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Thank goodness for the weekend, the family's all home

I'm sick of being stranded every day on my own

At least I'll have some company for a day or two

And find lots of little jobs that they can help me do

I want to choose a carpet, so off to the store in town

I had a colour in my mind, the price was knocked right down

I wanted a nice rich colour of red to match my warm decor

But my daughter wasn't that impressed and found it quite a bore


The salesman tried his level best to sell me his choice of style

But I was just as adamant, it had taken my eye for a while

I wanted stain resistant, my liquid food is just so runny

And trying to mop up the messy spills, really isn't that funny

My husband loses interest and begins to puff and moan

And hasn't the slightest interest in all he's being shown

So I choose the priciest carpet much to the salesman's glee

And watch my hubby's twisted face as he makes up the bill for me

My goodness! I hear my hubby cry although I tell a lie

He's really hopping up and down swearing not to buy


Going home there's silence, the shock has been too great

His wallet flat and deflated, struck dumb in such a state

I chose the nicest carpet the showroom had in stock

A busy little number with a beautiful red flock

It will suit all my decor, my curtains and the suite

And round the whole front room it will look kind of neat

I can picture my little dream home looking like a palace

My hubby J.R Ewing and me Sue Ellen in Dallas.


Then we arrive at our abode, my dream ends right there

The driveway full of goose poo, I can smell it in the air

Piles of buliders rubbish, bricks and beams on the floor

No proper wooden windows and ****! not even a door

My hubby frowns at all the work, he'll have to work real quick

My carpet comes in two more weeks, he looks quite pale and sick

This renovation nightmare has gone on way too long

And I'm sick of listening to the same old whining song

I want to live in a real home instead of a tin can

It's more than I can take, enough for any man

Four long years of making do, living day to day

And I'm not doing it anymore, no Sir, no way!


I'm thinking of the winter holidays, a log fire and a tree

And 10 of my old relatives all coming over to me

I can picture all the oldies, the atmosphere get's madder

I should like to see them tipsy and try to climb the ladder!

Coz that's all we have at the moment to get us to the loo

And if there's an emergency, what else can you do!

But at least I'll have a carpet for all who come to admire

And in the corner a 4 piece suite and a real open log fire

And this will be the winter that we finally move in

Out of that trailer and it's walls of wood and tin

So that's why I bought a carpet, it's not such a crazy thought

It will be the greatest thing that we have ever bought


I hope so any way!


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