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I'm having one of those days! Y'know the one's where you need to scream but no one listens. My whole life revolves around my family, feeding them, the animals and trying to feed myself. So what happens if I can't feed myself. like today. I'm bunged up, blocked, totaly backed up with liquid nutrition. My tube is solid, kaput! I went about my usual business this morning after a really uncomfortable night. My neck, shoulder and arm were killing me, not to mention my feeding pump kept bleeping every few minutes or so. In the end I growled, got up and switched the ###### thing off.

I got back to sleep eventually, must have dreamt about something because I woke up wondering where in the world I was! It was 7am I knew that much. I got up to go to the bathroom then shot back as my tube pulled me back towards the machine, ****! I'd forgot to disconnect it, more worrying I'd forgot to flush it. I woke my husband and daughter and I just knew today would be challenging, so far it has been!

My hubby now off to work and daughter scurrying around in her bedroom, I decided to flush my tube. I knew deep down that it would be blocked, that stuff sets like glue. I was right! I pushed, pulled shunted, you name it, but the stuff wouldn't move. My daughter shouted from her room. " What on earth are you doing! you sound like the cat when she's constipated" Very funny I thought, but true. I needed her help but I wasn't getting that until she'd finshed her daily routine and the house smelling like Jennifer lopez's boudoir.

Finally she emerged like she was going to her prom, only she was going to school. I asked her to try, and only after a slight moan she set about pushing water through my tube, I have to say without success. She pushed so hard at one point that the syringe blew and water went all over, her face was a picture. " I hope that was just water" she scorned at me, and only after proving that it was, she forgave me.

Next stop was the nurse. Have you ever tried contacting them in an hour of need! Sure they're okay when you first get to meet them. " If you ever want anything, just ring we'll be there, no problem" Okay! I rang. I hit a brick wall, a secretary from the middle ages and a whole lot of " Oohh, I don't think so" So what next!

I called at my general practitioner's surgery in the next village. The resident nurse there nervously told me that she'd not done one of these in years, well, that sure gave me confidence. I should have walked out there and then and saved everyone the bother. She pushed, pulled, moaned and then gave up. I left with no more than a phone number to call a speciallist, speciallist, I ask you! A speciallist in pushing and pulling and telling me it's all my fault, yeah I know!

So here I am, completely wasting my day. My hubby will be home soon for lunch and I'm still waiting for mine. Hard to tell at this stage if I'll ever get it moving, but one thing is for sure if I don't, I'll be in hospital for a couple of days whilst they scratch their heads wondering whether they should replace it or not. I'll just go with the flow -- whatever!

My hubby came home with a bottle of soda water for irrigation purposes. He tried and tried but to no avail, "This tube is definately blocked" he exclaimed! with that he returned to work.

I'm not having a good day, since when did I ever! you can have a moderate day, even a so, so day. Etsy kietsy as they say in greece, but never a good day. So before I sink into feeling sorry for myself, I'll go and do some theraputic shopping before the daunting task of contacting the hospital. The ovewhelming doubt of, should I, or should I not keep swirling around in my head. It's 12.30am, I'll go shopping first and then I'll tell them later. I could do with a few days away from the geese.


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