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Barbara Lowe's Life with Scleroderma

Entries in this blog

Stereotypical Middle Aged Woman

I've just been given the biggest humiliation ever. I can't talk about it as it's too crude, but here I am splitting my sides -- it could only ever happen to me!   I've never had a life less ordinary. I consider myself fortunate enough to be touched by a sense of humour, but is it a curse? Wherever I go I find trouble -- doesn't matter where I go, or in what context it may be! My whole day is a battle, my life an open problem page to solve. I can't do anything right, I can't do anything wrong -

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Men vs Woman Drivers?

All is calm -- but wait, it's only 8am! After the tribulations of yesterday my expectations for today are more hopeful. I hope it doesn't "come in three's" as they say! By that very reckoning I still have two more to go!   My car is sitting looking like a scrap yard challenge in the drive. And somehow, though I don't know why, this whole thing seems to reflect my driving as a woman as seen through the eyes of a man.   The assumption that if involved in an accident, no matter who the party

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Bang! Goes My Day

I can see this is going to be "One of those day's" It all started with a bang! -- literally. I simply hate taking my daughter to college, not because it's inconvenient or anything, just that it's a rat run and pandemonium! Cars strewn everywhere, parking a nightmare, frustrated drivers and gungho teenagers zooming around in souped up rust buckets. No wonder there are accidents on a regular basis and the road is purely trecherous!   I dropped my daughter off in the usual manner, finding a safe

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Barbara The Great (why not?)

Y'Know whenever I'm feeling down, There's one thing I recall My life has been full of battles and I've kept up with them all I ran a fruitful business and stood my ground most times I never reached the dizzy heights but I almost made the climbs And when I think about all I've done, about all the worry and all the fun I'd never swap my life, no sir! For every trial I have won.   They said I couldn't do it! Build a house, why not! I might be a bit decrepit but I can keep up with you lot W

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Dawn Chorus

All is quiet down on the farm Animals tucked in, safe from harm Another day gone, dawn chorus will begin No chance of sleeping, or a little lie in   The geese begin honking at dawn's early light Flapping and scrapping, out breaks a fight And I'm trying to sleep, I turn to the wall If they don't move in a minute I'll neck them all   The goats begin bleating, the cockerel crows Out through the window my hubby's slipper goes The dog runs riot and makes off with the shoe At least she'll

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The Great Escape!

Okay! Looking after my menagerie of animals can be quite a task, particulary when they tend to roam exactly where you don't want them to.   Our land expansion is fairly vast so who would think that a small area to the front of our home which lies beside the road, would be an ideal congregating place for a flock of geese, herd of goats, 8 chickens, 1 cat and a stupid dog? Well let me tell you that's just what happens!   My hubby could sleep through a nuclear explosion, not that I would wish

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Just Getting On With It!

I can't remember ever writing two blogs in one day. You may think I'm bored or have nothing better to do, you could not be further from the truth! Truth is I have far too much to do but I have neither the interest nor strength to do even the slightest chore.   I fed the animals, then found a sick chicken which now resides by my fire. Warmth sometimes is all they need -- I know exactly how they feel! I feel like a sick chicken myself. I was up too early this morning, got cold and it pretty much

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Menagerie Of Animals

By all accounts, yesterday was anything but normal. I arose from slumber with a sickly feeling that was to last for most of the day. We were expecting new arrivals but my hubby was at work leaving me to cope with anything that might happen in between. Goats were on my mind -- where to put them if they arrived unexpectedly? I was on tenterhooks. Finally my hubby rang to say he was on his way home to pick up the trailer, at least now the situation was partly under control.   I couldn't help thi

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Mini Zoo

Your wish, barefut, is my command! I read your blog and thought, Would an extension to my mini zoo really be that difficult? True my condition is such that I can no longer run faster than an irate gander, or jump on a goose so as to clip it's wings but I like to think that my youthful looks (er! what do you mean, "Who are you kidding?") and athletic figure could cope with perhaps a couple of cute little pygmy goats.   I set about my quest after numerous attempts by my gormless hubby to obtain

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Tea Break

The weather they say is all wrong! Earthquakes, Hurricanes and Twisters are all from lands much further afield from ours. They may be common place for some but please, ENGLAND! It barely breaks with sunshine, is very friendlly with the rain and the cold just loves to reside here long into summer.   Tonight we are bracing for one of the worst storms ever predicted. 80 miles per hour winds, hail and rain -- batten down the hatches and tie the chickens down if all comes to fruition. Of course ne

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Macho Males

So much can happen in the space of one week! The weather can go from pleasantly mild to arctic conditions overnight, and we've even had an earthquake to boot. Thankfully the quake did nothing but wake a few folk and yes! the earth moved for me.   The background noise is one of crowing chickens and honking geese, the black cockerel may well have cause to crow in fact! The truth is if I hadn't got home when I did yesterday, my white cockerel would have been in a much worse state than he was. Som

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Vegetarian Chicken?

It's 7am Saturday morning -- why am I up so early then? Well it's not your usual sclero problems, more the necessity to commandeer the computer before my daughter wakes from slumber. Yes! She's found a whole new world out there in the form of friends on the net on a site geered up for instant messaging and all her friends from college are signed up to it.   I don't mind the fact that she spends endless hours tapping away on my keyboard. Who am I to complain when I do exactly the same thing mys

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Something For Nothing -- No Way!

