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footprints

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Midwest Snowstorm in Northwest Washington

I was born in the Midwest and I have seen their snowstorms and this is definitely one of them. How it got itself way over here, I do not know. I think it's lost.   The forecast calls for 70 - 90 mph winds in some places (one of those places just 15 minutes from me) and power outages to go with it. Right now it is snowing hard and blowing. We haven't seen this much snow around here in about 20 years. And the cold! 14 degrees the other day -- who knows what with the wind chill. My Raynaud

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Sclero Rant

After reading Lori's post on losing her husband to scleroderma I had to take timeout again for a good long cry. Every time I hear of this disease taking someone's life I feel like I have lost a member of my family even though we have never met.   My heart aches for the families who have lost their loved ones to this ugly, unpredictable, disease. Families whose only consolation is that now their loved ones are no longer suffering.   And then I get angry because its not fair. And then I want

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With a little help from my friends...and family

Well I managed to scavenge rides from people to get to and from work on Saturday and Monday. When my sweet neighbors saw me getting dropped off Monday evening, I got a call as soon as I got in the door:   "Are you a single mom in need of a vehicle?"   "Yes..... Why? Do you happen to have an extra one lying around?"   "Yes, we'll bring the Bronco over - why didn't you just ask?"   Why didn't I just ask? I did think of asking but couldn't bring myself to. It felt like I would be asking

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I Cope?

It was a Friday and I had a meeting before bank hours at another branch in town. When I went to leave, 'ole Betsy wouldn't start. I hitched a ride with a co-worker as she was leaving. My co-worker let me borrow her car on my lunch break to see if I could get Betsy started. I couldn't. Still, I wasn't panicking. I was sure that my mechanic would be able to just wiggle something and away she would go. After all I had just spent $2500 on her in the last year, almost everything was new, what e

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I Cope

As I lay in bed last night, I thought about coping. Kind of eerie how when I read Barb's last blog, the word cope kept popping up. Sometimes we seem to be on the same wave length. Then again, coping is a common thread amongst us sclerodermians so maybe I shouldn't read too much into it.   When I was a sophomore in high school I made myself and my best friend a T-shirt for gym class that said on the front, "That's okay" and on the back, "I Cope". I think people liked it. Teachers and peers

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Mad House!

It seems Barb and I live parallel lives on opposite sides of the world. Only whereas Barb has a menagerie of animals making chaos for people, I have a menagerie of boys making chaos in my house.   Looks like a bomb went off in here. I look around and just want to cry. I could pick up and clean up and it would look good, for about a half an hour. I hate living in a mess. No matter how hard I try, I just can't relax in a messy house. It's depressing. Even more depressing when I don't have t

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Ahhh Sweet Solitude

A giant bowl of popcorn to go with my butter and salt, a glass of wine and the boys' leftover chocolate; who could ask for a better dinner? And I get to enjoy it in peace and without guilt while the boys are at the neighbor's house.   Adult indulgences -- so few and far between. I want to go to a grown-up movie, even if it's by myself. The last grown-up movie I saw in a theater was Jerry Maguire -- or was it the Fugitive? Either way, it was like 11+ years ago!   My co-worker's kids were

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Slacker Mom

Okay Barb, do you want to stop making me cry now? :P   I couldn't agree with you more on all points except for maybe the part about me dealing with parenthood immaculately. I muddle through. Seems I am constantly looking for role models and asking every parent I know, "Do you run into this (or that) - what do you do?" As with Scleroderma, I guess I just don't want to feel all alone in this uncertain adventure called parenthood.   Then there's my two subtypes of being a Parent: 1. Singl

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A closer look

Barb, I just read your latest blog through streaming tears. It was beautiful and you have a beautiful daughter.   How timely too! This is the second time tonight I have been prompted to take a closer look at how scleroderma has affected my family.   No matter how hard I try to carry on as if scleroderma isn't a factor in my life, or in the lives of my boys, it is there. It will always be there and it does change their lives too because it changes the way I parent my children.   If I ha

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Cold, Fat and Lonely in Paradise

Yea Barb, I know what you mean. Thank goodness I only travel to the concrete jungle, I don't have to live there. I am blessed to live in a paradise with only the weather to complain about (and the occasional rubber necking tourist when I'm in a hurry) I wouldn't mind being someone's bit of fluff either. :D Do I get Tarzan along with that title? But a bit of fluff I 'aint. More like a ton of lard.   Oh, you asked the significance of the Luke Skywalker cardboard cutout in my rheumatologist

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A typical check up

Barb, your 3 month checkups sound kind of like mine. A two and a half hour minimum, one way travel time, crossing 2 bodies of water, one by floating bridge that is usually open to submarine traffic every time I cross it and I must wait at least 1/2 hour. The other body of water crossed by ferry usually during commuter time. Then a treacherous hill climb through downtown traffic and dodging pedestrians running to beat the light. Finally to the top of the hill and into the parking garage. No s

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Dear Rhyming Barb

Oh dear Barb what can I say? Your poems always brighten my day. :D   You are so clever, you have such wit Your writing you'd better never quit   I am so sorry you are feeling pain to the bone I want to tell you, you are not alone.   My hips are rebelling going up the stairs And my knees are screaming at the weight they must bear.   My shoulder too is giving me grief When can we ever find some relief?   The pain has gone up my neck and down my arm This dismobility is causing ala

