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  • barefut

    Just for Today

    By barefut

    I'm tired. So tired. Tired of nausea,  of living in the bathroom,  of pain, of this dreary weather. Tired of being tired. Tired of scleroderma.    Today I gave up. I let scleroderma win. And it felt good. Sometimes I just don't have any fight in me. Some warrior I am. I don't even have the energy to be angry. And you know what? I don't care. At least for today, I don't care.    Sometimes we need a break and we never get one from Scleroderma but at least we can give ourselves
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  • barefut

    My Scleroderma Diagnosis Story

    By barefut

    Not long after my first son was born I started having a lot of unexplained muscle pain and fatigue. The year was 1997. Soon, my hair started falling out - by the hand fulls. Not in clumps but overall thinning, at an alarming rate. I went to a dermatologist and he said that since I was nursing it was probably a lack of vitamin K. So I took vitamin K. I was having lower back pain and since I had been diagnosed with a bulging disc from a work related injury when I was 5 months pregnant, I w
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Fame At Last!

Fame at last! Well actually just a little bit. As you may already know, I work voluntarily for our local radio station, promoting cooking at home. The station contacted me and asked for some help in organising a fundraiser in which they want me to make some cakes promoting the station.   As the result of me saying yes, I have my name almost in lights. It's all too much to take since I've also given an interview for Science Magazine as well and one of my silly poems will also be featured in the

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Letting Go

It's very rare that I write blogs on Saturday but fact is, I just haven't had time. Not that I have too much going on, gone are the days of running around like a headless chicken; whatever that means? But overall the last two days have been a bit hectic.   My daughter went hyper when her boyfriend, a cute little guy, decided to come round to see her. The shame she feels about this farm, I share in sympathetic agreement. It's not exactly the kind of place you would want to bring your flame to,

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An Answer For Serena!

I think Serena (Barefut) is pointing the finger at me -- yes! I know who you are referring to when you mention chickens! And I applaud the fact that you've brought up public conveniences in your blog too. They happen to be my pet hate also, especially where the toilet rolls are concerned. They can never be too low off the ground for me, I am somewhat vertically challenged in that department. Which brings me to a rather amusing story and which may go some way to explain why toilet rolls are place

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Random stuff

In thumbing through a specialty catalog the other day I came across 2 items that reminded me of a couple of members here. One was a T-shirt that said, "It Is What It Is". The other was an outdoor 'welcome' mat that said, "Close The Door The Chickens Will Come In!" I'll let you all try and figure out who I am talking about. ;) And if anyone wants the name of that catalog, feel free to PM me.   I may have over done it a bit in my workout tonight. Sharp chest pains. Please, if I have to ha

barefut

barefut

Crunch -- What Crunch?

Fire leaping up the chimney, two layers of clothing and a gloomy picture outside. So good to be home -- not!   Where has this year gone? I was looking forward to spring and then summer; I'm still waiting! The summer never materialised nor with it my dreams of a completed house, roses round the door, etc!   Yes! It's been an eventful year, though I don't know where much of it went. We had sadness by the bucketful, joy in small doses and complete stalemate where hopes for a normal family home

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A short update

Long time no blog. Just enjoying my first cup of decaf for the day as the sweat from house cleaning evaporates from my forehead (why do I need a treadmill?).   My new employer held its annual awards dinner lastnight at a fancy golf and country club. I really wanted to go but my body didn't. I even had something to wear and the boys were pawned off on the neighbors for the night. Oh well, there's always next year.   Since the kids spent the night at the neighbors, I got to sleep in until 8

barefut

barefut

Home with Raynaud's!

The pool area was very quiet the morning after the Greek Evening, for reasons you can probably guess? There was much wine being drunk and a few very worse for wear individuals by the end of the evening -- fortunately I was not one of them.   Yannis was leaning on the bar waiting for customers. He turned on the music as I chose my sun lounger. My hubby and daughter followed on but it was like we had the whole place to ourselves -- it was 9.30am. The sun was beating down, just one more day and w

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No Raynaud's For A Week! - Part 4

What to wear for the Greek Evening was probably the hardest decision I'd had to make all week. Do I wear a dress, nice shorts, or pants? A dress would look more formal and since Greek Evenings had a tendancy to get rather frivolous, I decided to go with 3/4 length shorts.   I had no intention of dancing the Zorba or throwing myself into a belly dance (that would have been interesting). My participation would be merely as a spectator but somehow I always get dragged in and that usually causes a

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No Raynaud's For A Week! - Part 3

I was turning a decisive colour by day three. I had strap marks where my bikini had been. It's not the ideal way of looking your best, I know it can be dangerous but as long as it's done with care and only a couple of times a year, I guess wrong or right, I take the chance. I had a high factor lotion but to be honest I just enjoyed the warmth more than having a tan!   It was the day that we were invited to join in the fun on a planned Greek dancing evening which was to be held at the complex o

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No Raynaud's For A Week! - Part 2

Second day began much as the day ended previously. I was on my lounger before the rest of the complex got up. Already the temperature was in the high 80's, today was definately going to be a scorcher.   A single bead of sweat ran down my cheek, but it was a satisfying feeling after the only moisture to run down my face was the pouring rain of home and no way was I moving out of the sun -- I'd frazzle first! Thank goodness the sun agrees with me and I'm not unfortunate enough to have a reaction

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No Raynaud's For A Week! - Part 1

"They'll take you away grinning to yourself like that!" My daughter observed. "C'mon, share it with us then!"   She was remarking upon my state of expression and looking far away in a world of my own with a stupid smile. I was dreaming but more to the point of reminiscing as I drifted back to Crete remembering little events that made the trip so special.   Who do you suppose would be the last person you'd see at the airport? A neighbour perhaps? No not us -- The Bank manager! And to make ma

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Roll On Summer

Okay! Business as usual. Touched down at Manchester airport and the script went like this: First Raynaud's attack in seven days, pain in my legs, numb toes, chattering teeth -- Welcome home!   "Bah!" 6 hours previously I'd been wallowing in 90 degrees plus and here I was shivering in 40 degrees of grey skies, swirling wind and grim faced fellow holidaymakers. The colour drained from each and everyone and the golden glow of sun tanned complexions turned into a misfitting collection of tourists

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Firsts

First day of school. YAY!!! Need I say more? Nah.   First day on the new job. YAY!!! Need I say more? Yes! Not only do I have a desk, I have an office! A brand new cushy office in a brand new cushy bank with brand new cushy furniture. It will make up for losing my water view at my old bank.   My new bank is a bank/coffee shop upstairs from a funky uptown market/deli. My new position is Personal Banker. I am looking forward to new challenges and a better paycheck. Pretty cool I ha

barefut

barefut

Ochi ( No) Raynauds!

If that phone rings once more -- I'll throw it in the river! At one point I was speaking to my daughter on the mobile, the land phone was ringing and someone was knocking at the door at the same time -- Arrgghh! I'm trying to get all my last minute packing done and now I've lost track of schedule. Was I supposed to collect my hubby from work this lunchtime?   I did all my rushing around early doors. Went into town at 8am before the shops were open, which was a bit silly really because I then h

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Sunshine

Not long now before I board the plane and leave weeds, rain, and housebuilding dust behind. If I said that I was perhaps just a little bit excited, it would be an understatement of fact! The only problem will be the reality that it will all be just as we left it when we come back!   I've had a busy sort of week with this and that! Besides writing blogs, I wrote a short piece for The Raynaud's And Scleroderma Association as well! And just to cap it all, I gave an interview to a magazine for an

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On The Up

The excitement mounts as I begin to pack my case. It can rain as much as it wants; I'm off to Greece! The sun lotion -- got that! Mosquito repellent -- got it! After sun -- Yep! Now,what else? Camera -- Yes! I think that's it?   I had my hair cut yesterday so I guess I'm ready. I can't wait, I think it's pretty obvious! And to cap it all, my new purchase, an Antique Vienna Wall Clock arrived too. My hubby began building the wall again, Yipppee! It's like we've been hibernating underground for

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The Fountain

By the time 2008 came in, the very least I would have expected is a lovely house with a beautiful cottage garden and roses around the door. So why am I disappointed then? Well despite not having a lovely finished home, roses round the door, beautiful garden -- okay! You get the picture, I have a half-finished home, weeds around the door and a jungle for a garden with a lovely fountain! ... wait a minute, did I say fountain? Yep, that's what I said! And with it 18 beady blue guilty eyes crowded a

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Lickin My Wounds

Licking my wounds, oh my, I'm sore I ain't doing no blackberry pickin no more The bestest fruit upon the bush And I fell under on my tush!   The bowl went up after all my pickins And fed a waiting bunch of chickens I think they thought they were in mighty luck As they ate each berry with a cluck!   So there was I in a very sad pose Dare not move not even my toes A thorn was stuck, well you know where? And I'm sure someone saw me lying there!   Stupid me! I scorned and I swore Tha

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Wake up call

We attempted a day at the Lake yesterday but got rained out 1/2 way there so we went school shopping with grandpa's gift money instead. On the way home we were stopped on the highway for nearly 2 hours due to a terrible multi car accident. We counted 6 aid cars passing us to get to the scene. I was sick in my stomach. Had I not stopped to rummage for empty boxes on our way out of the warehouse store, we could have been part of that accident.   Driving by the wreckage, the worst of the cars

barefut

barefut

Thorn-Bird

I cannot quite believe what I did yesterday. My hairbrained idea to make sweet fruit jam turned very bitter indeed and had my daughter in fits of laughter and my hubby scowling. I'd decided that the blackberries, which grow like a plague around the farm, were looking decidingly pickable! I know that they make a lovely jam with crab apples and my family and friends love me making Bramble jelly for them. So I set out with my rather large bowl, firstly stripping the bush closest to my home then ven

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Break In The Rain

In just over one week's time I'l be sitting by a crystal clear sea on a beautiful beach with the only sound of rippling waves at my feet! I may be a bit premature but I'm falling into holiday mode.   The British summer came and went away in what seemed like just two days in May. It's rained almost every day since. The shops are full of autumnal wear and the clothes that I longed for at the begining of summer have lost their appeal as they hang rather shabbily on the sale rail at the far end of

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The Bathroom Derby

I took one look at all the washing, never mind ironing, and closed the door! Piles of shorts, tee shirts and undies all waiting for inclusion into the suitcases. I've never felt less like doing the job and I need some kind of inspiration to get me going. It doesn't seem right somehow, to be getting out summer clothing when all you want to wear is woolies. I look like the classic picture of a Raynaud's sufferer. Our summer (well, what summer?) has been just about as bad as it gets and not to ment

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Marathon Mum!

Never mind the Olympics -- I have a gold medal in morning marathons. I seriously believe that I do a pentathlon event, which incidentaly is 5 things being derived from the Greek numerical number penthe (5).   On trying to lie in a little this morning, I suddenly remembered that it was the day my trash can gets emptied. I jumped up, fell over trying to get my leg into my jeans, thus waking my daughter who moaned from her room. "What are you doing?"   I uttered a few choice words as I ran down

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