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Where Is Global Warming?



Global warming what, where and when will it begin?

I'm counting on my chickens for when it finally comes in

For the very thought of warmness fills me with such glad

I haven't been warm since Greece, the best warm I've ever had

I was just alright in the sunshine whilst others wilted and hit the shade

And I lounged just like a lizard, coz that's how I'm made


At night I wrapped up in clothing before we hit the bars

And all the tourists looked at me as if I'd come from Mars

For they were dressed in skimpy wear with hardly anything on

And I was shivering for them after the sun had gone


Where is this global warming? Oh, I wish it would hurry up!

As my lips sipped a coffee, my fingers round the cup

And when I'd finished drinking I simply asked for more

Then moved further inside the room away from the door

"Don't tell me that your'e freezing," my hubby said with shock

"We're almost on the coast of Egypt, over there by the rock

"If you can shiver here, my dear, then pity you when we get home

"You'll freeze like an ice cube right through to the bone."


At night the air conditioning was sneakily switched to low

And underneath the duvet I would always go

Whilst hubby sweltered in the heat and moaned that he was hot

I was nice and warm that's all, and that's all I ever got

Still I never once got bitten, those mossies kept away

They had a feast on hubby and then went their merry way


Back home again in England and I'm sitting by the fire

In my furry little boots and fluffy night attire

I've got my regular position stoking up the grate

And my hubby in his undies in a melting state

Where is this global warming? It can't come soon enough

For someone who had Raynaud's, the weather here is tough

I'm sorry for the penguins, the polar bears and the seals

But unless you have this condition you don't know how it feels!


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