It's that time of year again! -- Oh, I'm not complaining because when the geese get the hots for each other, I know that spring is just around the corner. Problem is that they become so vicious, and a nasty nip from that huge gander is the last thing I need right now.   Yesterday I was outdoors when the phone rang, typical huh!. My dad flustered and began shouting for me to come indoors as there was someone wishing to talk to me. I dashed across the lawn in my own style -- more a fast walk rea

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Memories That Make Me Smile

My decision to reinstate the family business has given me new hope that I have something to focus on and make myself useful. I only wish my family had the same view. The negative response from my daughter and also my hubby to a degree, has given me a little self doubt overnight. Will I be able to keep up, will I be able to work long hours and run a household, am I being completely stupid or just simply adventurous?   I found it difficult to even get out of bed this morning, another "I told you

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Tomatoes Or Cabbages?

I guess with too much time on your hands, your mind begins to wander. I was sat alone in my living room, reminiscing about days gone by. I could hear voices in my head (Don't worry I'm not schizophrenic -- yet!). My Uncle John holloring across the yard to my Uncle Joe -- " Cow's in the veg, Joe!"   Back then they grew tomatoes, sold the plants and grew rows upon rows of them in greenhouses spanning the entire length of the garden. The garden was just a small piece of land put aside -- the rest

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Gettin On With Life!

'Getting on with life' is a term I use loosely for the way I feel on a day to day basis, however there are days which bring me back to earth with a bang! I like to pretend that I am, after all, a normal human being. I look no different facially, a fortunate case I'm told. I act no differently with my friends and behave in much the same way as I've always done for the last 30 years or so. So when these 'off' days come it's a shock even to me.   Just when you're least expecting it, that little r

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Despair With Doctors

Much is said about doctors, be it good or bad. Fact is they are only human, with some exceptions of course! I've come across so many of them in my time, every age, nationality and gender. I therefore feel I've earned the right to applaud or critcise doctors, since my dealings with them have been many. The good ones always made me feel better, the bad ones always worse. I have, thankfully met more good than bad but the fact remains that there are bad ones out there and I fear those I've yet to me

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Milestones!

Support Groups, I never thought that I would ever in my life need one. I'm not the sort to confide in people or share my misfortune in a way that would attract sympathy or pity. In short what on earth am I doing relenting on my past tense?   I guess coming to terms with a chronic illness sets you apart from the norm, like I never thought I would marry,have a baby, grow old, least not get to 40! But here I am having done all 4 and past the 40 mark as well. I guess we all have our milestones and

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Self Inflicted Pain

I'm glad our football team won yesterday, it was a great treat for my daughter's 17th birthday. She received, amongst other things, a signed football from the team and a special treat from us -- a meal at the stadium.   It was bitterly cold, the wind was cutting and although I had two pairs of socks and a pair of furry boots on my feet, the cold still got through! My hands were dead for most of the match and my knees wouldn't work when I got up from my seat, so why did I do it? I guess that qu

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Let's Eat Pancakes!

This year I'm tossing pancakes for the old folk, residents of the local elderly care home after featuring them on my Thursday radio cooking spot.   We have lots of silly little customs, but these little holiday festivals always remind me that winter is slipping away and spring is just around the corner. I yearn for spring, even more for summer, and if you have Raynauds you will know why!   Last night was particulary rough. High winds, and a snow forecast drag me back to reality -- is winter

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Good Old Days

I'm at inner peace with my condition! By that I mean I have total acceptance of the way I am. I never went through denial, in fact I was more relieved to discover that the symptoms I'd been having were, in fact, not in my head but had a fancy name to boot, even Greek by origin!   That was 8 years ago when I thought I was going out of my mind! The word Hypochondria raised its ugly head on more occasions than I'd like to admit. Even my own family thought I was looking for attention or sympathy a

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Yesterday's Appointment

As far as appointments go I suppose yesterday was a bit mediocre. I travelled 30 miles there and the same back with a stiff neck, sore back and little patience with congestion at every road exit. No wonder I returned home feeling like I'd wasted a complete day with nothing to show!   The highlight of the day had to be meeting my friend in clinic otherwise I may have fallen asleep with boredom. And coupled with the fact that two people were called at once and fought for the weighing chair had m

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Money, Life And A Built House

Waking to the sound of a cockerel's crow may sound idyllic for some, indeed it was a very 'country thing' at first and it put a wry smile on my face as the young rooster tried his new found call: rock-a-doodle -- eeek as apposed to doooo! Now it's well and truly found its cry and personally I feel like chucking my boot at it.   My daughter is at an age where clothes, boyfreinds and personal appearance are the only thing that matters. It's not considered the in thing to be countryfied with an H

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Personal Triumph

I don't have many personal triumphs these days, in fact my days without any kind of trauma are few. Above all else, I have a family to be thankful for, a wonderful daughter to boast about, a lovely country life albeit pandemonium at times and a husband who is at least loyal if not totally understanding.   My personal triumph is a feather in my cap as they say. I fought the sytem and won! I battled for justice against a very flawed system, changed the law and got recompence for my father. Yes!

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Rain, Rain Go Away!

Today was my rheumatologist appointment. I say was, because I'm not going! I can't believe how bad the weather has been, not just recently but for over 12 months. It's hardly ever stopped raining and in the last 48hrs it's dropped over a months worth of rainfall. My unfinished house is flooded way above shoe level and I'm walking around in rubber boots.   I took my daughter to college this morning and I should have had a boat. The roads are all flooded, driving conditions are atrocious and it'

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