Jump to content

Hang onto your hat: Sclero Forums Upgrade May 14-21, 2017!! The Forums will be offline for up to 4 days, and then will return with an entirely new look and feel.


Vet visit

  • Please log in to reply
7 replies to this topic

#1 ShawMJ


    Senior Bronze Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 70 posts

Posted 21 July 2008 - 06:36 PM

Friday we had to bring our little dog to get her allergy shot.When we drove up someone we knew was taking one of his hunting dogs out of his truck and had a leash on her.I asked him"Problems"? and he said "Yes,putting her down.I said how sorry I was and that I'd had to do it before and knew how hard it was.I also patted the dog on her little head and the friend said "oh she's very friendly and loves people.He then went inside as they called him in right away.I told my husband why he was there as he hadn't heard why he was there with his dog.We sat and waited our turn and when he came out,I noticed right away that he had tears in his eyes and my heart really went out to him as I know how hard that must have been.When he got to the door I said "It was good to see you and have a nice day.He thanked me and left and then I realized what I'd just said and felt just utterly stupid.'Have a nice day"when he had just had to put his little dog to sleep.My husband said I was being too hard on myself as I had good intentions when I said that and he probably appreciated me saying something period.I still felt stupid though and can't get it out of my mind.I wish now that I would have just gone outside and talked to him but I was afraid that they might call us in.My husband with his memory problems might not have remembered anything the vet would tell him so I had to be there.Anyway just wanted to get it off of my chest,I always hate to see things like that but its a fact of life that wecan't always keepur precious pets with us and that sometimes putting them down is the best thing to do to keep them from suffering.I hope all are okay and hanging on daily.Mary

#2 truman


    Gold Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 624 posts
  • Location:NJ

Posted 22 July 2008 - 01:18 AM

If you know his address, you may want to send a pet sympathy card. They have some lovely ones with such caring sentiments.

It is what it is...........

#3 Clementine


    Gold Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 684 posts

Posted 22 July 2008 - 01:20 AM

Oh Mary, I'm sorry, and you did mean well, so keep that in mind. Why don't you do something kind for the gentleman, perhaps send him a sympathy card or an I'm thinking of you card? He was probably so far removed from anything people were saying and focusing on his loss, so be gentle on yourself. I am pretty sure that the average person would not take your words in a negative way. Especially not when they come from a nice person...like you.

Poor everyone. That is something I think about sometimes, because I love my animals so much. I'll have to open up my own pet grievance group.

Take it easy,

#4 MicheleM


    Silver Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 119 posts
  • Location:Atlanta, GA

Posted 22 July 2008 - 06:08 AM

Hey Mary. I think you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. We all have things come up out of the blue & we do the best we can at the time & that's all we can ask of ourselves. I don't think your friend even thought about it after he was past as he was more likely in his own world by then. Maybe just saying "something" made a positive note in his mind. Certainly a rough day for him though. I think Truman had a good idea with the card. Hope by now you're feeling better :rolleyes:
Soft hugs your way,


#5 smurfette


    Silver Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 148 posts
  • Location:PA, USA

Posted 23 July 2008 - 04:13 PM

I think your intention to give words of comfort meant more than the actual words did. We all are at a loss for the right words sometimes and kick ourselves afterwards because of what actually came out of our mouths. The man was probably barely functioning and he saw that you were there and offering support, he did not even really hear you. He was trying to process his grief. Sometimes we are so aware of our social indiscretion that we forget that the person who is grieving really was way too involved with his pain to even really pay any attention to what we did. He sensed that your heart was in the right place. You can call the vet, as Tru suggested, and send a card, or make a donation to an animal rescue shelter in memory of his pet and that will be something very meaningful to him.

Chocolate, It isn't just for breakfast anymore!

#6 razz


    Senior Silver Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 344 posts

Posted 23 July 2008 - 04:19 PM

Don't feel bad Mary! We've all said something that didn't come out right and we wished we could take it back.

At my last doctor's visit, one nurse was taking my blood pressure and I was talking about how I hoped I gained some weight. Another nurse was walking by and said to me "You could take some of mine." I said "Okay, I'll take 30 pounds." Later I thought Oh my goodness, did I just say she needed to lose 30 pounds. She smiled when I said it but sometimes we're harder on ourselves than need be.

Still blushing!

Live well, Laugh often, Love much

#7 barefut


    Platinum Member

  • Bloggers
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,158 posts
  • Location:NW Washington

Posted 24 July 2008 - 11:36 PM


As I read your story, I put myself in your friend's shoes and I am sure he knew you said it as a sympathetic gesture, as in, "I am sorry to see you hurting, please feel better soon." but to have said something like that, might have only embarrassed him as he was feeling sad and near tears and surely didn't want to lose it in front of you and everyone else there.

I agree with your hubby, I'm sure he appreciated you saying anything period and I'm sure what you said had no ill effect on him at all.

Now, you feel better okay?

#8 debonair susie

debonair susie

    Platinum Member

  • ISN Support Specialists
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,624 posts
  • Location:(United States)

Posted 27 July 2008 - 12:21 PM

Hi Mary,

I can tell that you have a very special, kind and loving heart and your husband...who also sounds like not only a wise man, but a man who knows his wife by expressing that in what he said to you.

Barefut...I feel...is right on, with what she said.

I love dogs and I've also had to have four of my loyal/loving dogs "put to sleep". If anyone had said what you said to that man, I would have thought that it was very special of that person to care enough and say something.

It was sweet of you to acknowledge this man and I'm sure he appreciated your words.

Soft Hugs,
Special Hugs,

Susie Kraft
ISN Support Specialist
ISN Chat Host
International Scleroderma Network (ISN)