Jump to content
SCLERO.ORG
Sclero Forums
  • entries
    424
  • comments
    9
  • views
    754,034

About this blog

Barbara Lowe's Life with Scleroderma

Entries in this blog

Dreams Of Lazy Days

First day of spring and yet another year has passed. I have so much to look forward to, namely the completion of this ###### house which has dominated our lives since my husband's mad cap idea to rebuild a cottage that never had so much as a lick of paint since 1660. True it was a mammoth task, and we sure have made hard work of the whole thing -- I swear if I hear my daughter say "I hate living here" one more time, I'll up and leave myself. The onset of spring has me dreaming of long summer

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

Global Warming

Global warming! -----Where?. Climatic change is certainly happening but my views on the cause are very controversial. I'm a complete skeptic and don't believe what I'm being told. Sure we burn too much fossil fuels and we're all guilty of littering the planet -- there's just too many humans per square mile and too much technology. But my theory is this: I think global warming will happen anyway with or without our help. The dinosaurs would still be with us if nothing had changed although the

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

She's My Baby

It seems like only yesterday that I led my 3 year old daughter by the hand and into a room full of screaming rugrats and hyperventilating nursery assistants. The whole morning as I remember was upsetting and traumatic, not for my daughter... for me! She just let go of my grip and headed for the doll house in the corner with not so much as a sniffle. Me on the other hand, walked home with a lump stuck in my throat ready to burst at any moment and as soon as I got through my front door, I let go.

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

Shopping On The Nhs?

I'm almost up and running again, well up anyway! My nose continues to run and I have a nasty great cold sore right underneath my left nostril -- I'm sure in the old days I'd have been labeled a candidate for the Black Death, didn't they paint a huge X above the door? Anyway since my house needs a lick of paint, as long as they continue all round with it I have no worries. The cough is still troublesome -- I hear my hubby moan and turn quickly over in bed when I go into spasm, like Yeah! I can

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

No Time To Be Ill

One thing for sure about being ill, you have time to think! Not that I am a great thinker -- I go straight in feet first and no thought about anything, always willing to volunteer my services whatever the project. I couldn't find anything remotely humorous lying in bed staring at the ceiling and counting the flaws in the plaster except perhaps the cough which produced nothing but a gurgling rattle and then a blast of wind at the other end, at least something was moving. I couldn't just lie the

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

Atchoo!

You're not your normal self today whatever on earth that means I'm normally very cheery and bouncing full of beans! But you can have an off day, goodness knows I've had a few But the only person commenting, my friend happens to be you! Yes, I have a runny nose but that's normal to compare Having scleroderma is much worse and hard to bare I can surely rid myself of cold and fight off all those sneezes It's the other stuff I'm battling with the king of rare diseases   Oh I start to shiver

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

Those Dark Days

I'm determined to dig myself out of this pity pot of a hole I've dug for myself recently. I suppose we all get down in the dumps at times and I'm no exception- --Yeah! some folk may look at me and think, "There's nothing wrong with her" and in my little world there isn't. So how come some days feel so depressing? I have much to look back on over the last 3 years and although I don't like to dwell on the past the emotion takes over at times. I was writing on the message board, in fact it was

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

You Are What You Eat

Yikes! What am I doing this mad hormonal twit! I did a stint on the radio for Raynauds, did my bit And then I went and mentioned that it was my desire To be a roving reporter and available for hire I could be the next correspondent or even make TV But now I'm ahead of myself, little adventurous me Oh did I mention I have sclero, but the station didn't care And that makes me feel special to be of some use there   I really worry about children and how they eat then relax I don't think th

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

21-- Er Who!

I don't need no doctor to tell me how dizzy I am--in fact, I'm probably the queen of stupidity. I can't blame sclero, oh no! I've always been that way--- fact is sclero has slowed me down enough to think and my episodes of pure gormlessness are much fewer these days. However, when those moments arrive I do it grand style! Saturday was a busy day. I don't remember many days not being so, but last Saturday was a bit more hectic than normal. We were invited to a 21st birthday party, nothing un

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

The Terminator Meets Reality

There are certain things that make me cringe, things that make me annoyed and things that make me seethe! I am a relatively tolerant person even though my hormones may be in decline but I draw the line with the NHS! My six monthly rheumatologist appointment is nearing. I know I have the appointment, it's in a safe place. Last night around 7.30, I received a phone call from a female version of Stephen Hawkins, in other words a robotic voice! It said. If...your..name ..is .. Bar..bara .. Lowe

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

Daughter's Prom

Yikes! I'm like a little robot whizzing here and there I forget just where I'm going until I'm finally there My daughter's dress is waiting at the store for me to get And I'm rushing to the car in case the thing gets wet Mum! Please get my prom dress I've only got till July And at the rate the time is going, the days will surely fly My little girl's a lady, sixteen and leaving school And everything is either being stressed out or cool   Mum! I need some nice new shoes to go with my atti

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

Annual Check Up

Back to normality -- whatever that is? I've had some good feedback on my little stint on the radio, if only from my friends who were listening! All in all it's been a pretty average week, nothing with any substance to report. The usual stuff of nearing appointments and the wonder if anything new will emerge -- like, yeah they got a cure! -- dream on...... I know beforehand what I'm up against, a lengthy wait in a crowded room, people coming and going with slips of paper -- one department th

