Need some support and answers
Posted 27 October 2009 - 04:16 AM
Well, the school year has been off to a difficult start for me. I have had fatigue so bad at times I feel like I'm hardly able to make it through the day. Luckily that is improving. Last night I went to the gym after a long absence. I felt better after getting in a brisk walk for 45 minutes. I am going to try to get there more often. I'm terribly out of shape which is probably contributing to my fatigue.
I'm still feeling pretty blue lately. No, it isn't all Raynaud's! but I did go and purchase lots of hand warmers, toe warmers, and body warmers in the outdoor sports area this morning.
I've been down for a few weeks. I made an appointment with my general practitioner and talked it over with her a little. She offered an antidepressant starts with W, can I say bupropion? I'm very leary of starting it since it has side effects of drying the eyes and other problems. I already have such dry eyes that I don't want to make that worse. I was recently singing a song in choir that had me so choked up I had to leave, rather than cry through the whole song.
Has anyone else taken bupropion? I read that the generic bupropion doesn't perform as well as the brand "W". I've made an appointment to talk to the employee assistance counseling center, but I don't see someone until next Tuesday morning.
I feel so tired of all my symptoms that I can't do anything about. My burning mouth, ringing in left ear, trouble swallowing, dry eyes, and fatigue. Having something like these chronic conditions can wear a person down after a while. I can often block these out of my mind, but if I'm feeling down, it seems to magnify these problems.
I think I'm still dwelling on the comments from a person recently that told me I was such a negative person and that they couldn't figure out how to "help" me. That person has never really tried to offer supportive help. I know I shouldn't take one person's opinion so seriously, but I've been unable to find someone to talk to here. It is probably partly the depression talking here, but I feel so alone.
I haven't really told anyone at work what is actually going on. I'm a little afraid to let anyone know what I'm dealing with because I'm afraid they will think I can't handle my job.
Thanks for being here. Sorry I'm mostly venting. Any comments about bupropion would be helpful.
Posted 27 October 2009 - 06:54 AM
I am sorry you are having such a difficult time at the moment and that you are feeling so down. You are absolutely right that chronic illness and its symptoms can wear you down and I don't think you should have to apologise for this or for how low you feel. It seems that you have enough to worry about without taking on the comments of someone who I guess does not live with a chronic illness and it's symptoms and therefore has no real idea how difficult this is for you.
Be assured that here we do know how difficult it can be and we want to support you as best we can. My opinion (that of a non medical layperson) is that we should give ourselves permission to feel low and to accept that we have reasons to, having then done this we can start to move forward. Pretending everything is okay and putting on a brave face may make others feel better but it does not help us.
I only found 3 links on this site relating to Bupropion/Wellburtin (the W you were referring to?)and they were links to personal stories, the references to the drug itself were brief, so I am afraid I can't help much with this specific drug. However we do have information about the use ofanti depressant use in rheumatic disorders:
Certain anti-depressant drugs have analgesic effects in chronic rheumatic painful states in which analgesics and NSAIDs are not very efficient. In inflammatory rheumatic diseases, anti-depressants may be useful for managing fatigue and sleep disorders.
My opinion (that of a non medical layperson) is that anti depressants can help people, sometimes for a short term and sometimes for the longer term. That they can also have a pain relieving effect may be an added bonus for you. I take them for nerve pain but would be just as happy to take them for their original purpose if I needed to. Obviously ony you can decide if taking them is going to be right for you. I think talking to the counsellor is a really good idea and will be confidential.
I hope this helps and please continue to post, we are interested in how you really feel!
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Posted 27 October 2009 - 09:43 AM
Hi Mando...sorry to hear about the fatigue. Are you a teacher? That has got to be hard trying to keep up with the kids/lesson plans, etc. I just had Gareth in today for blood work because that is all I have been hearing lately...."I so tired." I don't know if it is because he's had those 3 vaccines over the past 6 weeks or what. I wish there was a pill that you guys could take for 'tiredness'.
Take care, Everyone.
Posted 27 October 2009 - 10:12 AM
Is the person who made the remark about you being a negative person by any chance the type who always asks how you are and how things are going and never wants to hear the answer? They are, in my experience, often intolerably superficial and usually dealing quite unsuccessfully with their own issues. Their opinions are not to be valued!
You don't ever need to feel alone. You've made lots of friends here and I always look forward to seeing your posts. There have been many a time when I've wished we could meet at a coffee shop and talk Celtic music, recipes, and make up some "I was so fatigued. . ." jokes. You know, ones like "I was so tired I drove off and left my husband at the grocery store" and you'd say "that's nothing, I was so tired I drove home and left my husband AND my kids at the grocery!"
Think about risk/benefit in taking an antidepressant. On one hand, not everybody gets every side effect and on the other, even if your eyes do get dryer, what's worse? Being exhausted so much of the time and having the blues? And maybe there is an alternative medication that doesn't have that particular side effect.
Cariad, I'm sending you lots of virtual hugs and my very warmest wishes.
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Posted 27 October 2009 - 11:11 AM
I am so sorry you are suffering. Depression is one tough cookie that can have serious consequences, I am so proud that you are addressing it, as many times one cannot fight depression by themselves.
I have been on antidepressants on and off for years. I have successfully taken prozac and paxil and they worked wonders for me. I did have a bad reaction to bupropion though. Lost my mind and turned into a monster for a few weeks til my husband and I figured it out. I am back on paxil, its a miracle for me. I would go ahead and try it, as my reaction is rare (and I have not had that with the other two brands), and I heard bupropion can have less side effects and less intense side effects than others.
