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All That I Am - Part 10

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(cont. from Part 9)


Just us three! That's how it was always going to be and although our disapointment was hard to swallow, life goes on. We bought ourselves a little touring caravan. We had a large car, big enough to tow our little box up and down the country. My daughter was 5 years old and the look on that childs face when the caravan was cleaned ready for our next trip was a picture. We'd pick her up from school, much to the envy of her friends and head for the English Lake District. It was only a short journey, but we knew a place where they catered for young and old alike. It was a site like no other. It had entertainment for the kids during the day and early evening and then the adults were catered for till the small hours. We never stayed for the late show, so venturing back to our little box early evening and then perhaps going out for a little tour in our car before returning to bed.


My daughter loved Bradley Bear, the 6ft tall children's entertainer who was the saviour of many a bored child. I applauded the guy in the furry suit wondering how he managed to be so energetic in the hot stuffy atmosphere of a club. The place became simply known as "Bradley's" and the mere mention of his name was like all her birthdays had come at once. It was there where we talked about the effects that sclero was having on our family. I'd just learned that it was in fact the cause of my non-fertility and was rather callously told that all things being equal, I shouldn't have had a child at all. Maybe then, I should have spent my time being more proactive with my family instead of wasting everyone's time trying to get pregnant. Of course money was mentioned. I was reminded how much money this type of treatment costs and I somehow felt like I'd cheated the health service out of millions, but how was I to know?


We had many great times in our little holidays until my daughter grew, and grew too big for Bradley and too big for the caravan. She soon longed for holidays further afield and that grew into her love affair with Greece.


I always felt much better in Greece! The warmth of the sun, the food and everything seemed much calmer. I had no aches or pains, my Raynaud's never showed up and I ate much better too. I was beginning to love this place even more than before. I never seemed to have a problem, until I returned home that is. Straight off that plane and walking to the arrival lounge at Manchester Airport, I'd have a Raynaud's attack! By the time I got home, I'd be freezing, aching and back to square one! Typical England -- raining and miserable.


I returned to work with a glut of paperwork and a whole pad of messages. Welcome back to reality and a mountain of new orders and some old ones too! I had irate customers raging on my answerphone: "Where's my job?" And new customers begging for quotes. Head in hands, I wished I was back in Greece!

I had staff, all girls, lining up telling me all the gossip and who said what to whom! And whilst I was catching up, the phone never ceased to ring. First day back -- I hated it and I suppose looking back, I'd have longed to be a stay at home mum at that point. I never thought I would be, never wanted to be, but in the end had no choice. I never expected to end my working life so drastically but who knows what life has in store for them?


My life was about to change -- a nightmare, it has to be said and I wasn't prepared for that!

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