stay on top of their chores if they wanted to stay on schedule. There simply were no TV or phone privileges if things weren't kept up and homework wasn't finished.
Warm wishes,
Jefa

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#9 barefut

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Posted 12 March 2008 - 12:29 AM

Thanks everyone!

So many good ideas.....

When the boys were younger we used to have the "10 second tidy" which we borrowed from a favorite tv show. It went to a little ditty too. It allowed us to at least get the toys picked up in the living room.

Now I need to work on my stamina and follow through in implementing some of your ideas.

Wish me luck!