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New Affliction

My brain turned to mush at work with a balancing nightmare. If you work in banking or with numbers at all, I'm sure at one point or another you've experienced mushbrain. I was relieved to know that there is such a thing and that it was not just me.   One of my very understanding and sympathetic supervisors, bless her sweet soul, told me that mush brain is very real and that if you can remember your name when asked, or even understand the question, then you will recover quite nicely.   I

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Random stuff

In thumbing through a specialty catalog the other day I came across 2 items that reminded me of a couple of members here. One was a T-shirt that said, "It Is What It Is". The other was an outdoor 'welcome' mat that said, "Close The Door The Chickens Will Come In!" I'll let you all try and figure out who I am talking about. ;) And if anyone wants the name of that catalog, feel free to PM me.   I may have over done it a bit in my workout tonight. Sharp chest pains. Please, if I have to ha

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A short update

Long time no blog. Just enjoying my first cup of decaf for the day as the sweat from house cleaning evaporates from my forehead (why do I need a treadmill?).   My new employer held its annual awards dinner lastnight at a fancy golf and country club. I really wanted to go but my body didn't. I even had something to wear and the boys were pawned off on the neighbors for the night. Oh well, there's always next year.   Since the kids spent the night at the neighbors, I got to sleep in until 8

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Firsts

First day of school. YAY!!! Need I say more? Nah.   First day on the new job. YAY!!! Need I say more? Yes! Not only do I have a desk, I have an office! A brand new cushy office in a brand new cushy bank with brand new cushy furniture. It will make up for losing my water view at my old bank.   My new bank is a bank/coffee shop upstairs from a funky uptown market/deli. My new position is Personal Banker. I am looking forward to new challenges and a better paycheck. Pretty cool I ha

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Wake up call

We attempted a day at the Lake yesterday but got rained out 1/2 way there so we went school shopping with grandpa's gift money instead. On the way home we were stopped on the highway for nearly 2 hours due to a terrible multi car accident. We counted 6 aid cars passing us to get to the scene. I was sick in my stomach. Had I not stopped to rummage for empty boxes on our way out of the warehouse store, we could have been part of that accident.   Driving by the wreckage, the worst of the cars

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A Day at the Lake, No Piece of Cake

I thought a day at the lake was in order since it was going to be a hot one. So trading in mountains of dirty laundry, dirty dishes and doggie mess for mountains of evergreens, I loaded up 'ol Betsy and headed out to pick up Ryan's friend and we were on our way. Right after we got the mail, finally returned All Star baseball uniforms, stopped at the grocery store for ice and water, and the deli mart for sandwiches. THEN we were on our way. Half-way there, another stop at the discount store for

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Sacrificial Rose

Weeds, disease and garden pests - AGH! I can't keep up with it! Watering my "gardens" (weed patches) tonight (a little late) I couldn't believe how fast and how many weeds popped up since I was in the garden last. How long ago was it? Seems like only last week but may well have been 2 or even 3 weeks ago - I don't know. All I know is I obviously can't keep up with it.   I have often wondered why I even keep the rosebush by the front door, which every year becomes ridden with disease and p

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Procrastination and Reflux

I am finding that I am starting to use blogging as a procrastination exercise when I should be doing something else. Just like in college when I suddenly decided it was crucial that I do the laundry or clean my room when I really should have been studying. I got a lot of organizing done that way.   I sit here bleary eyed and heavy headed with the clock pushing midnight and the acid pushing up my throat. I haven't even laid down yet and I ate an early dinner. I am going to blame this on my

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Goosebumps

My 10 year old came to me the other day, stuck his armpit up to my face and said, "Look mom! Pit hair!" It was a hair alright. But it wasn't his. Turns out he was teasing me.   We were watching a funny video show on TV where a goose was attacking people. My son's friend said, "Man, geese are mean!" to which my son replied without batting an eye, "That's how you get goosebumps."   Yes, I have a little comedian in my home. He has been a clown since he was able to walk and talk. He made a name

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Soul Searching

The boys and I went to the beach late this afternoon with a picnic dinner and ran into our little birthday girl and her family. They are such great, fun people. Awesome parents, loving, protcective and kind. My little preschool alumni girl snuggled up to me on the driftwood log and asked me if she could sit on my lap. Oh my heart! :D   I'm not sure if I believe in coincidences or not. I'm one of those who tends to believe that almost everything happens for a reason; we just have to be paying

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Summer day

The sweet, sweet smell of my fresh cut sweet pea flowers fills my kitchen :D (nice change from the litterbox smell :P ) It took me all day but I managed to get all the grass mowed, all my plants watered and had spoons left over for some planting, pruning and picking. The boys helped me mow the backyard and the oldest did a little weed whacking. My little men.   During the hottest part of the day we went to a Hawaiian themed birthday party for a little friend of ours who turned 7. How nice it

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Crash and Burn

Well I couldn't do it today. I just could not make it into work. Fatigue and exhaustion won. Haven't been sleeping much all week. Burning flank pain came back too so I saw my urologist on a moment's notice (he's a gem). No blood in urine. doctor says burning pain is nerve related. He asked what's up? I told him just more of the same - and not sleeping. He suggested a sleep aid for a limited time, so I said I'd try it. I'll start it tomorrow.   Hopefully, catching up on some good deep sl

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Crazy life

What a crazy past few weeks! Gone from 8am to 8pm, 5 days a week with Ryan's baseball practices every week night 5:30 - 7:30. It's not time, or fuel efficient to be driving back and forth from home all the time, so Jeffery and I hang out at the baseball field during practice and have some quality time together. We talk about his day, pass the football, play baseball, or just snuggle in the suburban. Sometimes he plays on the playground with the other little brothers and sisters and I get to

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