It's that time of year again! -- Oh, I'm not complaining because when the geese get the hots for each other, I know that spring is just around the corner. Problem is that they become so vicious, and a nasty nip from that huge gander is the last thing I need right now.
Yesterday I was outdoors when the phone rang, typical huh!. My dad flustered and began shouting for me to come indoors as there was someone wishing to talk to me. I dashed across the lawn in my own style -- more a fast walk really, then as I got close to the house I slipped on some goose poo, and fell on a housebrick onto my knee which was also covered in goose poo! My knee was grazed and my whole knee cap went numb but hurt like crazy as well -- work that one out? I was livid!
I limped into the house, dirty knees and with a voice sounding like I was being garotted, I tell you it was sore. My dad cried "What have you done" but I just raised my hand in gesture and picked up the receiver.
"Hello! Mrs Lowe -- I'm pleased to tell you that you've won an holiday for 4."
I must get a hundred of these calls evey week and quite honestly I'm tired of explaining myself. You see they're a kind of 'spam' call. I haven't won anything really and although it's not against the law to cold call someone, it is highly irritating.
"I'm not interested" I said, rubbing my knee and cringing with pain.
"Not interested in a free holiday Mrs Lowe? Do you understand what I'm offering?"
At this point I was neither bothered if I'd won a trip around the world, to the moon, or to Lapland, I just didn't buy it! I reiterated as I always do: "You don't get nothing for free love -- I'm living proof of that. I had a sex change on the cheap and now I pee backwards and my husband's run off with the trading standards wife -- lost his job, and the the trading officer's after his guts and frozen our assets..." I went on and on with a load of dribble until I heard the 'click brrrr' of the phone being put down on the other end.
You may think I was being awful but enough is enough. These people are ruthless con artists who steal, yes steal, money from honest decent working people without any conscience. I've heard of many old folk losing their life savings to these people and also the sick and disabled who think that they've won something really special for once, only to find they have been cheated.
I guess we're all prey to this cold calling culture, and with a disease like this, it's easy to fall into that trap. The promise of warmer climes, the fact that you've won something for the family, is all the con artist will think of when he/she calls you.
Beware, take care and if it sounds too good to be true -- then it probably is!