Good luck and let us know what you decide,
Posted 27 October 2009 - 11:31 AM
I think if you want to have a complete hissy , then you should go ahead and do it...it's deserved and well placed. Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time lately...I sure hope things get better for you soon. I agree with the others, sometimes people just need that little bit of extra help to get them through rough times....you may only need them for a short while or you may need them for a long while...but either way....I also have to agree with Jeannie....and think you should carefully weigh your options...mental health counts tons too ok! Take care!
Posted 27 October 2009 - 01:57 PM
As I read what you had written I thought I was reading something that I had written. I've been feeling the same way and my mom just said to me tonight that she felt I needed something for depression. I don't feel like I'm depressed but now I'm beginning to wonder if that isn't what it is. I go to my rheumatologist on Nov. 6th and I'm going to make sure that she knows how I'm feeling. I am just so tired, don't feel like doing anything, and want to sleep more then what I used to. I think that's why I enjoy going to my camper because there I don't have to work and I really do enjoy it. That is ending next weekend. I do push myself and when I'm camping I do get to walk, but at home, I'm busier and then I don't feel like exercising. Thanks for sharing. Not that I like seeing you feel this way but it did make me feel a little better to know that I'm not the only one.
Posted 27 October 2009 - 03:48 PM
I am currently feeling the same as you as well, I have tried 2 anti depressants so far, and due to strange headaches on them I had to stop taking them, I hate side effects, but my Doctor has assured me that with time we will find the right one. Keep that in mind, if one doesn't work, don't give up, keep working with your doctor until you are satisfied that you have the right one. I really feel for you and hope you are feeling better sooner than later.
Posted 28 October 2009 - 01:18 AM
I was told years ago, by a psychiatrist, that each antidepressant only works on 15-20% of the population. That is why there are so many of them out there to try. Each one is 'tweeked' a tiny bit differently chemically to help the brain. Don't give up on finding the right one for you as depression can exasperate pain and fatigue.
Take care, Everyone.
Posted 28 October 2009 - 06:35 AM
I did a little more checking yesterday and what I found really makes me wonder about medications. I did some research on generic Wellbutrin, buproprion, and found that when many people used the generic it did crazy things to them. The original medication is released into the blood stream at a different rate than the generic. My doctor said she would put me on the generic Wellbutrin. I guess I will have to find out if my insurance would cover the name brand, and I would be willing to try that.
The exercise I have been getting the last two days definitely helped. So has talking here. Telling people I'm not really feeling right has been a big help. Rather than trying to look like I have it all together. Of course, I'm selective in who I tell that to at work.
Teaching college is a little easier than a K-12 class would be, so I need to count my blessings.
Thanks for the support. This is such a wonderful site. Warm thoughts going out to you all.
Please send warm weather my way, we are going to be in Minneapolis, MN Saturday night to watch the football game in the new outdoor stadium on the UM campus. Our daughter is in the marching band. I can't wait to see the band, but I'm going to look awfully strange in my parka, snow pants, boots, hat, big mittens that hold hand warmers, many blankets, etc.... I told my daughter to tell people that I'm from Florida and that is why I'll be dressed in so many layers. HA HA! I think I'm going to look into buying a nice fuzzy lined ear flap hat while we are in MN. The high for the day is predicted to be 41, lows of 31. By 7pm, game start time, it will be in the 30's. and windy. BRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!
Posted 30 October 2009 - 09:27 AM
Not to worry...I'm sure you will be in "good company", being dressed warmly is very "vogue" in MN!lol
I believe your hunch may well be right on! I hope that your insurance will approve the brand name medication,
also. I too, have heard about side effects of Welbutrin, as you mentioned and am inclined to feel as you do!
Best of luck with this!
Enjoy your wonderful weekend!
Posted 01 November 2009 - 04:30 PM
I wasn't out of fashion, most of the people, other than the crazy college students dressed in very skimpy costumes, were dressed for the cold.
We had a wonderful time, and even got to visit with our daughter for a short time. The drive has aggrevated my hips, but otherwise, I was actually withstanding the cold better than my husband. He refused to use any of the warmers I'd bought, and he didn't have on multiple layers. We left the game at half time because he was cold. I would have been cold by the end of the game. We had the fleece blanket I'd made for our daughter, of course maroon and gold.
Acknowledging my mood has done a little to help it.
Posted 02 November 2009 - 08:33 AM
I'm sorry your husband didn't follow your lead, as it can be so miserable, bieng cold...especially when it's as humid as it is in Minnesota!
I only wish you could have had a longer visit with your daughter. Yet, quality is better than quantity, especially when the opportunities might be few and far between, as was likely the case with your daughter.
I'm so glad you were able to get away!
Posted 02 November 2009 - 12:11 PM
Good luck, and feel better
Posted 03 November 2009 - 04:20 AM
Barbara aka relicmom1
Posted 03 November 2009 - 03:57 PM
Well, today I spoke with the counselor at work. We had a nice talk, even after being interrupted by a fire drill. She is checking into some things for me, and suggested I see a psychiatrist to help in finding a medicine that might work for me. She thought Cymbalta might be better than Wellbutrin, bupropion. She wants to make sure that we evaluate the medicine with regard to my symptoms that bother me the most.
She also wanted to look into finding a way to get some talk therapy for long term. I am so glad I talked to her. I had to keep from tearing up, crying tears really dries my eyes so much. It actually went better than I thought.
I see her again next week. I think this is going to help a lot. I would encourage everyone to not wait until things get to a breaking point before talking to someone.
Posted 03 November 2009 - 04:31 PM
Glad to hear your appointment went well....I'm sure that everything else will fall in line for you too....keep up the good work!!