My first day in a new job, well I say first day in a new job but actually it isn't a job at all rather it's voluntary!
I'm talking about my first day at the radio station where I've been given the opportunity to air my own show delivering a "Dish of the Day" recipe. I thought I would be very nervous but, you know what? I wasn't in the slightest. My little item lasted about 15 minutes on air but I spent quite a bit of time at the station afterwards just chatting --- something I do best! I learned a fair bit about the media and how the station worked and I have to say I quite enjoyed the whole occasion. I'm back there next week with a recipe for carrot and walnut cake, my family's personal favorite and I was coaxed into taking in a sample for the DJ's, well I suppose it's only right to do so since the listeners can only imagine how it will taste not actually being there!
I feel a sense of worth since doing the show. I'm not malingering at home, chasing geese or fighting with the dog for supremacy. I feel that the very one thing I lacked was a feeling of any importance and I think that's how you feel with a chronic illness! I was getting bogged down at home with no sense of purpose but to do housework and cook for my family at least now I have a job of sorts and can finally contribute to society as I used to. It will do wonders for my confidence and when your confidence is on a high -- you feel better within! I reckon I'm so full of myself at the moment that I'm doing the "Me" show and why not! I'm giving myself the attention I've longed for for over 2 years, the confidence and stature I lost, might just return and I can be "Me" again instead of a woman with scleroderma bogged down in self pity.
Life is good at the moment. Summer is but a month away. The weather is wonderful. I'm settled in my little world except for the minor problem of geese. "Oh no not them again?" I hear you cry. Well they are a pain in the derriÃ¨re I keep telling you. They ate most of my garden, they got through a fence purposely made to keep them out! They ruined the flowerbed, ate all the rhubarb and then broke into the greenhouse. It is only plastic but none the less they ate and vandalized all my seedlings -- that's right they are vandals! Chewing everything for no reason not even to eat it. I feel like wringing their scrawny necks and cooking them for dinner but when they look at me with that daft expression and stupid honk I just melt. The dog agrees with me -- not about the lack of nerve to kill but the fact they should be killed. The dog has no peace but then again she's no angel either and the thoughts I have about the geese apply to her as well. What sane animal would chase a car for about a mile barking at the wheels? I give up the chase at the gate and listen as her bark fades in the distance -- I'll be darned if I go and chase her. She arrives back home like she's committed no offense and lies down at the gate for another passing car. If I chain her up the howling is just too much and the geese take advantage of the situation, nipping her and then making off knowing the chain only goes so far. They all laugh as the dog is flipped up in the air at the end, choked and lying on her back, such fun!
I reckon you now realise why this job is so important for my sanity. spending a day watching such antics can't be good for my brain at all and I'm beginning to act like a banshee, screaming around the place and chasing animals.
Peace on a Friday at my radio show --- Rat race on hold!