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Sticky Mess

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Making treacle toffee is not for me I guess

I always end up with an awful sticky mess

No matter how I make it - it's never a success

I have to say I'm beaten, can't make it I confess


My grandma had the knack, that I did not inherit

Never got the recipe so never gained the merit

It was always very edible, better than my mum's

Didn't need a trolley jack to prise apart your gums


My last attempt was fabled and went straight in the bin

Couldn't get it out the pan or even out the tin

It stuck like glue to everything, sticking to my cloth

And when the dog found it, up the field she was off


The entourage was following and every animal we own

Was taking little pieces and wandering off alone

The geese's beaks were soldered, the goats had some too

No matter how they tried they couldn't help but chew


I've never witnessed such a scene, the animals were queuing

Instead of grazing on the grass they were simply chewing

The geese were full of treacle, the cat had it on its fur

The dog was running in circles, the goats had it in their hair


By george those goats were quiet, geese were silent too

The dog had given up trying to chew the toffee through

There was treacle in the garden and even in the trough

They'd all had a bath to try and get it off


I'm not making toffee, my family cry hooray!

I can't afford the vet bills that I would have to pay

I can't afford the dentist, so I guess I'll just give in

And buy the toffee from the shop to save all the din.

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