I am thirty-nine years old. I have had scleroderma for seven years. When I first got sick, I thought I was dying. My fingers started hurting really bad. I did not know what in the world was wrong with me. My local doctor sent me to the emergency room, where an internal medicine specialist diagnosed me with Raynaud's. I had been his patient for a year. He finally told me that if I did not get to a rheumatologist soon, that I could die.

I started out at the Medical Mall in Jackson, Mississippi, until I got on disability. Once I got my disability I found my own doctor. I have a great doctor. She has been able to get my disease under control. Her name is Dr. Valee Harisdangkul, and she is wonderful. When I started seeing her, the scleroderma had already moved to my face. Since then it has moved back down to my elbows. My hands and arms are crippled.

In the last eight months I have felt better than I have since I have been sick. I am a survivor. I have a nineteen-year-old daughter, and a four-year-old grandson. That's worth fighting for!

For the first year I did not lay down, I did not sleep. If I even looked at a bed I would scream. I was taking a strong dose of pain relievers but I am back down to a lower dose now. I am on various medications for circulation, damaged nerve endings, blood thinning, finger and elbow ulcers, and for stress.

If you wonder how I type, I use one finger on my left hand. On my right hand, all my fingers are bent under, and my arms are contracted at the elbow.

My mother has been to every doctor appointment with me since I have been sick. We traveled to Oxford, Tupelo, Tennessee, and back to Jackson, Mississippi, for treatment. She has stuck with me from me screaming in pain, day after day, and not being able to ride but for a short distance at a time without pulling over for a break.

I love my mother. There is nothing better than having her at my side. She has probably heard and responded to my every cry. May God bless her! Thanks, Mom.

All my meanness as a teenager is paying off. I have strong will power, and a lot of faith. Please feel free to email me if you like. Thank you so much for letting me share my feelings. I hope this will help somebody who is going through the same thing I am.