My 5 year old still thinks I'm the greatest and I'm savoring that like melt in your mouth chocolate. He still draws me pictures with "I love you mom" written on them. He still crawls up in my lap and snuggles, gives me hugs that last all day and doesn't mind my smoochy kisses. I know he still thinks I'm the greatest because he tells me so.
He also writes me poetry. Here's his latest:
Rosis ar red, the skii is blluu but most ov ol I love you!
My 10 year old doesn't want to be hugged in front of his friends, won't let me hug him for more than 5 seconds and hates my smoochy kisses. Most of the time he's mad at me for having rules and actually enforcing them now and then. Therein lies my problem - "now and then". I have to admit that I have broken the rules myself - the number one rule of parenthood: Be Consistent!
I have a good friend who reminds me when I am feeling less than adequate parentally, that, as parents, we are all just flying by the seat of our pants, making it up as we go along, playing it by ear and hoping for the best, and if anyone tries to tell me differently, they're lying! She's a good friend. And by the way, she has awesome kids.
My kids are awesome too. Each in their own separate ways. I do miss my big one being little, crawling up on my lap, snuggling, writing me little love notes. But he's on to big boy things now and it's just not cool to have your mom hugging and kissing you at the bus stop. I'm just going to have to be happy with a shoulder squeeze and know that in his heart he still needs my momma bear hugs and smoochy kisses.