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Barbara Lowe's Life with Scleroderma

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Wilderness Years -- In Rhyme!

With head in hands -- How will I cope? No cure to be found -- no hope What will I become, the future is bleak A word I'm not sure of, even to speak   It hit me so hard like a runaway truck It looked like my life had run out of luck I closed my ears not wanting to hear Couldn't even shed a tear!   Would this thing be my demise No information before my eyes A condition so vague, misunderstood And I'd just started motherhood   I went away with heavy heart Not knowing where to start

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Wilderness Years

Y'know, Serena --- The hardest thing coping with a chronic illness is admitting to yourself that you're no longer the person you once were and the uncertainty. The saddest thing is knowing that your family feel the same!   My daughter grew up knowing mum wasn't like other mums. I spent so much time in and out of hospital that in her primary school years she was almost part of a one parent family! For most of her young life she never understood the full impact of the disease and kind of accepte

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The True Impact On Your Family!

The full impact of having a chronic illness and how it affects the family is never really discussed unless the need arises, or you find yourself in a situation where the conversation cannot be avoided.   My daughter attends college; her course work is Health and Social Care. She wants to be a nurse -- Why? I do not know. My father was a male nurse and although I have the utmost total respect for the profession, I still think it can be a thankless job these days! Never-the-less she has my suppo

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Tea Loaf!

Trying new recipes, I came across one on the net! ---- Irish Brack Tea Loaf! So with all good intent, I set myself up in the kitchen with the ingredients and a tingle of excitement. I love baking and I have the chance to show off my fayre this week as I've been asked to provide cakes for an upcoming charitable fund raiser. With scales at the ready, I began to weigh the flour, fruit and sugar.   My daughter sat in the front room occasionally screaming "What are you doing?" but I was engrossed i

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Coal Supplies!

Okay time to stop feeling sorry for myself -- sympathy bottle all out of contents! not that I got any of course! I'm still barking like our Jack Russell Terrier and when I kick off, so does the dog, geese and goats. It's comical -- you should hear it!   I was having a mad session when the coal merchant came. He avoided me like I had a medieval plague and I can't say I blame him. I've never seen him tip bags of coal as fast and in a way I was quite thankful that he left so abruptly. I wasn't f

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The Dragon's Den

This could quite easily be the beginning of a child's fantasy story.   I sniffled and coughed into the dragons den I didn't know whether to run or hide right then To face your nemesis when you don't feel great When you have to go before it's too late   My name was called and I walked to the door Took a deep breath and awaited the roar I walked into the room with little hope Was met with a woman and stethoscope   Her face seemed so gentle, but was it a fable As she spun on her chair

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Stay At Home Mum

I've had such problems with my internet connection that I'm not sure whether this will get through or not. I honestly think that if I hired a carrier pigeon, learned Morse code or wrote a hand written letter and posted it in a remote place -- it would get there faster than I'm able to post. So much for modern technology, eh!   It's been driving me mad, and with a heavy cold to boot, I'm not a happy bunny! I'm sniffling, coughing and feeling generally sorry for myself with little sympathy actu

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Beam me up Scotty!

Just reading Barefut's blog kind of makes me feel lucky that my journey did not involve practically swimming there, or trying to get through a concrete jungle like Tarzan's bit of fluff -- Jane! (not that I'm suggesting you live in a concrete jungle, or are anyone's bit of fluff) But you kind of know what I mean -- you need an endurance medal dear!   May I ask what Luke Skywalker's relevance was? I mean we have cardboard cut outs at the reception desk but they happen to be real! Actually now y

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Frustrating Day!

Ahhh! Five thirty in the afternoon -- I'm all alone. It feels strange to be sat in total silence and solitude for once. The only audible sound is the clock ticking on the wall and the odd crackle from the fire. It's usually around this time of day that the family come home and the house is filled with the sound of my daughter hollering downstairs, "Muuumm! -- where's my slippers -- what's for dinner?"   My hubby requests a cup of tea, switches on the TV and then stretches out on the couch to

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Crunch!

I'm fed up of hearing about the world's economy! Every time you switch on the TV, open a newspaper, listen to the radio or even eve's drop on a conversation at the local supermarket -- it's on everyone's lips, Recession! Doom and gloom it seems and a direct result of people's greed and needs to be better than the next man. It simply had to happen -- a timebomb waiting to explode -- the bubble burst and now we all have to pay for it!   I'm so glad that I retired from the rat race 5 years ago a

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Barefut -- Sisters In Rhyme

Oh! Barefut you are too kind You leave my poetry well behind I guess we have the very same wit We both can write our little bit   I'm glad it's more then pain we share Sisters in arms with much to bear What have we got if not in text What little ache will we have next   Life is like a box of chocs I heard that somewhere on the box I confess I know all your woe And wish for us both, it would go   My neck is hard to move and twist Won't swivvel like in the Excorcist! My rheumatolo

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No Time

My dietician called with concern Was very surprised indeed to learn I've been a very naughty girl And it turned her head in a whirl   Her neat little plan - her regimen Was first on my back then off again You see it's not very easy carrying on my back A black and unsightly feeding rucksack   You need the calories, and vitamins too (And all she said I already knew!) To miss your feeds in such a way To go without almost every day Is almost a timebomb waiting to blow I hung my head a

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Pain

Ouch! I grab my shoulder again I rub away a little pain What may be agony to other guys Is just a nuisance, not my demise   You see I suffer many aches A catalogue it surely makes Whilst one bit aches beyond compare My other pains are just not there!   My neck is stiff and hard to turn A better stance I'll have to learn Just for today I'll need to rest Just while I'm not feeling my best   I hate this condition, don't want it no more Even my knees are feeling sore I'll get out my

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True Love Not In Text!