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

On The Airwaves

The last minute nerves kicked in and I began to wonder why on earth did I put myself forward for such a feat. I am of course talking about my day at the radio station. I started the day with doubt as I heard that the presenter was unavailable due to illness. Fortunately the station rang me to clarify the situation well in advance by informing me they'd arranged for a stand in DJ to conduct the interview -- The nerves began again just when I thought I'd gotten away with it, Drat! I arrived far

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

Change Of Life

I'm feeling kind of low today I didn't sleep a wink I cannot function properly or have the power to think I'm doing such stupid things coz my mind is all a blur This scleroderma thing I have, is more for me to incur Not only am I changing, my life is weird just coz I'm 46 and starting my natural menaupause   I'm generally the type of person who always feels the chill And if the whole family are sweating Y'know I never will My layers of heavy clothing whilst others wear skimpy gear I'm

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

Radio Ga Ga

Rushing round the house, scraps of paper in my hand Finding bit's of info wrapped up in a rubber band I'm going on the radio -- what ever will I wear I could sit and have the interview with nothing on -- bare! For no one will ever see me except the presenter and the mike What a horrible dream I'm having the thought never the like I'll put on my best trousers or perhaps a little dress I'm going to highlight Raynauds not going to impress   I have my little speech in hand, things I have to

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

Photo's Bring Back Memories

I was browsing through some of our old photographs when I came across a packet containing some really old snaps of myself and hubby, boyfriend as he was then, on vacation in Rhodes. My daughter let out a shriek as I passed her one of my then favourite pictures of her dad. He was leaning against a rowing boat in long shorts, flip flop sandals, sporting a truly 1980s hairstyle with an earring. "That's never my dad"? she yelled but it was. " Who is that in the peach dress -- don't say it's you

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

Personal Family Taxi Service

When I retired from work through illness, I thought that my life would change in that the rat race only ran around me and I not around in it! Memories of the past two and a half years are by no means sweet and I'm at pain to remember just how bad things got -- did I really go through so much? Here I am down the line and I should be enjoying relaxation and peaceful days - not so! Living on a farm has visions of fairytale proportions " Ooh aren't you lucky" some say imagining me in boots, twee

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

Turning Into My Gran

The snow never came and to say I'm a bit relieved is probably an understatement. I was, like all kids in my day, excited when the stuff fell and couldn't wait to get home from school and get out my sled. Looking back, and if I'm honest, I think I may have had the beginnings of what was to come! My fingers, toes and lips used to ache beyond the pain barrier when I returned indoors and my gran used to ward me from the fire exclaiming, "You'll get chilblains -- come away" But when you're a kid

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

Snowmen Or Snowgirl

I thought we were in for a record year of having no snow and not much ice. The temperatures have been very unseasonal, I suppose rather worryingly, global warming seems more like a reality rather than fiction. I've never known a winter like it, I've actually been known to venture outdoors with just a jumper and no jacket such as never been witnessed in January before. Here we are in February -- here is the snow! Weird though it may seem, we live in the far north west of England quite close

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

Getting Through A Party

As far as weekends go, this one was hectic! It was my daughter's 16th birthday and of course she wanted a small party. She had only her closest buddies and we invited several of our friends. I was stuck in the kitchen for pretty much the duration making Hors Dourves or ' horses doofers' as my hubby calls them. She made her own cake which I thought was quite impressive for a first attempt and the feedback was good too! There was a real sense of homeyness as the fire jumped high up the chimney

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

Hurting Head To Toe

I'm hurting from head to toe and a little bit in between And I'm feeling very sorry for myself, life can be so mean My teeth are hurting and keeping me awake, my hemorrhoids in full bloom Try going to the toilet when everyone's left the room It really makes me wonder how I ever go at all I never eat a morsel my appetite's so small And yet I produce a parcel, not easy by any means I wish I could get stuffed on fiber filled baked beans!   I went along to the dentist -- Dick Turpin wore a

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

The Importance Of Support Groups

My grandmother always said, when making conversation one's private life should never be hung out like dirty linen on the clothes line for all to see! Her point was always taken and I was raised to keep all my problems behind closed doors. It's therefore most unlike me to have become someone who actually enjoys sharing my pitfalls in life with complete strangers and new friends. I'm talking about support groups. Who would have ever thought it.... me of all people, Yep! I hang all my smalls on

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

Just Can't Sleep!

Our first night's slumber in our almost new home turned out to be the most disappointing action we've taken this year so far. We longed for a lovely bed, new linen and our own space instead of in a tin can. We went to bed early and the room was warm -- bed inviting, hot water bottle under arm, bed socks and a tummy full of warm milk. We each let out a moan of comfort as we slipped between the sheets, then silence! An owl hooted in the distance, the hot water bottle made a rippling water nois

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

Rag Doll

All I ever seem to do is wait! My life is one endless waiting room, let me explain. To my family,I am wife, mum, daughter and niece! I was a business woman. employer, independent, confident and self motivated in a male dominated environment. Now I'm nothing more than a stay at home mum. I'm skivvy to my mum and dad -- not that I mind and every other Tuesday I take my aunt out for the day as she's in a residential home. Today I have a quest, like every other day in fact. I'm taking a tr

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

Risk Of Being A Moaner

I can relax now if only for a short time! I had my endoscopy -- un-sedated but thankfully all over in a matter of 15 minutes or so. Thankfully too that he found nothing to alarm him although it would have been to my horror if he had. I kind of like my GI, he's young and quite funny! I get along just fine with him and he's not one bit snooty quite unlike some doctors I come across. I was waiting patiently beforehand in a room full of other patients when I began making conversation with a lad

CFMBabs

CFMBabs

×
×
  • Create New...