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Mini Zoo

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Your wish, barefut, is my command! I read your blog and thought, Would an extension to my mini zoo really be that difficult? True my condition is such that I can no longer run faster than an irate gander, or jump on a goose so as to clip it's wings but I like to think that my youthful looks (er! what do you mean, "Who are you kidding?") and athletic figure could cope with perhaps a couple of cute little pygmy goats.


I set about my quest after numerous attempts by my gormless hubby to obtain any kind of animal other than a cat, and true to my indomitable form -- I got five pygmy goats! I put an advert in the local corn mill: "Wanted -- Goats. Any breed, any quantity." The call came yesterday and like a kid going to the sweet shop, I dragged my bemused hubby from work and proceeded to a little farm in the next village.


I gazed in awe as I peered over the fence because not only did I see goats, but lpacas and llamas. "Oh My," I whispered (OK, it was something to that effect). They were the most beautiful animals I've ever seen. They came over and stood head and shoulder above me with their melting eyes, long eyelashes and gorgeous faces. "I WANT ONE!" I screamed. But hubby was long gone and in conversation with the farmer.


"Tractors," I heard my hubby say as I neared a huge shed and indeed there were many. "Goats," I said as I entered with a huge beaming face and bursting to tell him about the alpacas. But tractors were on the menu and I stood listening to horse power ratios, drive shafts and cog wheels.


By this time my fingers had long gone from use. My toes were ice cubes and I was stomping around like I needed the toilet. Finally we got around to goats! They all have names, 2 billies, 3 nannies and very friendly apparently. We arranged to collect them on Sunday, then we were quickly back to tractors.


I mumbled in total love for the alpacas in the background "Oh, what gorgeous eyes and the coat, so soft, beautiful faces, please can I have one?" My hubby glanced towards me and with eyes close together he uttered a resounding, "NO" And for fear of sounding childlike I kept my awww! to myself


Why is it that most males assume that women are stupid when it comes to mechanical things. I had to remind my hubby that I was driving tractors at the tender age of 12 and I was not the dumb blonde I appeared to be. Sure the tractor then was an old grey Fergie, it went forwards and backwards, had three gears and started with a lighted touchpaper, honestly it did! My uncles used to run out of the farmhouse with a flaming newspaper and stuff it into the funnel. Bang! It was off and it never stopped running all day.


Maybe my finger problems started back then. Perhaps I have vibration white finger from all that shaking on that tractor. It did vibrate quite a lot as I remember. The steering wheel was like a lump of jelly and the gearstick wobbled around cracking my knee every now and then. But they were happy times and we made hay, so don't tell me about tractors when my hubby never had the pleasure of driving one.


So, Sunday we'll have goats but alas no alpacas! At £4,000 each they can look beautiful in someone else's field. I'll stick to goats for now along with my bantam chickens, irate geese and love struck teenager, not forgetting my gormless hubby!

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