My mum, Pauline, was diagnosed with chronic fibrosing alveolitis (CFA) in November 2004. After numerous visits to get second opinions, we were told that it was not CFA, but no-one could tell us exactly what it was.
Less than twelve months later, on September 8, 2005, my mum died in the hospital, after suffering a collapsed lung three weeks earlier. Mum did not smoke at any time in her life, and worked full time right up until she was admitted to the hospital.
I cannot put into words how much it hurts. I am thirty-two years of age, but I feel lost and vulnerable without my mum. The image of her dying in the hospital, knowing that she was dying, and telling us that she loved us and would always be with us, will haunt me forever.
On the outside, I am doing fine. I'm holding down a good job and looking after my dad and brothers, but inside I am screaming. I miss her so much and feel so sad all the time. I also feel that no one else understands. I have female friends who I thought would be able to empathize with me, but they are not able to give me the support that I would really benefit from. How can they not know how horrendous this is?
I would love to talk to other women who have lost their mums and just want to talk about their feelings. I am a good listener! Thank you for your time.
New email address needed 11-15-06 SLE
Old Email Prefix:c.cochrane
Story edited 11-19-05 JTD
Story posted 11-23-05 SLE
ISN Senior Artist: Sherrill Knaggs
Story Editor: Judith Devlin
Chronic Fibrosing Alveolitis
SCLERO.ORG is the world leader for trustworthy research, support, education and awareness for scleroderma and related illnesses, such as pulmonary hypertension. We are a service of the nonprofit International Scleroderma Network (ISN), which is a 501(c)(3) U.S.-based public charitable foundation, established in 2002. Meet Our Team, or Volunteer. Donations may also be mailed to: