I'm tired. So tired. Tired of nausea, of living in the bathroom, of pain, of this dreary weather. Tired of being tired. Tired of scleroderma.
Today I gave up. I let scleroderma win. And it felt good. Sometimes I just don't have any fight in me. Some warrior I am. I don't even have the energy to be angry. And you know what? I don't care. At least for today, I don't care.
Sometimes we need a break and we never get one from Scleroderma but at least we can give ourselves
Not long after my first son was born I started having a lot of unexplained muscle pain and fatigue. The year was 1997. Soon, my hair started falling out - by the hand fulls. Not in clumps but overall thinning, at an alarming rate. I went to a dermatologist and he said that since I was nursing it was probably a lack of vitamin K. So I took vitamin K.
I was having lower back pain and since I had been diagnosed with a bulging disc from a work related injury when I was 5 months pregnant, I w
Today looks pretty grim. The pitter patter of rain woke me from my sleep in the early hours and since we haven't seen much of the wet stuff this spring, I suppose it's welcome for some farmers. The only problem is when it starts, it doesn't know when to stop! For the time being my potatoes will appreciate some untreated wetness as will my peas and beetroot no doubt.
Hubby has dreamt up another hobby-- Bee keeping! And I've been on the net looking for hives and equipment, something tells me t
My thanks are to Penny for the time she has spent
For every last word, I knew what she meant
Hospital food leaves a lot to be desired
If I had my way the chef would be fired
For I've spent some time in a bed on a ward
And mealtimes came round at times it was hard
I can no longer eat and although it's a shame
I had a lucky escape all the same
You don't have to eat this muck one said
As she pushed it away from her bed
I thought I was hungry but boy when it came
I think it was some an
Down the hallway comes the squeaking of wheels,
As the kitchen staff deftly delivers some meals,
And some of you might find it quite surprising,
That the scents that came with them were quite appetizing.
And I actually lifted the cover to see,
What the Hospital Chef had prepared for me.
Although I had made the nurses aware,
Of the foods I am allergic, it taunted me there.
Eggs scrambled sat perched next to crispy fried bacon,
Even smelling it was asking for trouble making.
The aroma of
The goats are chewing happily in the field. The geese in similar mood are preening themselves in the yard and the cat rubs herself against the kitchen table with a loud purr. All seems sublimely peaceful in the country until the situation changes with a scream from upstairs.
"Muuumm! There's a bird in my bedroom come and get it out!"
This little frightened bird clung to the curtain rail not knowing what to do as I entered the room. It had flown in through an open window and it succeeded
Ahh! the end of the week and my one and only purpose of getting myself ready to go out and into town is the fact that it's the day I present my little slot on the radio. Things are about to change with the little slot becoming an extended show and me, yes me, a presenting DJ-ess.
Today I sat with my most favourite presenter at the station. He's my favourite because he makes me laugh and makes me go all unnecessarily unprofessional as he pulls faces as I try to describe my Dish Of The Week.
Everything's coming up roses -- well peas, potatoes and carrots, that is. I've achieved a successful veg patch without the pitfalls of a novice. Why, I was even called an expert by a passing friend who called in to say hello! She went away with a box full of the fruits of my labour, tomatoes, cucumbers and some little chilli plants from my greenhouse. She was amazed by my achievement, none more than myself because all I've ever managed to grow in the past is cress.
"What's your secret?" she
Sometimes I think that my faithful little service dog has gotten the short end of the stick when it comes to his Mistressâ€”me.
When he picked me out at only eight weeks of age he had no clue that I would prove to be so severely untrainable and such a major frustration at times. Had he known he would have probably played dead or done nothing but scream his little head off the moment he met me instead of curling against me and saying with those expressive eyes of his, â€œOka
Things were so different when I used to be fat
Oh, by the way I didn't mind being called that!
All the jolly woman don't have issues with their weight
That explains a lot then, now I'm a sickly size eight
Once my rounded figure was one for those to mock
Could never find an outfit or a suitable frock
I always felt discomfort in jeans that were to tight
And had to battle each morning, the zip was a fight
Lay on top of the bed in an uncompromising position
Daren't breathe out for fear o
Well, my hubby hit five-0 over the weekend and I couldn't help but tease him a little. A gentle reminder told him that I was still in my forties, albeit just 18 months behind him! Of course he stood some very snide remarks from his friends who labelled him as officially an "Owd Chap". Fifty is surely a milestone and one you never think will happen to you.
Well, he was given quite a few bottles of whiskey and he sat for most of the weekend with a cross eyed look and permanent grin on his face
I see my new primary care physician this Tuesday and get to go to see a dermatologist on Thursday. (Just another â€œistâ€ in a long line of special â€œistsâ€)
I am actually excited about seeing the new primary care doctor since I sent my husband in as a guinea pig first a few weeks ago to see how involved the doctor is, and watched in amazement as my reluctant hubby went through blood testing, x-rays, a stress test and being referred to a gastroenterologist for his very first colonoscopy.
Okay ladies, thanks for the belly laughs! No thanks for making me wet my pants. Dented bosoms and parking lot face plants?! The visuals you two have stirred up in my imagination will have me laughing for days. Bless you both for that. How I would love to share an evening and a bottle of wine with you two!
I have nothing to blog now. I just want to bask in the afterglow of endorphins and massage my cheeks back to their former selves. Oh, and change my pants.
I have come to the conclusion that I just might be in a tiny bit of denial when it comes to my mobility issues.
I have yet to go to the Department of Motor Vehicles and get a permanent handicapped placard to hang from my rear view mirror because I keep telling myself that those things are for people that really need them and I can get around just fine. Oh, I have had a temporary one a couple of times after surgeries on my foot and ankle, but I never asked for or pushed for a permanent one,
If I have to blow my nose one more time.... The dreaded cold is back! I'm tired of sniffling and wiping my conk until it's red and sore, lovely subject by the way! My daughter even gave me a pack of her tissues which are mentholated -- imagine carrying those around with you all day? Everyone close by was breathing pure fresh air on account of my sneezing episode which brought out at least 4 handkerchiefs in one go!
Serious issue now: I've lost more weight -- a full 7 pounds. That may not s
As I sit glaring in mute frustration at my foe, the safety wrapper on a new tube of skin cream, I have to wonder just who is being kept safe here.
Everything you buy these days is glued, sealed, shrink wrapped and welded shut to prevent product tampering and while I can fully understand that this is a necessary evil in todayâ€™s world, I also know that it makes life so much more difficult for me, the end consumer.
I have considered tossing such things to Loki, my faithful service dog, an
â€œHon, arenâ€™t you a little close to that car in front of us?â€
So begins our average trip, I will admit that I am not the best of passengers and might have raised passenger seat driving to an art form, but if I can read the speedometer in the car in front of me I get a little edgy. My husband, on the other hand, loves to drive and check out the passing scenery... unfortunately it is not always in that order.
Our trips to Pennsylvania take about six to eight hours, depending on traf
The warm weather combined with the fact that my yard is the shame of the neighborhood (they have green grass year round and flowers that change color upon request) made me decide that it was time to visit the Garden Mega Store and tackle the jungle I call home.
We drove to the wonderland of blooming flowers and greenery that seemed to give every shopper a â€˜come hitherâ€™ stare where people in coveralls and mud boots discussed soil PH and fertilizer variables leaving me feeling like I was v
It was so beautifully put by Barefut: writers we are! And we owe it all to Carrie, AKA Jefa, for making it possible for us to express our feelings in a blog and not making the whole thing an unreadable sham,which would be the situation in my case.
Not since high school has my English been more called for. It's a long time since I donned my school tie and skipped off merrily through the gates. That wasn't the case -- oh no! in fact I hated school and everything in the classroom, even the teac
Wow, would you look at that -- I am a blogger. A blogger for the International Scleroderma Network! (International!) My blog even has its very own (witty-ish) title and everything -- I think I might capitalize Blogger.
One might even go so far as to say that, I am a 'writer'. I write; therefore I am a writer. That is bold for me to say. I have always felt inhibited from actually referring to myself as'a writer. That term is reserved for published people who make a living from their w
There once were two bloggers with colds in their heads
People kept telling them that they should be in bed
"Whatever will my family do then?" they said
Whatever will your family do when you're dead?
For that's surely their fate if they kept running 'round
They were driving themselves right into the ground
That is not where their families want them to be found!
They need those bloggers with a body that's sound
So off to bed they did go that day
And in their beds they loved to stay
Cheers! Barefut. Bottoms up! That whine certainly hit the spot! Oh how I empathise with you, although I no longer have that time of the month -- one less womany thing to worry about eh? I do however, have all the aches and pains of something we still share --Vintage Sclero!
The memory thing too has me wondering about my sanity. Things that I associated with the elderly or the absent mindness that a woman of a certain age falls victim too, are becoming too frequent for even me not to forget!
There goes the cork! I feel lousy. No, lousy would feel good. On the lousy scale of 1 - 10, I'm at about a 20. On top of the normal everyday lousy, I have been trying to hack up a lung for 2 weeks all the while trying to keep from peeing my pants with every cough. I also think my head might explode. After staying home with the boys for a week when they had the crud, now I have to continue on to work with my crud. I'm sure my fellow employees appreciate that. Oh, and it's that time of the
I can't seem to shake off this cold! Just when I thought it was merrily on it's way; it came back worse than before and dare I say has ruined my chances of becoming a radio presenter for this week anyway! I could hardly air my croaky, bunged up voice, could I? So instead I'll cough and splutter my way around until I'm germ free.
I have no patience with anything. All I want to do is sit close by the fire and it's a real shame because we've just had the best week of sun for over a year! My pol