Ever had one of those I want my mommy days? Remember when you were a little kid and everything was unfair and no matter what you did it seemed things only got worse as the day went on until finally there was a straw that broke the camel's back and you just couldn't take it anymore and you cried out loud, "I want my mommy!" because a mommy's job is to make everything all better.
At 42, crying I want my mommy seems kind of pathetic but nevertheless, I want my mommy! I look around at my neglected house and yard and feel so overwhelmed. Just letting one day go by without keeping up on picking up, and doing the dishes is enough to send me into a depression. It's like not being able to pay a bill one month; next month it's going to be double - with interest and late charges! :(
Where am I supposed to find the energy to do it all? I am constantly prioritzing every move I make so as not to be wasting spoons on things that can wait. You should see how thick the dust and cobwebs are on the shelves above my living room windows. Dust and cobwebs are not a priority. I tell people it's an experiment.
Even for those of us who grew up without mommies, or mommies who were less than mothering, I'll bet you can think of someone in your life, a grandmother, aunt, sister or friend who has been there for you on your I want my mommy days even if it was only to listen to you while you unloaded.
I want my mommy to come help me with my house, yard and kids. Oh to come home from work and smell dinner waiting for me....to have this place dusted, to have my garden weeded, to have my little projects completed....all the things my mom likes to do for me and does so well.
Mom is not here yet but she still plans to come and I am finding that I am needing her help more everyday. Admitting that I need help is still hard for me but I guess I just need to get over it. Most healthy single, working moms can't do it all alone so I suppose I need to give myself a break.