Sadie's inspiration and my mother's condition update
Posted 07 July 2008 - 04:42 PM
It's been awhile since I've had or taken the time to check in and when I did today I found the postings from Sadie. I am so sorry Sadie that you are going through this, but so glad that even through your struggles you are so upbeat. I'm glad too that you have found hospice such a welcome relief.
I had posted a few months ago that my mother was in the hospital with accute kidney failure and I was looking for support on what to expect. Since that time she has progressively gotten worse, hidden a lot of the "real" issues from my brother and me and a week before a planned trip to Hawaii on June 23rd went into the hospital again while they were trying to do a calcium injection. This time, her doctors finally told her they couldn't do anything more for her and suggested hospice. What a shock this was to me that she was suddenly in such a situation. I think her and my dad made a pact to keep things sounding more positive to my brother and his family, and me so we wouldn't worry.
Against our better judgment she got on the plane. 3 days into the trip the vomiting and diarreah started again and 3 days later dad took her to the emergency room in Kona to have a saline solution so she could rehaydrate and get on the plane to come home. On the way to the airport she had a panic attack-I thought she was having a seizure. She barely made it on the plane and dad said she was aggitated and crying the whole way home. Since then, June 29th she has been home bound and pretty much to a wheelchair and basically hasn't had anything to eat for 2 weeks.
Unlike so many of you I found in this forum, my mother has decided to no extraordinary measures to sustain her life. And she never quit smoking or having her daily margarita. This fact has frustrated me to no end. My dad has been trying to care for her this past week at home but today the aggitation began to worsen and she is fighting him on everything including taking her zanex so he is now considering admitting her to full time hospice tomorrow.
So again I came here searching for information to help me figure out how far along she is and how much time we might have with her.
I am truly inspired by everyone's thoughts and sharing of information and willingness to share your stories. If anyone has any information to help me understand where we are right now I would greatly appreciate it.
Posted 07 July 2008 - 08:02 PM
I don't know how much I can contribute other then to sense your mother is fiercely fighting for her independence; something I can understand. If the situation is at the state to which Hospice is involved, I hope you can allow your mother the room and grace to maintain her wishes. My thoughts are with you and your family.
It is what it is...........
Posted 07 July 2008 - 09:56 PM
When and How To Say "No" to Caregiving
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Posted 07 July 2008 - 10:23 PM
What a tough situation for your mom and family. I agree with Tru and jefa regarding your mom's feelings of independence and her need to make her own decisions. Home hospice is a great idea. Can it be presented to her as one of a few choices she can make for herself?
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Posted 08 July 2008 - 04:27 AM
Posted 08 July 2008 - 04:39 AM
I'll know more by later today what is happening.
Thank you again.
Posted 08 July 2008 - 07:11 AM
Posted 08 July 2008 - 07:48 AM
Posted 08 July 2008 - 08:21 AM
I can't offer any better advice than the others have given you. I hope as a family you can find a solution to make things better for all of you. My thoughts are with you and your family as well.
Posted 08 July 2008 - 11:41 AM
I just wanted to express to you that I am so sorry to hear what your Mom, you and your family are going thru. You are in my thoughts.
Please take care and stay strong!
Posted 08 July 2008 - 12:50 PM
The name of mine is Trinity Hospice. I do have Sugar water that goes through my picc line since my body doesn't hardly absorb it. It is to keep me comfortable but it isn't a cure or anything. You may want to check to see if there are any other Hospise in the area because they may have diffrent rules.
Posted 09 July 2008 - 02:31 PM
I am so sorry...to read your frustrations is so hard. I really agree with tru on this.
However, if she will take fluids, without forcing her...that would be a good thing. Have that be your marker and let her lead the way.
I hope she takes the fluids, because then, it will help you discern, whether or not she's lucid. Otherwise, I still need to go back to what tru said.
This has to be so hard for you, but please...keep us posted, if you are able.
Soft Hugs to you and your mom.
Posted 10 July 2008 - 04:20 PM
It's hard to "hear" your current ordeal, but I hope that things improve when your mom moves to the facility. We used hospice with my dad when his lymphoma started to get the better of him. He was such a strong willed person; wouldn't take the pain meds (we think because he didn't like the way it made him feel) wouldn't eat because of the lack of appetite and so forth. We found Hospice to be a great source of help and support until he had to be moved to the VA hospital. In the hospital they were able to give him IV meds to keep him "comfortable". You will be in my thoughts.
Posted 11 July 2008 - 08:35 AM
In the past year, I have lost my brother (62 years.), my niece (46 years.), my sister (69 years.) a very closer brother-in-law (62 years.), my elderly aunt, and my dear next door neighbor. Loss is never ~ ever easy. I feel numb at times when I think of this past year.
Then I come here and read of someone like Sadie and you ~~ I snap back and realize that we all have been given our crosses to bear.
I'm so glad that you have this place to come to, and I'm glad you feel safe here.
Please know that many, many are keeping you close during this difficult time.
Nina ~ DE