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The World's First Virtual Pity Party

Kaleidoscope Dartboard by Shelley EnszHere's an array of great party items for use whenever you or a friend feel like properly groveling around in depression, anxiety, and general overall misery. Now please get real sad and cry, weep, moan and groan right along with us. Your tears are ALWAYS welcome here!

Welcome
Diagnosis Roulette Wheel
Judy T's Pity Party Story
Medical Misadventures
Meditation for Depression
Pity Party Mugs
Pity Party Music
Pity Party Slogans
Pity Party Supplies
Undiagnosable Blues
Virtual Dartboard
Emotional Adjustment (Main Page)

Virtual Pity Party: Diagnostic Roulette Wheel

Instructions For Use

Save THOUSANDS of dollars in wasted medical expenses! Use our Faulty Diagnostic Roulette Wheel, in the comfort of your own home. Simply twirl the arrows every time you're due for a doctor's appointment. These instructions should always be taken with two Prednisone, and a grain of salt.

Many of us with autoimmune disease joined the Virtual Pity Party because we're sick and tired of hearing a different diagnosis every time we go to the doctor's office. So we sent out our Eye-Team Investigators and found that faulty Diagnosis Roulette Wheels are used in 99% of doctor's offices.

The faulty wheels have at least four twirling arrows, which are constantly in motion, except for one arrow which is glued on "All in Head." When arrows have been known to stop, they are usually found hovering right on the dividing lines.

A few arrows have actually been known to land in categories: most often Fibromyalgia but also sometimes Lupus. However, when the patient then takes a deep breath, the resulting sigh sets the arrows in motion again.

The Diagnosis Wheel manufacturer denies all responsibility. The NIH ordered a recall, but the AMA objected and the FDA overturned it. So, odds are this situation will persist well into the next millenium…provided of course that we all live through the Y2K Bug (a time joke; this party began in 1999.)

From Judy Y

Well Shelley, I am sitting here with tears rolling down my checks, my mouth cracked in the corners from laughing my guts out and Ed's ready to call the men in the white coats over this Diagnosis Roulette Wheel… I LOVE IT ----FANTASTIC JOB! Now is there any way we can arrange to send it to the medical community -—think of the expediency and fiscal good sense it would establish!… Better yet, maybe we should just send it to the general public and let them do the work… the conclusions would probably be the same!

To Judy Y from Shelley

Judy, you're the one who started this whole thing, what with your Pity Party Supply List where you requested a Diagnostic Roulette Wheel. Furthermore, you're having too much fun at this pity party so I am sending you to the other room, with Syl and Linda, until you do the Meditation for Depression and get properly sad again.

A Rather Sexy Disease by Don Alfera

I have to say that the best I have seen is when the doctor was doing my first biopsy, he said that it could not be any form of scleroderma because that was a woman's disease. I was confused..especially when the results came back. HHHHMMMMMM maybe this guy could get a wheel of his also. (LOL) (Also see Don's Story)

ER Undiagnosis… by Judy T

I had an emergency doctor examine me once. He was pretty thorough, although he kept saying I had lupus not scleroderma. I told him I had been diagnosed so long ago and that it was confirmed every once in a while. My primary doc has all my records going back fifty years, so knows what's what and he scoffed at this guy's ideas (when I told him later, in fact he had a good laugh over it). Anyway, I say that just as a preface to the emergency doctor's thinking. Weird! He looked at my hands, typical scleroderma, some clubbing of my fingers, thin, and, (let's face it) ugly skin, etc. then he asked, "Have your hands always been this small?" All I could think was, "No, they used to be huge, but aren't sanforized, so every time I wash them, they shrink." Strange, strange, guy.

Take the Scleroderma Chair Test! by Lynn W.

My personal favorite was the doc who told me I could not possibly have Scleroderma because I could rise to a standing position from a chair with no problem…let's put him first on the list to receive the Diagnostic Roulette Wheel.

Go to Virtual Pity Party: Medical Misadventures
 
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In Loving Memory

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