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Taking care of sick kids (or spouses) when you are sick yourself

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7 replies to this topic

#1 Bunky


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Posted 16 April 2008 - 05:48 PM

Hey everyone,

My kids have stomach flu :( :P Yuck! They are so frustrated with me, and I'm frustrated myself, because they want me to be mommy, and I'm trying, but I rub their backs for a moment, and it causes my hands to go numb or severe shooting pain, and I have to stop. Or they want me to snuggle, but it hurts to have them lay on me. (I have grown teenage kids.) I don't have the energy to do all the stuff they need me to do for them. I feel like such a bad mom.
I remember my mom sitting and rubbing my face for hours when I had migraines as a kid, or making me my favorite foods when I was sick. What are my kids going to remember? When I was at work today, my daughter started asking for my mother, not me, because grandma is more nurturing in that way. Any ideas out there of how to be a better caregiver, when you sort of need one yourself?


#2 barefut


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Posted 16 April 2008 - 06:00 PM

Awww Bunky,

I think all us moms have been there at one point or another. I don't think there is anything you can do for the guilt - it's just a mother's bane.

BUT you are NOT a bad mom! You silly girl. The fact that you are posting for ideas to help you comfort your (nearly grown) children says it all.

Maybe you could just curl up on the couch with them and share a blankie and a cocoa and watch a movie. Ask them what movies they'd like you to rent for them. Make popcorn and make it like a slumber party. They probably just want you close to make them feel better anyway.

#3 Bunky


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Posted 16 April 2008 - 06:14 PM

Wow, Barefut,
I'ts so helpful to have an objective opinion when you're feeling subjective! You are so right! They really do just want me around. And I did leave work early, came home and watched a movie with them. Maybe I'm not such a bad mom after all. (Well my kids say the jury's still out on that one... <_< )
But seriously, I am so thankful for this forum. I suddenly feel energized to go do some "Mom" stuff.
Thank you!


#4 truman


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Posted 16 April 2008 - 09:23 PM


Wow, bad Mom? Are you kidding? All they want to know is that you're there! They're teens, they understand. When they're not feeling well, just a "boo-boo belly" dinner of grilled cheese sandwiches and chicken soup. Honey, you're sick too, and they know that; just the fact that as teens, they still want the hugs and rubs....terrific! :)

It is what it is...........

#5 Karenlee


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Posted 17 April 2008 - 01:36 AM


You are not a bad mom. You are doing all you can given your circumstances. I'm sure your kids understand that and love you for trying your best to care for them.


#6 debonair susie

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Posted 17 April 2008 - 07:43 AM

Wow, Bunky tru and barefut... may I snuggle with you too :D ?!

You are so very right on about this... When dealing withour stuff and not feeling well at times, I would think it great to do what you're doing!

Nothing feels better than for someone to rub back, arms legs (provided one isn't dealing with sensitive skin, at the time), whether feeling under the weather or just to relax.
Bunky, I know what you mean... about trying to rub someone's back and after a short time, have hands/fingers lock up or have other problems... very frustrating for sure! I've even run my forearm on my hubby's back and it seeems soothing to him... we can only do what we can do, right? ;)

tru, I STILL love your boo-boo meal... there's just nothing better... in my book... as a matter of fact, that sounds good for lunch today! :P

Big Hugs to you, Ladies!
Special Hugs,

Susie Kraft
ISN Support Specialist
ISN Chat Host
International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

#7 Snowbird


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Posted 17 April 2008 - 10:13 AM

Hey Bunky

Sounds to me like you're great too! I agree with the others, grab a movie, etc, and have a nice time with them, I'm also sure they'll love that, no matter what age!
Sending good wishes your way!

#8 Guest_Sadie_*

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Posted 17 April 2008 - 10:50 AM

Bunky, You sound like a great Mom! Like Snowbird said, grab a movie that You guys can watch with each other. I'm not a Mom but I have 2 nephews. When they come over, sometimes we'll watch a movie together.