They say that the course of true love never runs smooth, well, after 19 years of marriage and almost 25 years of being together, I think I'm pretty much experienced in that game. And like it or not, it is a game and that's what I tried to tell my daughter who sat uncontrollably sobbing about the guy who texted her at 2am to say it was over!   What does a mother do when she sees the one thing she loves most of all in her life, upset, distraught and crying. I cradled my girl with tears in my eye

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Sticky Mess

Making treacle toffee is not for me I guess I always end up with an awful sticky mess No matter how I make it - it's never a success I have to say I'm beaten, can't make it I confess   My grandma had the knack, that I did not inherit Never got the recipe so never gained the merit It was always very edible, better than my mum's Didn't need a trolley jack to prise apart your gums   My last attempt was fabled and went straight in the bin Couldn't get it out the pan or even out the tin I

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Toffee!

The clock strikes 11. So far today I've manged to make gooey treacle toffee, Y'know the failed attempt that never sets, create a mound of washing up and leave work surfaces strewn in a sticky mess.   I don't know why I did it. You see I have this stupid desire to make perfect treacle toffee. I've made all manner of concoctions in my time, adding an array of ingredients each time different to the last but I never seem to get the mix right! My gran used to make the most perfect toffee, every tim

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Wet More Than Once

I wish I could be one of those persons who profess to enjoy rain pattering down and running in blobs down the window. I wish I could share the same energy when Gene Kelley danced so irritatingly perfect in Singing In The Rain! Since I can do neither, I may as well admit that I hate it with a vengeance and I wish it would stop!   I'm uncomfortably damp all over, getting a soaking each time I stick my head out of the door. I have to go out for fuel for the fire but the rain keeps me a prisoner i

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Fame At Last!

Fame at last! Well actually just a little bit. As you may already know, I work voluntarily for our local radio station, promoting cooking at home. The station contacted me and asked for some help in organising a fundraiser in which they want me to make some cakes promoting the station.   As the result of me saying yes, I have my name almost in lights. It's all too much to take since I've also given an interview for Science Magazine as well and one of my silly poems will also be featured in the

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Letting Go

It's very rare that I write blogs on Saturday but fact is, I just haven't had time. Not that I have too much going on, gone are the days of running around like a headless chicken; whatever that means? But overall the last two days have been a bit hectic.   My daughter went hyper when her boyfriend, a cute little guy, decided to come round to see her. The shame she feels about this farm, I share in sympathetic agreement. It's not exactly the kind of place you would want to bring your flame to,

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An Answer For Serena!

I think Serena (Barefut) is pointing the finger at me -- yes! I know who you are referring to when you mention chickens! And I applaud the fact that you've brought up public conveniences in your blog too. They happen to be my pet hate also, especially where the toilet rolls are concerned. They can never be too low off the ground for me, I am somewhat vertically challenged in that department. Which brings me to a rather amusing story and which may go some way to explain why toilet rolls are place

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Crunch -- What Crunch?

Fire leaping up the chimney, two layers of clothing and a gloomy picture outside. So good to be home -- not!   Where has this year gone? I was looking forward to spring and then summer; I'm still waiting! The summer never materialised nor with it my dreams of a completed house, roses round the door, etc!   Yes! It's been an eventful year, though I don't know where much of it went. We had sadness by the bucketful, joy in small doses and complete stalemate where hopes for a normal family home

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Home with Raynaud's!

The pool area was very quiet the morning after the Greek Evening, for reasons you can probably guess? There was much wine being drunk and a few very worse for wear individuals by the end of the evening -- fortunately I was not one of them.   Yannis was leaning on the bar waiting for customers. He turned on the music as I chose my sun lounger. My hubby and daughter followed on but it was like we had the whole place to ourselves -- it was 9.30am. The sun was beating down, just one more day and w

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No Raynaud's For A Week! - Part 4

What to wear for the Greek Evening was probably the hardest decision I'd had to make all week. Do I wear a dress, nice shorts, or pants? A dress would look more formal and since Greek Evenings had a tendancy to get rather frivolous, I decided to go with 3/4 length shorts.   I had no intention of dancing the Zorba or throwing myself into a belly dance (that would have been interesting). My participation would be merely as a spectator but somehow I always get dragged in and that usually causes a

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No Raynaud's For A Week! - Part 3

I was turning a decisive colour by day three. I had strap marks where my bikini had been. It's not the ideal way of looking your best, I know it can be dangerous but as long as it's done with care and only a couple of times a year, I guess wrong or right, I take the chance. I had a high factor lotion but to be honest I just enjoyed the warmth more than having a tan!   It was the day that we were invited to join in the fun on a planned Greek dancing evening which was to be held at the complex o

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No Raynaud's For A Week! - Part 2

Second day began much as the day ended previously. I was on my lounger before the rest of the complex got up. Already the temperature was in the high 80's, today was definately going to be a scorcher.   A single bead of sweat ran down my cheek, but it was a satisfying feeling after the only moisture to run down my face was the pouring rain of home and no way was I moving out of the sun -- I'd frazzle first! Thank goodness the sun agrees with me and I'm not unfortunate enough to have a reaction

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