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Mad Farm!



I walked into a sad looking town this morning. My usual trip to the weekly market was just about as damp as the weather. I knew there wasn't the usual entourage because I got a disabled parking space without squabbling or fighting for the one nearest to the market place itself. Could this be the result of the credit crunch I ask myself?


Well the stalls looked very sparse. The little man who stands in the middle with his materials and cottons, hadn't bothered to turn up, which was rather disappointing for me seeing as he was the main reason for my visit! There stood an empty stall just rattling in the wind. I'd forgotten to mention the wind! It was raw, swirling and howling with fast moving dark clouds -- we were in for a downpour never mind a downturn. I wandered aimlessly then decided to go home before I got a soaking to add to my frozen feet.


There was always the supermarket on the way home. I spend more time there these days than in my house! I think it's boredom or the lack of company I yearn for when all the family are out. Anything has to be better than listening to all the racket outside and the embarrassment I feel when the postman gets his trouser leg pulled by our Jack Russell Terrier. I hear him scream but dare not show my face -- he blames me for the dog's behaviour and the last time I ran out to help, I picked her up and she nearly pulled the tube out of my stomach. Now I'm not about to go into the ins and outs of my condition with a grumpy postie who I think quietly hates me, for the sake of a dog who's lost the plot.


That dog needs re-training or something. Ever since my dad left, the dog's gone barmy! We try our best to calm her down but she's a highly strung pooch and we haven't got the heart to chain her up. The geese are just as bad and they encourage the dog by mimicking her bark! It's utter mayhem out there -- no wonder I enjoy the solace of the supermarket!


I very often hear a distant "H-e-l-p" from someone who really shouldn't be in my field. It's either the goats or the geese that have them cornered, they mean no harm. Any kind of bag, means food to them and the gander is very forthcoming when he thinks there might be a titbit for him. He stands tall, right in your face honking, and the more you back off, the closer he comes!


I've had to rescue quite a few people, and what do I get -- abuse! They refuse to accept that they're in the wrong for being there. I mean you wouldn't wander into someone's garden and pick their fruit would you? I despair at times, and when it comes to someone sawing my trees down for fuel -- Hey! They're my boundaries!

I don't know -- the cheek of it!


The postman's just been. I heard his wheels spinning at the end of my drive. I know it's him because the dog shot past the window with hair stood on end. I heard a bang and then a quick getaway! What a place to live when you have to escape the wrath of a mad farm and a farmer's wife who screams like a banshee down the road.


It's raining, in fact it's hammering down. I got home just in time. The wind is getting stronger and I can hear all the debris next door as the wind howls through my great hole in the wall -- yes! I still have a great hole in my wall. If this wind gets any stronger, I'll have every leaf from every kind of tree inside my home. I'll put some coal on the fire -- at least I'll be warm but let down that my plans for today ended before they began!


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